Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(76)

Bennett launched himself at me with a yelp before squeezing his arms tightly around my neck. I automatically brought my arms around his back to hold him tight. My heart was racing from seeing him so excited, and I wondered how many other times in our lives I’d be lucky enough to see that raw joy on his face.

“Xander, are you serious right now?” He breathed against my ear. “It’s okay if you aren’t, but I don’t want to get my hopes up if you—”

“Yes, Benny. Of course I’m serious. Lucky is a great kid, and he deserves a great dad like you.”

Bennett pulled back to look at me, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Like both of us.”

My chest tightened. “Think so? I wouldn’t be a terrible parent?”

“Of course not. You and I learned from the best, after all. Didn’t we?” His eyes were locked on mine, and I knew he meant my dad— the man who’d taken us to see our favorite bands in concert, who’d taken us to Yankees games, who’d taught us how to fish and how to light a campfire. The man who’d loved both of us unconditionally and had taught us the value of hard work and dedication to family. The man who’d let us be together without a shred of judgement. If Bennett and I were able to become good fathers, it would be because my dad had shown us by example. I felt my throat close up.

“Benny,” I whispered. “I miss him so much.”

“I know you do, baby. Me too.”

Bennett leaned in and kissed me softly, letting our lips stay pressed together until I gathered my composure and could speak again. “Lucky needs us. This is the right thing to do. I’ll move to New York. I write freelance content for several outdoor sports websites. I can probably turn that into a full-time job, so I can be there when Lucky gets home from school.”

“No, Xander. I don’t want you in New York. You don’t belong there.” Before I had a chance to lie and deny his statement, he smiled. “Lucky and I will come here. This is your home and I’m not about to let you give it up.”

“No. You’re the one with a big important job. There’s no way you can leave the foundation,” I corrected. “I’ll move east.”

Bennett let out a big breath and turned to face me on the sofa, crossing his legs and taking both of my hands in his.

“Xander, from here on out, you are my big important job. You, and hopefully Lucky too. I think Haven, Colorado is a much better place for Lucky to finish growing up than New York. You saw how he was in the mountains. He loved it. Can’t you imagine the three of us hiking and camping? Rafting and fishing? Staying in the city isn’t what either of us needs. We need fresh air and space for a new start.”

God, that sounded amazing. Like a dream come true. I used our joined hands to pull him forward for a kiss. “That sounds perfect. But just know that my new start is with you no matter where you are, okay?”

“Even if I decide to move to a nudist colony?” Bennett’s eyes twinkled and he couldn’t help but start laughing.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Maybe my love was conditional after all.

After a few moments, Bennett settled, and I gently pushed him back so I could look into his eyes. “Last night… you mentioned Jake. Why?”

His fingers reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important.”

I ran my hands up and down the warm skin of his sides as I said, “Everything you think and feel is important to me, Bennett. There’s nothing between me and Jake. Never has been.”

“He has feelings for you.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked, surprised by his statement and the certainty with which he’d said it.

Bennett shrugged. “Just the way he looked at you… some other things. I can’t really blame him,” he said with a wan smile.

The idea that my friend had been harboring feelings for me and I hadn’t known it bothered me, but it didn’t really change anything. “It’s only you, Benny. It’s always only been you and it always will be. Tell me you know that.”

His eyes held mine for a moment and then his finger stroked over my cheek as he cupped my jaw. “I do know it,” he finally said, and then he curled against my chest. “Why do you suppose he never told you how he felt?”

“No idea,” I said. “I didn’t even know he was gay.” I began toying with Bennett’s hair. “He said something yesterday about life being too short not to say what you mean, but I guess he didn’t take his own advice.”

“You think he’s hiding something?” Bennett suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?”

He shifted again so he could look at me. “Dunno. Just seems like he doesn’t quite fit here, you know? The stethoscope, the stuff he said about my injuries… just makes me wonder if there’s something more there.”

I pulled him back against my chest and ran my hand up and down his back. “Wouldn’t surprise me,” I admitted. “A lot of people who come out here are running away from one thing or another.”

“Like you?”

“Yeah, like me.”

“But not anymore,” Bennett said softly as his fingers fiddled with the fabric of my shirt.

“No, not anymore.” I dropped my lips to his temple. “Never again.”