Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(5)

Bennett is gay… and he’s fucking Aiden.

I shook my head as I increased my pace on the rocky trail. Poor Bear had to run to keep up with me. I’d spent the better part of the morning avoiding Bennett and his asshole of a boyfriend. I’d sounded like a goddamn drill sergeant when I’d told the kids they had thirty minutes to eat their breakfast and get their tents broken down, but even their grumbling about what a tightass I was hadn’t been enough to deter me. I’d left the group alone as I’d gone ahead to scout the trail, a move that had been wholly unnecessary and had served only to get me away from Bennett’s worried glances and Aiden’s smug smirks. I hadn’t returned until it had been time to get everybody going.

The fact Bennett was gay or that he had a boyfriend shouldn’t have changed anything, but somehow it made things even worse— something I wouldn’t have thought possible. And I refused to examine why it mattered so damn much. It wasn’t like I’d spent all these years pining for something I couldn’t have.

I’d left Bennett behind the second he’d turned his back on me.

As a friend.

As a future lover.

Didn’t matter.

He might as well have been dead and buried six feet under for all I cared.

Bullshit.

Damn! Since when had my fourteen-year-old self decided he was going to be the voice of reason in my head?

“Xander!”

At the sound of Bennett’s voice behind me, I increased my stride. I just needed a few more moments to myself. To steel myself from grabbing the man and shaking him and asking him why the hell he’d ditched me fifteen years ago. What had I done to drive him away? Why hadn’t I been good enough anymore?

“Xander, hold up.”

I flinched as Bennett’s fingers closed around my upper arm. I yanked it free of his hold, but when the motion unbalanced him and he stumbled, I quickly grabbed him by the elbow to steady him. We both froze as sparks danced along the points where we touched. Before I even realized what I was doing, I moved closer to him so our chests were touching. Bennett’s pretty lips separated as he tilted his head just enough so he could look me in the eye. The open desire I saw there had me pulling him even closer. It wasn’t until he let out a breathy sigh that I remembered myself and quickly ripped my hand away before stepping back.

Bennett blinked slowly and then swallowed as he struggled to collect himself. “Thanks,” he finally muttered.

“What do you need?” I asked.

“The kids,” he said between heavy breaths. I turned to look and realized what had happened. I’d been so distracted, I’d ended up leaving the entire group dozens of yards behind.

“Sorry,” I said and then cursed myself. I didn’t owe this man any apologies. But I did need to get my shit together. I was known as one of the best guides in Colorado for a reason, and it certainly didn’t include leaving my charges in my wake where they could easily step off the trail and twist an ankle, or wander off to check something out and get lost in the process.

“S’okay,” Bennett managed to rasp out and then he smiled. “Guess we’re the worst of the worst.”

I had no clue what he was talking about, but when I didn’t respond, he continued on his own. “You know, city slickers.”

One of the things I’d always loved about Bennett as a kid had been his ability to find the humor in just about anything. He’d always been what I needed. But now, his very presence was like rubbing salt into an open wound. Of course, anything he did stung. The way he’d helped the kid assemble his headlamp the night before, the subtle glances he’d sent my way when he’d thought I hadn’t been looking… hell, even when I’d sensed his eyes on my ass as I’d changed. It was like everything I’d ever wanted in a partner, but in the body of the wrong man. The man I couldn’t, or rather, wouldn’t ever have.

“You should head back to the group,” I said. “I’ll slow down.”

“Or I could just walk with you,” Bennett suggested. “You can tell me what you’ve been up to these past few years.”

I’ve been trying to get over your betrayal.

“Not a good idea,” I said as I forced my gaze to the kids who were slowly inching their way closer to us, Aiden bringing up the tail end of the group. I absolutely did not notice the way a sheen of sweat clung to Bennett’s skin, making it glow, or the way his pulse thrummed against the corded muscles of his neck as he took a few sips of water from his bottle.

To my disappointment, Bennett fell into step next to me as soon as I began moving again. I’d allowed the kids to catch up enough so that I could keep an eye on them and be available for questions. Over breakfast, I’d gone over basic map skills and navigation with the kids, and I’d taken several opportunities throughout the day to stop and show them how to determine where we were on the map. The day’s hike was a several-mile stretch that had begun in the wildflower meadows on the edge of the Woodland Rise Wilderness area and headed west toward Drummond Lake. I had plans not to push it too hard today so there wouldn’t be many sore muscles around camp tonight.

The trail we were currently on was wide enough for two people to walk comfortably side by side and would remain that way for a while, so unless I outright told Bennett not to walk next to me, I was stuck with him for the time being. My plan was to let the kids take turns leading the group since we were still on obvious marked trails, but by the following day, the trails would become less obvious and we’d be navigating by map across unmarked terrain. The sun was high in the sky and the morning clouds were burning off to leave just a few fat, puffy clouds suspended in a sea of deep blue.