Lethal Temptations (Tempted #5)(42)

“That was your f*cking plan, not mine. You and Bianci came and told me we would feed Jimmy the drugs, set him up and get his ass sent to prison. We sat down with Vic and he gave his word, once we delivered Jimmy he’d end that miserable f*ck’s life and then make it his mission to get the G-Man. I didn’t believe it but the man f*cking swore on the bible, thought that shit counted for something,” I sneered.

‘That’s still the plan,” Jack said, calmly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to decide if he was f*cking with me or not. One minute he’s talking about cleaning up the streets and ridding the world of scumbags like the G-Man and Jimmy ourselves and the next he’s talking about handing them over to the mob on a silver platter.

“So what the f*ck you busting my balls about then?” I grunted.

“You think Jimmy didn’t have a crew in place, the motherf*cker was working with the G-Man. You don’t think that man will send someone to retaliate against the men who took his dealer off the streets?”

I watched as Jack cracked his knuckles.

“I’m not f*cking worried about Sun Wu, Black, it’s every goddamn pusher the G-Man has working from inside the prison he’s rotting in, to outside these four walls. We don’t have Vic anymore to aide in the clean-up this shit is all on us. His job is to eliminate the scumbags inside with him,” he pinned me with a stare. “It’s only a matter of time before these f*cking streets becomes a war zone. I will say it once, and only once, you need to get your f*cking act together and be the f*cking man I know you are. If that means you taking time to go get clean, then that’s what you do because when mayhem comes I need you,” he rasped, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Appreciate the concern,” I ground out. “I’ll handle my shit. You don’t have to worry about me becoming a liability to the club,” I added.

“Oh f*ck that,” he growled. “You think that’s why I’m here asking you to get well? Fuck liabilities. Everyone in this club thought I’d be a liability because of my mind, because I got some shit disorder that f*cks with me, but you never gave me lip for it. Your confidence in my ability to run our club never shifted. I’m not here telling you to clean up because I’m worried you won’t f*cking do your job. I know you Black, been your brother for years, you function better on any goddamn poison than you do when your levelheaded. I’m telling you get your ass off the drugs because I don’t want to put your ass in the dirt. Now, I just buried a brother, a real f*cking brother, who never had my back the way you’ve had my back and that stung but digging a hole for you will f*cking make me bleed.”

I looked away as his words echoed in my ears.

His plea should’ve made me proud of my duty served as his vice president but his words fell flat for me. I didn’t need his approval as the president of our club, I knew I had that, that I had earned his respect in that aspect. But hearing him beg me to turn my life around so I can do my job made me feel some kind of way, made me feel something I wasn’t used to feeling.

Remorse and not for anyone other than myself.

I’m the man at his left, the self-destructing cowboy who will help him destroy any and all enemies. I’m his soldier, the man he relies on in our corrupt world of crime. He has faith in me when it comes to my job, when it comes to a promise I made my dead wife, but that’s where it ends. Jack didn’t think I could be a better man, he knew what I was, what I’d always be and that wasn’t the kind of guy he’d ever want for Lacey. I could go on protecting her, doing my job as his second, but claiming her? Making her more than just a duty, turning my f*cked up life around to be better for her? That shit could never be.

I’m Blackie, Satan’s knight and that’s all I’ll ever be.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, finally. “You might not be concerned about the Red Dragons but I am. They’ll figure out we were responsible for the drugs, mark my words, and we’re going to need to be ready. On top of that, we fell through on our deal with the Corrupt Bastards, they’re not going to take what happened with Jimmy as an excuse for why they’re sitting with a quarter million dollars’ worth of drugs in their laps. I need to get the f*ck out of here and smooth shit over with them before they think we were looking to f*ck them all along. I will keep on with the methadone until things calm down for the club. The doctor mentioned a clinic, and when the time is right, when I know you don’t need me front and center I’ll kick the methadone on my own. No rehab. I did it once I can do it again,” I assured him.

I diverted my eyes back to his as he nodded in agreement.

“Now, get your ass f*cking strong because it’s going to be a wild ride,” he asserted, starting for the door. He paused, turning around and looking at me thoughtfully.

“My girl grew some kind of attachment to your ass,” he muttered.

I sighed, dropping my head against the pillows.

“Well, we faced f*cking death together,” I ground out, staring up at the ceiling. “From what I remember, Reina held her own. That woman of yours gave Jimmy one hell of a fight,” I informed him.

“Wasn’t talking about Reina,” he said, turning back and striding out the door without another word.

Yeah, I grew an attachment to her too.

Fuck me.