Lethal Temptations (Tempted #5)(25)

The one I vowed to love, honor, and care for all the days of my life.

Until death do we part.

Until now.

I bent my head, closing my mouth around the needle and pulled it from her arm with my teeth, spitting it onto the floor.

My needle.

My product.

I untied the band from her arm before leaning back against the wall of the tub and cried.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her, leaning forward to kiss her ice cold lips.

I woke, thrashing violently as the nausea worked me over and I vomited.

“Blackie, look at me,” Reina pleaded.

So this isn’t hell.

I’m still f*cking here.

“Look at me, damn it,” she ordered.

There was nothing left, yet still I felt like I needed to get something up. I dry heaved over and over until my body calmed down and I could turn my cheek, wiping my mouth against the leather that covered my shoulder.

I lifted my beady eyes to Reina’s.

“You’re okay, you just need to remind yourself you’re okay,” she said, softly.

I closed my eyes.

I was okay.

But why?

Why me and not her?

I opened my eyes, blinking as I focused my attention on Reina.

“I’m not a junkie,” I whispered.

People can change whether it’s a choice or a result of circumstance… it’s possible. Picking out a grave, figuring out the words to carve into my wife’s headstone, deciding what she would wear when she was laid to rest, those were the things that forced me to change. I did the detox thing, suffered the withdrawals, thought, I was dying, prayed for it... but it never came. God didn’t spare me and take her. He made me the survivor but he didn’t grant me any favors. He knew the game he was playing when he took her and left me here. He spared her from me, granted her peace, leaving me behind to suffer without her.

Life.

It was his revenge on me.

Live.

Breathe.

A burden bestowed on me from the almighty maker of heaven and earth. Life wasn’t some divine gift, it was my punishment.

“I know,” she said. “Why is he doing this to you?”

“Because I deserve it,” I admitted, turning back to her.

Jack will lose it if anything happens to her. He deserves some kind of good after all that shit he suffered. Losing your mind is one thing but losing your child is a whole different story. That man lived a lot of life, did a lot of penance and finally was granted his divine gift and I was staring at her. I wanted to do my job, to be able to protect the club, and protecting the club meant protecting its property and Reina? She was property of Parrish but reality set in and it settled fast. I didn’t have the strength to save her in the state I was in right now. I didn’t know much about her but I knew enough to know she was a fighter.

A survivor.

Her own hero.

“Listen, Reina, you need to keep your head because as long as he keeps feeding me that shit, I’m useless. Jack’s on to him so it’s only a matter of time before he and the club gets to you.”

“To us,” she amended. “He will not leave you behind, you’re the closest thing he has to a brother. A real brother,” she added.

Brothers.

“Right,” I replied, closing my eyes. “Reina, do me a favor?”

“I’m kind of tied up right now,” she said, forcing a laugh.

I smiled slightly before the wave of nausea washed over me again.

“Oh God,” I moaned. “I need to throw up,” I mumbled, hanging my head waiting for it to pass.

“Blackie, focus, if you let that shit control you, then the poison wins,” Reina pleaded, pausing for a moment before she began again. “Tell me your real name. Blackie is your club name, right?”

“Road name,” I corrected.

“Cut me some slack, I’m new to the old lady status,” she said, her voice cracking. “Tell me your name,” she repeated.

“Dominic,” I whispered.

“Dominic,” she started. “I like Blackie, better,” she conceded.

“You’re good people, Reina,” I said.

Why was it the good always finished last?

“We will get the f*ck out of here,” I declared, clearing my throat. The way I figure it, God’s not going to let me die here, under this dickbag Jimmy’s thumb. He wants me breathing, he keeps me suffering so, Reina, has a fair shot of surviving this shit.

“Jimmy blew up my truck,” I informed her.

Keep talking…Keep fighting.

“After I dropped you off I made a stop, must be when he planted the bomb,” I added.

Lacey.

I hope they left her alone. I pray to whatever God willing to hear me that she listened when I told her to stay put.

“You don’t think he planted it while I had the truck?” she questioned.

“Jack’s house is covered with cameras, anyone watches him, and it’s obvious Jimmy’s been watching us, wouldn’t be stupid enough to plant a bomb with the camera rolling,” I explained.

“So where did you go?” she asked.

It almost slipped off my tongue.

Lace.

Her.

My angel.

My light.

“We being real with one another?” I asked.