Long Ball(21)

“Well… yeah. I wasn’t a virgin for religious reasons or whatever. I was only 19. Most of my friends had already had their cherries popped, but I just never felt that it was something I wanted to do…until I met... you.”

All I want to do in that moment is jump across the table and kiss her. But I don’t want to scare her away, so I don’t. Instead, I poke around her Facebook page. “Who is this guy in your profile picture?”

“Oh.” She hides her face. “I don’t get on here often and I always forget that’s there.”

“Old fling?” I tease, even though my heart drops and I want to punch this guy in the face, despite never knowing him.

“Well, yeah.” She chews on her lower lip again. “I was actually in a pretty serious relationship when Cora was a baby, for about two years. I thought we were going to get married and be a family.”

My family. This man was going to have my family. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Megan shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother her at all. It’s a good sign. “He was a cheating *. But after him, I haven’t dated much. I didn’t want different men in and out of Cora’s life. She was so little when he left, but she knew he was gone and it sucked, a lot, to watch her look for him. After that, I decided never again.”

“Never?” Never is hard to work with. Will I get special credit because Cora is mine?

She shrugs. “I’m honestly not looking for a serious relationship right now, anyway. I’m almost done with my real estate license and we’re all saving up to move to a bigger, better place. I’m proud of the life I’ve built. I don’t need a savior.” She looks pointedly at me.

“Lucky for you, I look terrible in capes.” I smile broadly, and she sort of returns it. “I don’t want you to think I’m coming in here to steam roll over your life, Megan. I just… I just want to spend time with you.”

“Cora misses having a guy around.” Megan spins her wine glass slowly, watching the liquid churn. “My brother is like her number one, you know? The best guy in her life. But he’s been in Afghanistan for the last year, and she really misses him. It’s hard sometimes, not being able to provide that balance, but after Eddie, it’s not something I was ever going to risk again. I think it’s really great, Jamie, that you want to get to know her after meeting her. It’s great that you don’t want to run away or bury us under the table. But, we aren’t toys. Cora isn’t the newest thing to get excited with and then throw under the couch. Kids are forever.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is a family.”

“We aren’t your Shake and Bake family.” [FUN NOTE, KAYTI. MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, THE DICKFACE, LITERALLY REFERRED TO ME & CAIRO AS ADAM’S “SHAKE AND BAKE” FAMILY. BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN A PIECE OF SHIT. ANYWAY.]

Her eyes narrow and I feel my chances slipping away. “That’s not what I want to be.”

“What do you want?”

It’s my turn to pause. How do I tell her, without freaking her out, that she is the one I want? That I do want her and Cora, forever, without her thinking I’m just going to leave her? “I want a chance to give Cora what she deserves. I don’t know if Kate told you, but she spent almost the entire bus ride in my lap. I’m going to sound like either a lying * or a little crybaby, but just holding her made me want to cry. It reminded me of home, it reminded me of the life I always wanted. No, I don’t want to just step in and be an instant family. I want to earn your time, earn your trust. I want to be there the way I should have been from the beginning, if you’ll let me.”

“You barely know us,” she whispers.

“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what anyone else has tried to tell you, but I know your worth. And Cora’s. And I’m going to show it to you.”

It’s like something lit inside Megan, or unlocked. After that, we laugh through the rest of dinner. We eat an entire pizza of bacon and ham (okay, it’s like 75% me, but I have muscles to feed) and drink a whole bottle of wine. Her foot rests against my leg and we play footsies the entire time, like school kids.

I pretend my dick isn’t rock hard every time she touches me, even though it is.

I pay for dinner while she’s in the restroom, so she doesn’t have a chance to sneak a look at the check, and try to find a way to leave a stack of cash at her house for her to use for Cora without rejecting me. Maybe I need to enlist Kate, the best friend, to help.

“I hope I can borrow you for a little while longer.” We hold hands on the way out to the truck, and, simple as it is, it is one of the most romantic things I’ve done in a long, long time. “And, if I remember correctly, ice cream is one of your top five food groups.”

She stares at me, smiling, in amazement. “How do you remember these things?”

I wink at her. “Read it on Facebook.”

She laughs, I laugh, and we walk down the block to the ice cream parlor like we’ve done this our whole lives. I order a vanilla soft-serve cone and we share it on our way to the park around the corner.

Her brother is in the military. Her favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla. She drives a Jeep and wears cowboy boots. When I first moved here, I was on a quest to have the perfect American life… and I’ve found it in Megan. I just have to keep it.