Long May She Reign(29)

They weren’t helping me. Not really.

Or they were helping me to become their image of a queen. To rule the way they wanted me to rule.

And my father had said to listen to them. I stopped suddenly, pressing my hand against the wall. My guards stopped behind me without comment. I needed to be completely unexceptional, my father had told me. To fit their expectations so snugly that they couldn’t possibly think to complain. Perhaps that was right. But I couldn’t continue like this. I needed answers, and I needed to act, to just . . . to be myself, and to fight for my own solutions.

My gut told me to march straight to my laboratory and start work there. But my lab was a couple of miles away, far out of reach.

Or that lab was out of reach.

I turned to my guards. The gray-bearded man wasn’t on duty, but I recognized the younger, dark-haired man, and a blond girl not much older than myself. Both of them wore the dark-blue coat of the guard, still bearing the old king’s insignia. I needed one of my own. “I want to set up a laboratory,” I said. “Do you know anywhere in the castle I could use?”

The black-haired guard frowned. “I am sure there will be somewhere, Your Majesty.”

“It needs a fireplace. And sturdy tables and cupboards. Some sort of ventilation. And it would need to be in a place I wouldn’t be disturbed.”

“Your Majesty, if I may—” The blond guard hesitated. “I know of a room, but—”

“What? Where is it?”

“Well,” the guard said, as though her words might offend me. “This castle used to house the kingdom’s most dangerous enemies, when such things were a threat.”

“I know.”

“Well, Your Majesty, there is a room—it hasn’t been used for a hundred years now, and no one will go near it—but the room was used to interrogate prisoners, and it has—well, it has all the things you require.”

“You mean a torture chamber?”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I know it is a bold idea. But it has all the things you need, and I thought—”

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, it’s a good idea.” A gory past couldn’t hurt, as long as it definitely was past. The kingdom had considered torture barbaric for a century at least. And if other people were disturbed by the memory, they’d be less likely to visit and disturb me. “Could you take me?”

The guard led me deep underneath the castle, where the stone dripped, and the only light came from iron braziers that stuck out every few feet. The walls pressed even closer here, and the air felt heavy and old.

“It’s here, Your Majesty,” the guard said, gesturing toward a wooden door. “But I’m not certain—”

“Is it locked?”

“No, Your Majesty. No need.” Her expression suggested that no one in their right mind would ever sneak in. Which made it perfect for me.

“Thank you.” I grabbed the handle, and then paused. “I’m sorry. I don’t know your name.” It hurt to ask it—even that question made me feel like I’d reached out too far. But we’d be spending time together now, and she’d helped me. I had to try.

“I’m Mila Erikkson, Your Majesty,” she said, with a bow. “I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself earlier—”

“No, no, I should have asked.” I turned to the black-haired guard. “And—and you?”

“Reynold Milson, Your Majesty.”

“Thank you. It’s—it’s good to meet you. Even though we’ve already met. It’s good to—thank you.” I bit my lip, as though I could shove the babble back into my mouth. Then I turned and pushed the door. It stuck slightly in the frame, and when it finally shifted, it let loose a cloud of dust. I coughed and waved it away.

The room beyond was large and square. Its uneven floor was spattered with suspicious-looking stains. But it was spacious enough, with a fireplace, a large table in the middle of the room, and many cupboards around the sides. Strange devices hung from some of the walls, and jars cluttered the cupboard tops. I’d need to wear a good pair of gloves when I investigated those, and possibly a mask. Who knew what poisons they might contain?

“This is good.” It needed cleaning up, of course, and I’d need to move in my own supplies, but I could work with this. I turned back to Mila. “Find someone to come clean this place tonight, but don’t let them touch any of the cupboards or the jars. Just sweep the floor, clear out the cobwebs. I’ll need some wood for the fireplace, too. And I need someone to go to my house and fetch my things for me. The books, the vials, the bottles, the flasks. I’ll make up a list—or I can go.” I glanced at Mila. “No, I can’t go. But you can go. Now. Please.”

“I’m not supposed to leave you unguarded, Your Majesty.”

She could leave, in theory. The guards had always followed the king and queen’s commands, including making themselves scarce if need be. But Mila clearly thought any such order would be unwise right now, and she was probably right, after all that had happened. “Then someone else can go,” I said. I looked around the room again, already imagining it transformed. It would be perfect. Larger than my old laboratory, and safer for storing my more dangerous ingredients. I could definitely work with this. “Please,” I said. “Find out for me?”