Leaping Hearts(51)

“Do you honestly think we’re going to be able to deny ourselves now that we know what it’s like? I don’t know about you, but I doubt I’m that strong.”

A.J. refused to answer him because she knew he was right. There was no way they could go back.

But because of their predicament, she glared at him. “Right now, McCloud, I’m not sure I can be with you at all. I’m pretty damn close to hating you.”

“Hatred is the flip side of love.”

“Then I must be falling hard because all I want to do is scream at you right now.”

“You’ve got to understand, I’m only doing this because I want to give us a chance. We have something really rare here. I just don’t want to lose it.”

A frustrated breath escaped her. “Why can’t we at least try?”

“A.J., be reasonable—”

“You sound like my father. Be sensible. Be serious. Well, I think I am. You’ve spent almost a month with Sabbath and me and look at how far we’ve come. You know my riding style. You know the stallion’s faults and strengths. You’re sure as hell the best damn trainer I’ve ever had. That horse and I have a shot at the big time but we can’t go it alone. And we can’t go it without you.”

He looked away.

“Devlin, admit it. You want to train us as much as I want you to. You know you’re making a difference and you like being back in competition. After a year on the sidelines, you’re feeling that excitement again. I’ve seen it on your face. Can you really walk away from that? What are you going to feel like at the rail while someone else is in the ring with Sabbath and me?”

She watched his face closely. On the surface he seemed composed but she’d learned to read him well.

“Not a great position to be in, is it?” she prompted. “Having to choose between us and the work?”

A.J. fell silent as he mulled their situation over.

Devlin was caught and he knew it. He’d focused only on getting another trainer to work with the stallion. Taking himself out of the picture hadn’t seemed like a big deal, but then, he’d never really considered what it would be like watching someone else put A.J. and Sabbath through their workouts. Would someone else recognize when they needed a break? When they needed to be pushed? Would they understand how A.J. needed to talk through a course sometimes three or four times until she was completely comfortable with where she needed to be?

Would someone else care as much as he did?

And, even assuming he wouldn’t be at his most objective, was there anyone else who could do as good a job with them as he could?

When his eyes shifted back to hers, he realized there wasn’t anyone else he could trust to take care of them.

Devlin swore out loud. When it didn’t make him feel much better, he tried it again.

“I’d say that just about sums it up,” A.J. said, feeling a little better. Given his sour expression and raunchy vocabulary, she could tell he was coming around. Now was the time to push.

“I’ll tell you what,” she said softly. “We’ll try it for a week or so. See how we both feel. If we think it’s not working, we can do it your way.”

She sidled up to him, relieved when he let her put her arms around his waist.

Devlin snorted. “Are you trying to charm me with your feminine wiles?”

“If it’ll get me what I want, absolutely.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“How do you know? There’ve been plenty of people who have mixed business and pleasure and had it work out.”

“Yeah, like who?”

“George Burns and Gracie Allen. The Captain and Tennille.”

“How about a pair from this century?”

“Bill and Hillary.”

“I don’t know that I’d count them necessarily.”

She reached up and touched his face tenderly. “This is going to work out. You’ll see.”

“I just don’t want to lose you,” he told her.

Despite the stress of the argument, they were able to go down to the stables with a united front. Devlin wasn’t completely comfortable with their decision but he wasn’t going to back out. If it became apparent he couldn’t train them, he had to have faith he’d be able to let them go to someone else and that she’d have the sense to move on to another coach.

The day’s work went predictably, with small steps toward improvement. Sabbath was feeling energetic, so the session went longer than usual and both A.J. and Devlin were pretty pleased with the results. Afterward, she and Chester went through their ritual of putting Sabbath down and feeding him while Devlin reviewed his notes and planned the next day’s jump course. It was a day like any other except the turmoil over breakfast lingered.

A.J. was leaning against Sabbath’s stall, and watching his muzzle search out the last of the sweet feed in his bucket, when she felt exhaustion come over her. She decided the last twenty-four hours had been like drinking from a glass you expected to be full of water but turned out to be holding vodka. A big ol’ burning surprise.

Although she was encouraged by Devlin’s agreement to continue training her, she’d experienced firsthand one of his concerns. In the ring, she felt the heat between them flare every time he looked at her. Every glance between them was a history book of images to relish. A promise of what lay ahead as soon as they were alone together. Questions asked and answered without words. And the powerful undercurrents made the unremarkable seem sublime, took simple nods and turned them into vows, elevated a conversation about striding counts to a plane it had never been on before.