Long Way Home (Thunder Road #3)(33)

“I’m scared it is.”

“It’s not.”

“Then whose fault is it? It has to be somebody’s fault.”

The crazy coiled within me unravels and I lean toward my brother. The Terror. They’re to blame.

“Stone,” Oz calls. “Come play with us.”

Brandon lights up. He loves playing football with the guys. Makes him feel accepted, normal and loved. All things I try to make him feel, but somehow fail at providing.

Then it’s like someone blew out the sole candle in the room. He doesn’t want to leave me. To be honest, I don’t really want him to leave me either, but I don’t want him moping around over what happened. I need to be strong for him.

“Go on.” I give a smile I hope appears real. “Go play. I’ll watch from here.”

Brandon bounds down the stairs and jogs across the yard to where Oz and Razor are waiting for him. Oz tosses him the ball and the two go off for the open field. Razor, on the other hand, hangs back and he’s watching me. My forehead furrows.

Razor and I are close. Not like me and Chevy, and not like siblings who hate each other like me and Oz. We’re friends. Used to be great friends, but life became complicated after Dad died and Razor fell into the realm of messy.

He’s watching me, like he’s waiting—because he knows me—for a reaction? I scan the yard searching for what I’m missing and then my head tilts. Cyrus, Eli, Pigpen and other guys from the board are heading into the clubhouse and Chevy’s with them.

The guys from the board have been MIA. Now they return and Chevy’s with them? Hell, no. They are not leaving me out of this.

Ignoring my crutches, I hop down the stairs on one foot and then half walk, half limp for the clubhouse. They’ve been gone about our kidnapping and there’s no way they’re going to talk to Chevy without me. Like him surviving, his life, is worth more.

Razor strolls up beside me. Strolls, because I’m angry-hobbling and my full throttle is his stroll. He assesses me head to toe as he keeps pace. “Where’re you going?”

A glare. That’s all I’ve got for him and it causes him to chuckle. Razor’s taller than me, but not by much. He’s blond hair, blue eyes, most girls’ daydream in real-life form, but he’s just as dangerous as he is pretty. “They aren’t going to let you into Church.”

Nope. They won’t. Odds are I won’t even make it to the stairs. They have guys whose job is to hang out in the clubhouse and appear like they’re cool and calm and just hanging out, but they’re there to make sure no one reaches the boardroom. Even if I do make it, the door will be locked, but I’ll be damned before I allow myself to be shunned.

“Ah, hell.” It’s Oz, and he’s muttering it from behind me. Seconds later he’s on my other side. “What’s she doing?”

Razor shrugs. “Ask her.”

“They aren’t going to let you into Church,” Oz says. Seriously, when they’re indoctrinated into the club and receive a cut, do they reprogram their minds to speak alike, too?

“I told her that,” Razor responds.

“Then why is she still heading in that direction?”

Razor loses the humor and his eyes grow so cold I shiver. “You going to tell her no?”

Oz’s lips thin out as he continues to walk beside me. We enter the clubhouse and we catch the other members’ attention immediately. A few look pleased, like my voluntarily limping in here is the long-awaited prodigal-daughter-returning-home moment they’ve all claimed they have been waiting for since Dad died, but they are sadly mistaken.

“How are we playing this, Razor?” Oz asks.

“We say pretty please when we reach the door?”

I snort, because I can’t remember the last time Razor used the words pretty or please. I’m sure that, until this moment, the combination has never been used by him before.

“Hitting brothers is out of the question,” Oz says.

Razors laughs. It’s brief, it’s dark and it caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. “You worry too much about rules.”

“You don’t worry enough.”

We’re halfway through and the conversation that had been taking place in the clubhouse has died. Near the pool table, two guys straighten from the shots they were lining up.

Dust places his pool stick on the table. He’s a good guy. Two years older than me, but he’s one of those guys who you know is an old soul the moment you meet him. Seen too much, and from what Dad had mentioned, Dust had done too much to solve his seeing too much.

Dust’s dad owned a car parts place a county over and Dust used to help my dad with installation. But when I see Dust, I’m back at the funeral home. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn’t make them stop. He handed me tissues. Only man to do that. It was a simple gesture and one I’ll always remember.

“Hey, Violet,” Dust says. “Your mom’s in the kitchen.”

Nothing from me, Razor or Oz. We just keep going and he slides into our path.

“Your mom said you shouldn’t be on your leg. Why don’t you sit and I’ll find her for you, or if there’s someone else you want, I’ll try to get them.”

Try.

Yep, for me it’s always a try.