Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(88)

Jake’s eyes met mine briefly and he nodded at me, but that was it. It would have been easier to ignore him and the entire situation, but I’d learned that nothing good came from pretending. I’d done that my whole life and it had nearly cost me everything.

I climbed to my feet and made my way to Jake’s cabin. He continued to throw the stick for Bear, and as I got closer, the dog brought me the stick. I tossed it for him just as I reached the bottom of the steps. Jake’s cabin looked almost identical to Xander’s, though he’d done some work on his porch to make it larger. The sight of the single chair on the porch saddened me, though I wasn’t sure why.

“Morning,” I said.

He nodded at me. “You guys back for good?” he asked.

“Yeah, we arrived last weekend. Moving truck hasn’t gotten here yet, though. We’re actually moving to town. It’ll be easier for Lucky to get to school that way… and for us to run the business.”

Another nod. The man clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk, and I was half-tempted to turn around and go home. This man had feelings for Xander and even though he’d never acted on them, it still made me somewhat uncomfortable. I knew I was it for Xander, but knowing this good-looking guy felt something more than mere attraction every time he looked at my man just weirded me out.

I didn’t want it to be that way.

Despite everything, Jake meant a lot to Xander, and I suspected the friendship was important to Jake as well.

“Xander’s stopped by a couple of times to talk to you about staying on with the company. And to make sure you were coming to Gary’s retirement party today,” I said.

We’d completed the purchase of the lodge and wilderness expedition business a few days earlier. Xander and I had spent the past eight months working on everything we’d need to make the business ours. Included in the purchase had been a small house near the lodge which we were set to move into in a couple of days when the movers arrived.

“Been busy,” Jake murmured as he tucked his hands in his pockets.

Fuck, I should just go. He doesn’t want me here.

I ignored the thought and climbed the stairs. No way I was letting Xander lose his friend over this. “I know this must be incredibly hard for you,” I began. “To see him with me—”

“It’s not,” he cut in. “It’s… it’s good to see him so happy.” Jake glanced at our cabin briefly before dropping his eyes to where Bear lay at the foot of the stairs chewing on the stick. “I knew the night he told me about you that there would never be anyone that could hold a candle to you. Even if I’d been in a position to act on my feelings, I wouldn’t have… he never would have been okay with settling.”

I understood what he was saying. I’d done the same with Aiden when I’d started dating him. I’d tried to make him fit a mold that had been created solely for Xander. It hadn’t been fair to Aiden or to me.

“I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “Things worked out exactly as they were meant to.”

“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt?” I asked. “Why not take the chance? You couldn’t have known I was going to show up one day. He told me what you said to him about life being too short not to say what you mean…”

Jake sighed and then settled his eyes on me. “I don’t know the details about what happened between you two when you were kids, but whatever it was, I know it had to hurt like hell.”

I nodded because the emotion clogging up my throat prevented me from speaking. Despite putting the past behind us, the memory of that night was still raw. I suspected it would be a good long while before that sensation disappeared altogether.

“Not everyone is as strong as you guys, Bennett. Not everyone is willing to risk their heart again… not even when the perfect opportunity presents itself.”

His eyes drifted to our cabin again before shifting back to the view in front of him.

“You lost someone,” I said as understanding dawned. He didn’t answer and I didn’t expect him to. But I did see his body stiffen just a little bit.

An awkward silence fell between us and I knew I should go. I began walking down the steps, but stopped when I reached the bottom. I didn’t look at him when I said, “He misses you, Jake.”

When he didn’t respond, I said to Bear, “Come on, boy.” The dog jumped up, grabbed his stick and trotted ahead of me.

“Bennett.”

I stopped and looked over my shoulder at Jake.

“Can I bring anything to the party?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Some of that weird homemade beer crap that Xander likes so much. He says it’s your secret recipe.”

Jake chuckled and nodded. “You got it.”

I hid my smile long enough so he wouldn’t see it and hurried back to the cabin. Just as I reached the bottom step, Lucky came tearing out the front door, clothes askew. “Oh thank god!” he said when he saw me. “I thought I missed you.”

I chuckled and climbed the stairs. I slapped him on the back and said, “Go get the keys. You’re driving.”

“Yes!” he shouted just before he turned and ran back into the house. Lucky still only had his learner’s permit, but in a matter of weeks, he’d be taking the test to get his license. Another sign he was growing up too damned fast.