Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(19)

I glanced at him only long enough to see him shoot me one last glare before taking off down the path, but his last question echoed in my head, bringing back memories from so many years ago. The night that changed everything.

“Xander, did you hear what I said?”

“Where’s Bennett?” I asked. Mr. Crawford dropped a heavy hand on my shoulder. I automatically stopped rocking back and forth because he’d already told me twice to stop doing it. My butt hurt from sitting in the hard plastic chair for so long, but I was afraid to leave it.

Because I knew what leaving it would mean.

It would mean everything the weird-smelling guy in the white jacket had said about my dad was true. And it couldn’t be true.

I began rocking again, mostly to stave off the bile that was crawling up my throat. If Mr. Crawford didn’t like the rocking, that was just too bad because I figured he’d like me throwing up on his fancy shoes even less.

“Xander, did you hear what I said?” he repeated.

“Where’s Bennett?” I asked again. Bennett would know what to do. He’d tell me it wasn’t true and then we’d go home and he’d tell me good night and then he’d wink at me… that wink that said I’d be seeing him again just as soon as he was able to sneak out of the house.

I hadn’t seen that wink in a long time.

But I’d see it today.

I had to.

Because my dad was dead and Bennett would know I needed that wink and I needed his arms around me and I needed his stupid jokes.

“Bennett isn’t here,” Mr. Crawford said. I could tell he was getting impatient with me, so I tried to focus.

“Xander—”

“I heard you,” I cut in. “You said Aunt Lolly is on her way from Florida. She’s going to come stay with me.”

“Right,” Mr. Crawford said and I could hear the relief in his voice. Man, did he think I was too stupid to remember the few words he’d said after I’d watched the paramedics load my dad into the ambulance?

I barely noticed as Bennett’s father wandered off to talk some more on his cell phone. I heard only enough to know that my dad’s death was proving to be an inconvenience for him.

“Xander, honey, do you want a soda?”

I looked up at the round-faced nurse who’d introduced herself as Sarah-Anne. “Where’s my dad?” I asked.

Her gentle smile faded and she glanced down the busy corridor. It had been two hours since I’d followed Mr. Crawford into the bustling ER. Even now, we were surrounded by people doing everything from coughing to crying to laughing, and ranting, but I barely noticed them.

“They’re just finishing up with him,” she said.

Finishing up? What did you have to finish up when it came to a dead man?

Part of me didn’t want to know. “Can I see him?”

The woman straightened and then began looking around the room. “Um, why don’t I look into that for you?” she said awkwardly and I knew my question hadn’t been the right one. I didn’t bother saying anything else as she made a comment about coming right back. I knew she wouldn’t.

I winced. I didn’t always say the right thing.

Except to Bennett. Bennett always got what I was saying… or what I wasn’t.

I debated calling him, but I didn’t remember his new cell phone number. I looked around the crowded waiting room and then got to my feet. I needed to see my dad.

Because I still didn’t believe it.

Dad had been talking to me. Even as he’d been holding onto his arm and telling me to call for help, he’d been talking. He’d been warm. He’d told me how much he loved me and that everything was going to be okay.

Someone had just messed up. They’d gotten it wrong.

I began walking towards the electronic doors all the doctors and nurses kept disappearing through. I saw Mr. Crawford in a corner of the waiting room, still on his phone. Even though he was facing me, he didn’t notice me. But that was nothing new.

Bennett’s parents were pretty good at not seeing the help.

No one stopped me when I walked through the doors. The smell of blood and some kind of strong chemical hit me at the same time, threatening to send my already rolling stomach into overdrive. As I made my way down the hallway, I began peeking through the edges of the curtains that blocked off the different treatment rooms. I numbed myself to the sight of people covered in blood and bandages. I didn’t hear the sobs or cries of pain. I didn’t wonder about what was wrong with them. In truth, I didn’t care. I couldn’t… not while my dad was lying in a room somewhere worried about me.

That’s what he would be, too. Worried about me. No matter how much pain he was in or how concerned he was about how we were going to pay for however much all this hospital shit cost, he’d be thinking of me first and foremost. And the sooner he saw I was okay, he’d get better and then we’d go home.

But when I finally found him in the last room at the end of the hallway, I knew that weird-smelling doctor guy hadn’t messed up. Neither had Mr. Crawford when he’d called my Aunt Lolly and told her that her brother was dead. I placed my fingers on my father’s too-cold skin and all I could think was this was wrong, this was wrong, this was wrong. And my last coherent thought was that only Bennett could fix it.

The sound of Bear barking ripped me from my thoughts and I realized I’d reached the top of the small rock face and had just been hanging there, lost in the memory. The pain was as raw now as it had been then, as I’d waited for Bennett to show up at the hospital that day.