Lost Girls(24)

“I’m sorry, Moll.” I wanted to say more, but didn’t know where to start. “I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even remember it. I don’t remember anything except waking up in that ditch.” My voice cracked. I blinked and looked away from her, staring out the window instead, at all the afternoon shoppers walking past, all clutching brightly colored bags. Clouds were filling the skies, casting an ominous tone on an otherwise normal scene. “After that, I spent two days in the hospital. I guess I’ve got some bizarre form of amnesia and PTSD similar to what a lot of people got after 9/11. Nobody knows if I’ll ever get all of my memory back.”

Molly’s eyes darkened and she leaned closer, listening with her head tilted slightly.

“Then, after I was finally released from the hospital,” I continued. “I was interrogated by the FBI and they held me for hours. I thought I would never go home—”

“The FBI? Seriously?” Her words came out in a dramatic rush, as she sat poised on the edge of her seat, her blue eyes looking twice as big as they usually did. “You’re not making this crap up, are you? What did they want? I mean, how did the FBI get involved?”

I frowned. “I’m not sure—”

I paused, thinking about that list of girls I’d found in my closet, about my new group of friends at school, about Lauren smoking pot before class, about me dating a guy I’d been crushing on since middle school, about the FBI agent who followed me around in an unmarked car.

“You can tell me,” she said in a low, conspiratorial tone. She’d always loved crime dramas. I think she secretly wanted to be Abby on NCIS, a forensics scientist, dissecting the world one DNA sample at a time. “Look, if I have to, I’ll pinky swear. And, damn, girlfriend, you and me haven’t pinky sworn on anything since sixth grade.”

There was a long pause when she stared at me for effect. That’s the only time Molly ever got quiet. Silence was her way of using more exclamation points. I needed to talk to someone about all this. Molly and I might not be best friends anymore, but it seemed like she wanted to help.

“There are other girls who have been kidnapped, just like I was. Except I guess I’m the only one who got away,” I told her, guilt flashing through me and making my chest ache. “And I’m not the same anymore. I’m—different.”

“Girl, you always were different.”

We both smiled. Our order was up and she went to get our drinks. That’s the way Molly was, a bitch most of the time, but nice when you needed her to be. A moment later we were both sipping on drinks laced with caffeine, syrup, and whipped cream. Neither one of us talked for a few minutes.

“How are you different?” she asked at last. “I mean, is it because you can’t remember anything? Or is it because you realize you’d been a different person last year and now you feel normal?”

“A little bit like that last one.” I glanced around us to see if anyone was listening, then I lowered my voice. “I found a note I left for myself.” I reached into my pocket, pulled out the slip of paper, and showed it to her. “I wrote that sometime before I was kidnapped.”

She read one side, then the other. “Sounds like you turned into a rave rat. Who are these girls on the back?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was planning to go see a few of them after school today. Maybe one of them will know something.” I didn’t want to overwhelm her, so I didn’t mention the fact that I had tackled my brother like a Ninja, using skills I didn’t know I had. “And there’s this,” I told her while I rolled up my sleeve, revealing the needle marks on my arm.

“What the eff?” She ran a finger over the fading purple bruises, then stared up at me. “Are you an addict or something? Is that why your memory’s gone?”

“I don’t know.” My bottom lip trembled when I spoke. “I don’t even know if I was doing this to myself, or if it was something the kidnappers gave me.”

She gave me a pensive glance, her eyes narrowed. “Maybe you’ve been taking something for a long time. Maybe that’s why you’ve been such a bitch this past year.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, maybe if you quit taking it, whatever it is, I could stand hanging around you again.”

I gave her a weak grin. That was one of the things I loved about Molly. She was tough on the surface, but deep down she was someone you could always depend on. I took a quick look around the coffee shop, then checked the time on my cell. “Hey, I need to get going. I need to connect with some of those girls on my list before I head home.”

“You’re gonna do this on your own?”

I nodded.

“You want some backup?” A loud slurp followed as she sucked the last of her drink up the straw.

“What about your paper?”

She gave me a sly grin. “I lied. I don’t have any homework tonight.”

I smiled, glad that Molly was with me. She might still be mad at me for the way I had acted this past year, but as far as I was concerned, she was still my best friend and I trusted her like nobody else.





Chapter Fifteen


The California sunshine had already begun to disappear, and dark clouds were gathering overhead, pale gray fading to thick black. Soft rain pattered down as we headed toward my car. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought the universe was weeping over what was up ahead. But I shook that thought off, refusing to give in to the nervousness I felt, flicking on the windshield wipers and then running my fingers through my hair, brushing the bangs out of my eyes. We had a lot of options and needed to figure out which ones were best.