Lifeblood (Everlife #2)(8)
Am I a fool?
And did I really just think the word Troikans rather than we? I sigh. I’m part of the family, even if I feel alone.
Not that feelings are reliable. Feelings rarely provide a realistic picture, and often lead to destruction. I have to act on my heart-knowledge: what the heart understands, even if the mind—or logic—doesn’t.
Hello, spiritual law. With Sloan, I acted on my feelings. What I dished, I’m now eating. Today’s chef is Deacon.
Ann-nn-nd my shoulders roll in a little more. If left unchecked, my feelings can be a weapon more dangerous than a gun or a knife. They can send me sprinting down the wrong path and put me in the wrong place at the wrong time. They can hold me in darkness, blinding me to Light. They can make me soar one moment, and send me crashing the next. I must rise above. Must do what’s right even when everything around me is wrong.
I won’t forget again.
Deacon waves at the waterfall. “This is the Veil of Wings. The only way into Troika. Troikans can pass through without worry. If a Myriadian tries, he will burn to ash.”
Tremors shake me. Message received. If I attempt to bring Killian inside, I’ll kill him.
The weight of my decision to stand with one realm and rise against the other...to put everything I have, everything I am, into a single cause...to abandon the boy willing to kill for me, even willing to die for me...suddenly assails me. Panic crawls from the ashes of my despair, and slays my calm.
I try to distract myself with a poem.
Happiness is not obtainable
And I will never believe that
Love and Light will lead the way
Again and again, I’ve been shown that
Pain and darkness always win
It is a lie that
Happiness and joy are a choice
The truth is
There’s no way out of the abyss.
I will never be convinced that
“Something better this way comes.”
“You just have to fight the good fight.”
Actually
I will say—
“Even worse is on the way.”
Because there’s no way that
We can escape the abyss.
So depressing! I flip the script and repeat the poem, starting at the bottom and working my way up. A new ray of hope dawns.
I cling to it. Right now, it’s all I have.
“See the mist billowing from the waterfall?” Deacon asks. “It’s part of the Veil and wraps around the entire realm. There’s nowhere a Myriadian can safely enter.” He marches across the bridge, never once glancing back to ensure I follow.
Resigned, I trail after him. Time to see my eternal home. Time to meet the people I’ll be sharing an Everlife with. My new family. The ones I’ll be fighting to protect.
But a single question haunts me as I step underneath the spray of water.
I picked them...but what if they don’t pick me?
MYRIAD
* * *
From: K_F_5/23.53.6
To: R_O_3/2.17.12
Subject: I’ll go ahead and pat myself on the back Consider Tenley Lockwood bagged and tagged. She trusts me implicitly, and she wants to be with me. Maybe she already regrets her covenant with Troika. The problem is, she’s going to spend the next year holed up inside Troika, training. That is twelve months—or fifty-two weeks—before she’s sent to the Land of the Harvest on assignment. Twelve months I won’t get to see her or talk to her. Fifty-two weeks I won’t get to “work my magic,” as you like to say.
How am I supposed to convince her to spy for us? Unless…can you trick Troika into sending her on assignment sooner?
Never mind. My apologies for suggesting the impossible. I’ll work my magic in a year, as promised.
Might Equals Right!
ML, Killian Flynn
MYRIAD
* * *
From: R_O_3/2.17.12
To: K_F_5/23.53.6
Subject: Never doubt me I’m a General, Mr. Flynn. The best of the best. I can do anything. Mark my words: you will see Miss Lockwood sooner rather than later. I’ll make sure of it.
In the meantime, you’ll be training our newest recruit. Miss Aubuchon strikes me as resourceful young woman, willing to go the extra mile to get a job done.
Also, you’ve been assigned to a new Leader. Report your progress with Miss Aubuchon to Sir Zhi Chen. Report your progress with Miss Lockwood to us both.
Might Equals Right!
General Rosalind Oriana
MYRIAD
* * *
From: K_F_5/23.53.6
To: R_O_3/2.17.12
Subject: Is that a tear in my eye?
Thank you for gifting me with such an honor. I foresee zero problems training Sloan, the girl I just murdered. (Let me know if I need to explain sarcasm to you.) Elena and Charles are my Flankers/trainees. Adding a third is overkill, don’t you think?
Considering my recent successes, I have a favor to ask you. Before Madame Pearl Bennett died, she visited the Hall of Records to discover who is Fused with my mother, and where the girl is living in the Land of the Harvest. Will you look into Madame Bennett’s notes? I’d be grateful.
I’m sure I’ll do a better job with Miss Lockwood if I’m focused on her, and only her.