Lost Girls(43)

“Why don’t you like Lauren?” I asked, when we both finally came up for air.

He stared down at my lips, maybe wishing we were still kissing instead of talking about some other girl. “She’s a bad influence.” He ran his thumb over my chin, tempting me to lean back into him. “Just like me.”

I let out a short laugh. “So I should just walk away from both of you.”

“Basically.” But the expression in his eyes said the opposite. It was if he was begging me to give him a second chance. “I tried to stay away from you,” he confessed. “That’s why I didn’t come see you. I wanted to visit you in the hospital, even if all I could do was look at you through a window. I needed to know you had survived—” A pause followed while he searched for the right words. “I drove past the hospital every day and then when you were released, I drove past your house, hoping I’d see you standing in the yard or in front of one of the windows.”

A sigh flowed from him to me, his chest emptying of air.

“I tried to stay away,” he said, “but I couldn’t.”

“Why?” I wanted to know why he tried to stay away—instead he told me why he hadn’t been able to.

“Because I’m so in love with you.”

I blinked and took a half step away. I hadn’t expected to hear this. I’m not sure what I imagined our relationship was, but I’d never guessed it was this serious.

He took my hand again, maybe afraid I was going to run away.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

My heart thundered, as if it wanted me to remember how much I cared about him, but I wasn’t ready to leap from middle-school crush to full-on love. Not yet. Still, I couldn’t ignore the fact that there was a lightness in my chest, like every breath I took came easier now, like that one thing I’d been needing was finally here—the crash cart to jump-start my heart, the miracle drug to cure my cancer.

I stepped closer, a wild fawn moving toward a hunter with outstretched hand. “That’s a lot to take in on a first date,” I whispered with a half-grin.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know how I feel. Not yet. Except I don’t want you to stay away. No matter what you think about being bad for me—”

“You don’t know why I said that, you don’t remember all the things I’ve done, things I regret,” he interrupted.

I put my finger to his lips, stopping his words, those magical words that might be able to charm me into changing my mind. “Maybe this is a chance for both of us to start over,” I said.

“I hope so.” He kissed me again, a soft, gentle, tentative kiss. “And I hope you still feel that way when your memory comes back.”





Chapter Twenty-Four


I stumbled when I walked through the front door, when Dylan’s bike thrummed away, my body not connecting with my feet. The floor of the foyer felt non-existent, the hallway like I was walking on air. I was vaguely aware of Kyle and his buddies still playing video games in the family room, explosions mingling with bursts of laughter. Mom and Dad were sipping wine and playing cards in the kitchen when I walked past, heading toward my room. I think they asked me things like, how was your date? and did you have a nice time?

But all I could hear was Dylan’s voice, his words shy and raw.

I’m so in love with you.

The party had faded away, the tension between him and Lauren, the drugs she’d tried to get me to take—all of it erased by that one confession. Now his words rang in my ears.

My feet barely touched the stairs, all of my weight on the balls of my feet. When I reached the second floor, I did a grand jeté, arms over my head, legs spread so far it felt like I was doing the splits while flying, glad that no one was watching me. Once I reached my bedroom, I turned on my iPod, clipping it to my shirt, earbuds in my ears.

Then I danced for about an hour, until I finally collapsed on the bed, still not tired. So I grabbed my phone and texted Molly, hoping she was still awake. She was. It was like she’d been waiting up for me.

Just got home and guess what?? Dylan said HE LOVES ME! I thumbed.

Duh.

And he kissed me!

When’s the wedding?

Smart ass.

LOL. Srsly. Like I already knew all that. Everybody in the solar system knew.

Everyone but ME. Also, Lauren was kinda weird tonight. I said.

She’s a jerk. Wake up and ditch that crowd. I’m way better.

ROTFL. Yeah. We need 2 do some LOTR cosplay.

When, where, I’m there. Bring the flash mob.

We chatted for about fifteen minutes. It was great to be talking to her again. My new friends were fun, I guess, especially Dylan. I just never knew what to say or how to act around them. Being with Molly was easy.

This was one of those nights when I wouldn’t be able to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I jumped in the shower, ran a towel through my hair, then decided it was time to dig out my summer clothes. My wardrobe needed serious attention. No way I wanted another Can’t Figure Out What To Wear episode like tonight. I started pulling storage bags out from under my bed, until one bag hit a snag. It had tangled on something and wouldn’t come out.

On my back, I crawled under the bed, flashlight in one hand, trying to figure out what the bag had caught on. All the while Kyle’s video game music vibrated the floor beneath me, stirring something, some memory of dancing in a large crowd, all of us laughing, strobe lights and black lights and stage lights flashing, girls wearing skimpy outfits, guys dressed in cargo pants and mesh tank tops—