Long May She Reign(93)

“Oh, no,” Madeleine said. “Not at all. If he finds out I was responsible, he’ll punish me for it, like he wants to punish you. But he will fight his way into the city before he believes you. I do not believe it will help your cause.”

Because Madeleine was so beautiful, so loved, so good. She was everything I wasn’t, or so I’d believed. How could she have killed them?

“You were supposed to be my friend.”

“I am your friend,” Madeleine said. “Whatever else I have done, I am your friend. I did this from kindness, Freya. I did this because it needed to happen, for everybody’s sakes. I am not proud of it. I take no joy in it. I’ve cried over those deaths, and every tear was real. But it needed to be done.”

And that was where we could not agree. No matter the flaws of the previous king, no matter who had ordered the poison, no matter how much she had mourned the deaths, Madeleine had plotted to kill, and kill she had. She had killed Naomi’s brother. She had killed everyone.

“Did you intend to kill me?” I said.

“I did not think of you. I did not know you.”

“And did you try to kill me after? After the poison failed?”

“No! No, of course I didn’t. This was never about me taking the crown. I meant every word I ever said to you, Freya. I think you are a good queen. The sort of queen we need.”

“Then it is lucky Naomi and I left the banquet.”

“Yes. It is lucky you did.”

I continued to stare at her. I couldn’t understand the soft expression on her face, her calm. “You let me arrest Fitzroy. You would have let me kill him.”

“You would not have killed him. You would have found a reason to forgive him. You have a good heart, Freya. You would have known to trust him, in the end.”

“And what about you? What about my heart’s decision to trust you?”

“Perhaps your heart is wise in that, as well. I did what was best.”

I shook my head. I could almost see Madeleine’s perspective, how she had twisted things around, but so many people had died. Innocent people, trying to live in the world they’d been given. Madeleine had punished them all, indiscriminately, just to say she had not done so directly, to say the king’s extravagance was the cause.

“Do you believe me?” Madeleine said softly. “Or should I prepare to go down to the dungeons?”

“No,” I said. “No, to both of those things. If you really are my friend, you’ll stay in your rooms, and you’ll help me to stop your cousin. Once we’ve survived that, then . . . then I’ll decide what to do.”

“I meant what I said before,” Madeleine said. “You will be a great queen. A better one than I had hoped for.”

“If I stop your cousin first.”

Madeleine stepped back. “You have to use your strengths against him. Unsettle him. I don’t know what he believes, but he is too superstitious to be entirely convinced he doesn’t believe. If you can somehow convince him the Forgotten are angry with him . . . that might be the only way.”

I nodded. It was good advice, no matter the source. “I’ll have someone guard the door.”

Madeleine sank into a curtsy, her skirts flowing around her, and I forced myself to turn away.

I wanted to run to Fitzroy’s rooms, but my legs wouldn’t listen. The shock of Madeleine’s betrayal had hollowed me out, and I could hardly feel my feet touching the floor. I floated like a ghost through the castle, barely disturbing the air with my presence.

Down the stairs, along the corridor, past the guards, to Fitzroy’s rooms. I hadn’t planned what I would say to him, had no time to sort through my feelings, so when the door swung open, I simply stumbled forward, my throat tight.

He sat in an armchair, writing. His shoulders were tense, but otherwise he looked fine, he looked like Fitzroy.

“Why did you lie to me?” I said. My voice cracked. “Why did you hide the letters from me, when you knew . . . ?”

He must have noticed the shift in tone, the way my question had moved from accusation to confusion, because he frowned, and when he replied, his voice was softer too. “I panicked,” he said. “I didn’t know my father planned that, not until I saw those letters, when I was reading in the lab by myself, waiting for you. I thought, if you read them, you’d suspect me. It did seem to suggest I might have done it. So I hid them. I didn’t want you to not trust me.”

“So you did something untrustworthy?”

“I knew they weren’t useful for the investigation. They were personal. So I hid them. But I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

“I—I understand why you did it.” That didn’t mean I forgave him, but I could see his reasons. It didn’t make him a bad person, but—that didn’t mean I had to forgive him. “I found the murderer.” I had to force the words out. I’d wanted to be able to say them for weeks, but now they were just . . . hollow. All of it was hollow. “It was Madeleine.”

“Madeleine?”

“She told me.” And I explained all that had happened since his arrest. He began pacing as soon as I mentioned the painting, and did not stop even when the story was done.

“Madeleine,” he said. “That—how? How could it have been Madeleine?”