Lincoln in the Bardo(50)
How exactly would we say it? inquired Mr. Kane.
We aren’t exactly “kings of words”! said Mr. Fuller.
Tell them that we work to save a boy, Mr. Vollman said. Whose only sin is that he is a child, and the architect of this place has, for reasons we cannot know, deemed that, to be a child and to love one’s life enough to desire to stay here is, in this place, a terrible sin, worthy of the most severe punishment.
Tell them we are tired of being nothing, and doing nothing, and mattering not at all to anyone, and living in a state of constant fear, the Reverend said.
Not sure we can remember all that, said Mr. Kane.
Sounds like quite a commitment, said Mr. Fuller.
We’ll defer to Mr. Lippert, said Mr. Kane. As he is senior among us.
roger bevins iii
Although, in Truth, we Three were all of the same age, each of us having come to this Place in the midst of his twenty-eighth Year (unloved & unwed, as of yet), I was indeed, technically, the Ranking member of our little Party, having been here first (& Lonely) for near nine years, at which time I had been Joined by Mr. Kane (deliver’d here by the untimely occasion of an Indian Lance piercing him in the buttocks), after which Mr. Kane and I became an Inseparable Duo, for nearly eleven years, at which time that Young Cub, Mr. Fuller, having made an ill-advised drunken Leap off a Delaware silo, completed our Trio.
And it seemed to me, having given it my Consideration, that it was not in our best Interest to get involved, for this Affair had nothing to do with us, & might Threaten our very Freedom, & burden us with Noxious Obligations, & constrain us in our Endeavor of doing, at all times, Exactly what we Liked, & might even exert a Deleterious Effect upon our ability to Stay.
Terribly sorry, I shouted down. We do not wish to, and, therefore, shall not!
stanley “perfesser” lippert The hats the Bachelors sent down now were bowlers: black, somber, funereal, as if, for all their habitual levity, they understood the gravity of the moment and, though they had no intention of lingering, regretted not being more helpful.
the reverend everly thomas But their sadness did not last long.
hans vollman
They sought love (or so they told themselves); and hence must always be in motion: hopeful, jocular, animated, continually looking and seeking.
roger bevins iii
Seeking any new arrival, or old arrival overlooked, whose unprecedented loveliness might justify the forfeiture of their prized freedom.
the reverend everly thomas So off they went.
hans vollman
“Perfesser” Lippert in the lead, we embarked on a merry chase across the premises.
gene “rascal” kane
Flying low over hills and paths, proceeding at speed through sick-houses and sheds and trees and even a deer of that other realm.
jack “malarkey” fuller
Who, startled at our nearly simultaneous entry and exit, reared up, as if bee-stung.
gene “rascal” kane
LXXIX.
In discouragement, individuals began to abandon Mr. Lincoln.
roger bevins iii
Bundling themselves into fetal balls, and tumbling out.
hans vollman
Vaulting out, with gymnastic flair.
roger bevins iii
Or simply slowing slightly, allowing the President to walk out of them.
hans vollman
Each fell prostrate upon the trail, moaning with disappointment.
the reverend everly thomas
It had all been a flim-flam.
roger bevins iii
A chimera.
the reverend everly thomas
Mere wishful thinking.
roger bevins iii
Finally, passing J. L. Bagg, He Lives Now Forever in the Light, even we three dropped out.
hans vollman
First Bevins, then Vollman, then I.
the reverend everly thomas
Falling out in sequence along the path, near the Muir memorial.
hans vollman
(A cluster of angels, fussing over twin boys in sailor garb, who lay side by side on a slab.) roger bevins iii
(Felix and Leroy Muir.
Perished at Sea.) the reverend everly thomas
(It was not well-done. It appeared the angels meant to operate on the young sailors. But were confused as to how to begin.) hans vollman
(Also, for some reason, a pair of oars lay upon the operating table.) roger bevins iii
Only then did we remember the lad, and what he must now be enduring.
hans vollman
And roused ourselves, despite our weariness, and started back.
roger bevins iii
LXXX.
And though that mass co-habitation had jarred much loose from me (a nagging, hazy mental cloud of details from my life now hung about me: names, faces, mysterious foyers, the smells of long-ago meals; carpet patterns from I knew not what house, distinctive pieces of cutlery, a toy horse with one ear missing, the realization that my wife’s name had been Emily), it had not delivered the essential truth I sought, as to why I had been damned. I halted on the trail, lagging behind, desperate to bring that cloud into focus and recall who I had been, and what evil I had done, but was not successful in this, and then had to hurry to catch my friends up.
the reverend everly thomas
LXXXI.
The lad lay collapsed on the floor of the white stone home, cocooned to the neck in a carapace that appeared fully concretized.