Lincoln in the Bardo(6)
I am waiting to be discovered (having come to rest on the floor, head against the stove, upended chair nearby, sliver of an orange peel against my cheek), so that I may be revived, and rise, and clean up the awful mess I have made (Mother will not be pleased), and go outside, into that beautiful world, a new and more courageous man, and begin to live! Will I follow my predilection? I will! With gusto! Having come so close to losing everything, I am freed now of all fear, hesitation, and timidity, and, once revived, intend to devoutly wander the earth, imbibing, smelling, sampling, loving whomever I please; touching, tasting, standing very still among the beautiful things of this world, such as, for example: a sleeping dog dream-kicking in a tree-shade triangle; a sugar pyramid upon a blackwood tabletop being rearranged grain-by-grain by an indiscernible draft; a cloud passing ship-like above a rounded green hill, atop which a line of colored shirts energetically dance in the wind, while down below in town, a purple-blue day unfolds (the muse of spring incarnate), each moist-grassed, flower-pierced yard gone positively mad with— roger bevins iii
Friend.
Bevins.
hans vollman
“Bevins” had several sets of eyes All darting to and fro Several noses All sniffing His hands (he had multiple sets of hands, or else his hands were so quick they seemed to be many) struck this way and that, picking things up, bringing them to his face with a most inquisitive Little bit scary In telling his story he had grown so many extra eyes and noses and hands that his body all but vanished Eyes like grapes on a vine Hands feeling the eyes Noses smelling the hands Slashes on every one of the wrists.
willie lincoln
The newcomer sat on the roof of his sick-house, staring down in wonder at Mr. Bevins.
hans vollman
Occasionally stealing an amazed glance over at you, sir. At your considerable— roger bevins iii
Come now, no need to speak of— hans vollman
The other man (the one hit by a beam) Quite naked Member swollen to the size of Could not take my eyes off It bounced as he Body like a dumpling Broad flat nose like a sheep’s Quite naked indeed Awful dent in the head How could he walk around and talk with such a nasty— willie lincoln
Presently we found ourselves joined by the Reverend Everly Thomas.
hans vollman
Who arrived, as he always arrives, at a hobbling sprint, eyebrows arched high, looking behind himself anxiously, hair sticking straight up, mouth in a perfect O of terror. And yet spoke, as he always speaks, with the utmost calmness and good sense.
roger bevins iii
A newcomer? said the Reverend.
I believe we have the honor of addressing a Mr. Carroll, Mr. Bevins said.
The lad only looked at us blankly.
hans vollman
The newcomer was a boy of some ten or eleven years. A handsome little fellow, blinking and gazing cautiously about him.
the reverend everly thomas
Resembling a fish who, having washed ashore, lies immobile and alert, acutely aware of its vulnerability.
hans vollman
Putting me in mind of a nephew of mine who had once fallen through the ice of the river and come home chilled to the bone. Fearful of his punishment, he had not the nerve to step inside; I found him leaning against the door for what warmth he could gain in that way, stunned, guilty, nearly insensate with cold.
roger bevins iii
No doubt you are feeling a certain pull? Mr. Vollman said. An urge? To go? Somewhere? More comfortable?
I feel I am to wait, the boy said.
It speaks! said Mr. Bevins.
the reverend everly thomas
Wait for what? Mr. Sheep-Dumpling said.
My mother, I said. My father. They will come shortly. To collect me Mr. Sheep-Dumpling shook his head sadly His member also shook Sadly They may come, said the many-eyed man. But I doubt they will collect you.
Then all three laughed With much clapping of the many-eyed man’s many hands And waggling of Mr. Sheep-Dumpling’s swollen member Even the Reverend laughed Though, laughing, he still looked frightened In any event, they will not stay long, said Mr. Sheep-Dumpling.
All the while wishing themselves elsewhere, said the many-eyed man.
Thinking only of lunch, said the Reverend.
It is soon to be spring The Christmas toys barely played with I have a glass soldier whose head can turn The epaulettes interchangeable Soon flowers will bloom Lawrence from the garden shed will give us each a cup of seeds I am to wait I said willie lincoln
X.
I shot Mr. Bevins a look.
hans vollman These young ones are not meant to tarry.
roger bevins iii Matthison, Aged Nine Years? Tarried less than thirty minutes. Then dispersed with a small fartlike pop. Dwyer, 6 yrs & 5 mos? Was not in the sick-box upon its arrival. Had apparently vacated in transit. Sullivan, Infant, tarried twelve or thirteen minutes, a crawling squalling ball of frustrated light. Russo, Taken in Her Sixth Year, & Light of a Mother’s Eye? Tarried a mere four minutes. Looking behind stone after stone. “I am investigating after my schoolbook.”
hans vollman Poor dear.
the reverend everly thomas The Evans twins, Departed This Sorry Vale Together at 15 Years, 8 Months, tarried nine minutes, then left at precisely the same instant (twins to the end). Percival Strout, Aged Seventeen Years, tarried forty minutes. Sally Burgess, 12 Years & Dear to All, tarried seventeen minutes.
hans vollman
Belinda French, Baby. Remember her?
roger bevins iii The size of a loaf of bread, and just lay there, giving off a dull white light and that high-pitched keening.