Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(25)

Even if they weren’t.

Because I’d lost so, so much more than that.

I’d lost everything.

“Xander?”

Lucky’s voice caught my attention and I managed to look up to see he’d stopped hiking at some point, which meant the entire group had and everyone was currently staring at me. A quick look at Bennett revealed the concern in his expression.

“Sorry, what?” I asked.

“Is this where we’re stopping for the night?” Lucky asked, and I quickly looked around and saw that we’d reached the lake. I nodded and automatically began giving out instructions to the kids. By the time we got the camp set up, I’d gone through all of the emotions of that night over and over, vowing yet again that I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I wasn’t holding a damned pity party. I refused to be sad about it any longer. I refused to be anything. Bennett had no fucking hold on me anymore. He was just some guy.

No, he wasn’t even that.

He was no one.

Just like I’d been no one that night when he’d closed the door on me.

Unfortunately, Aiden picked that moment to get in my face about something and I snapped at him, proof that maybe I wasn’t as unaffected as I wanted to be.

He stepped back and held his hands up. “Uh, chill, Ranger Rick. I was just trying to find out if you knew where the fillet knife was for the fish.”

“Your boyfriend’s the fisherman. Ask him,” I barked, picking up my water bottle and heading off into the woods so I wouldn’t be tempted to ram my fist into Aiden’s perfect face.





Chapter 12





Bennett





It was getting dark and the kids were settling down in their own tent groups for the night when I finally got Xander far enough away from the other kids to talk to him about what had happened with Aiden earlier. They’d had some kind of blowup before Xander had disappeared for the entire fishing lesson with the kids.

He’d returned to help with dinner but hadn’t said a word to anyone the entire time. Now, when I saw him head through the woods to the creek with Bear, I decided to follow him. As soon as he reached the edge of the creek and realized I was behind him, he turned and glared at me.

“Go back to camp, Bennett.”

“What the hell is going on between you and Aiden?” I asked.

“He’s an asshole. You two deserve each other. Now leave me alone.” He spun and continued toward the creek.

His jab hurt, but I pushed down the pain and asked, “Did something happen?”

This time when he turned back, the look in his eyes was a cross between hatred and anguish, and it hit me right in the gut. I wanted to double over with the pain of it, but I stood frozen instead.

“What part aren’t you getting, Bennett? I don’t want you here. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to even fucking look at you.” Xander squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before pinning me with a hard look. “You know what? Be with him. I thought maybe you deserved better, but I realized I don’t know you. Maybe I never really did. Maybe you two are perfect for each other. For all I know, you like guys like that. The one thing I am certain about is that I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, Bennett Crawford, so just leave me the hell alone.”

I stood there staring at him, knowing I’d had a strong hand in changing the sweet, quiet boy I’d known into this angry, bitter man, but I couldn’t quell the frustration that went through me, either. I felt like a raw, open wound and my self-preservation instincts kicked in.

“Fine. I’ve been turning myself inside out to talk to you and apologize for what happened the night your dad died, but if you’re so hell-bent on pushing me away, I guess that’s it then.”

I turned back toward camp before stopping and clenching my fists. As usual, I couldn’t stop it there. “Just for the record, I’m not fucking Aiden. We had a thing in college but it’s been over for years. We’re just friends.”

“Whatever,” Xander mumbled. “Like I care.”

Seriously? I whipped back around and stalked closer to him, fighting the tears of anger I could feel building. “What the hell happened to you? When did you become such a jackass?”

Xander stood back up from where he’d been squatting by the stream to fill his bottle. He took two giant strides toward me until his chest was practically pressed up against mine. His familiar cobalt eyes glinted in the dim moonlight streaking through the trees.

“The night you closed the door on me,” he said without any kind of hesitation at all.

My chin trembled and I begged the fucking tears to stay put, even if they had to cling to my eyeballs by nothing but a sheer force of will.

“I hate you,” I said. It came out as more of a sob than an accusation, and I felt myself wince at the sound of it.

“The feeling is mutual,” he rumbled. “Join the fucking club.”

I turned again to leave but he grabbed me by the elbow and spun me around, pushing my back up against a nearby tree. “Why do you keep trying to fix this?” he barked in my face, clearly frustrated.

My traitorous dick began to throb at his nearness, even though my self-preservation instinct was telling me to run. “Because… because I want…” My eyes cast downward at the ground. “I want…”