Leaping Hearts(30)

At least she was sleeping now, he thought, remembering how he’d spent the night propped up against his headboard, staring off into space. Thinking about them.

Still baffled by his own murky motivations, he couldn’t explain why he’d reached for her. Well, he knew why on one level and that level was rising again as he recalled how she’d felt against him. What he didn’t understand, and couldn’t really forgive, was why he’d given in to his desire after they’d both agreed their relationship would be only a professional one. Blaming his lapse on coming out of the familiar nightmare didn’t really hold water. He hadn’t been thinking about the past when he’d pulled her to him. He’d been very much in the present.

And look what his impulse had gotten him. Another regret, something else he wished he could undo. It wasn’t that he mourned for one instant the feel of her under him. Hell, he’d keep that with him until the day they put him in the ground.

What bothered him was the look on her face as she’d turned to go. It was too full of embarrassment and shame for him to stomach. He was the one who should have to bear that burden, not she. He was the one who’d put their working relationship on a level it shouldn’t be on. He’d kissed her first. He was the one who’d pushed the boundaries. Several times.

A.J. stirred and he retreated to the kitchen, going straight to the phone. He felt the need to do something reasonable, to make a difference that made some sense. Even though it was just past five o’clock, he dialed a familiar number.

“Yup,” came the voice on the other end.

“Chester, it’s me.”

“Yup.”

“You want to come back?”

“Yup.”

“Half hour?”

“Yup.”

Devlin hung up.

Now, that was what he called a good working relationship. Clear, concise communication. No complications.

He frowned.

But then, maybe it was easy because he had no desire to see Chester Raymond coming out of his bathtub.

Moving around the kitchen stiffly as his leg loosened up, Devlin made the coffee, got out three mugs and was cutting thick slices of whole-grain bread for toasting when Chester came through the front door. There was no need for a knock. They’d lost that formality years before.

Devlin watched as his friend halted and looked over the sleeping figure on the couch.

Chester Raymond was almost seventy, as gnarled and lean as an ancient birch tree, and tough as a northland winter. He was also a man who took surprises in his stride.

“Mornin’,” he said, after he marched into the kitchen. He took off his battered baseball cap, revealing tufts of white hair over a face that had years of hard labor etched in it. When he cracked a smile, which was often, he looked like his skin was too big for his head.

“Mornin’,” Devlin replied as he filled up a mug and put it down in front of the chair the man always sat in. “Thanks for coming.”

“Glad to. What’s on your couch?”

“I’ll introduce you when she wakes up.”

“She?”

Devlin nodded.

“Does this she have something to do with what’s down in your barn? I heard some whinnies when I pulled up, so I took a look.”

“Uh-huh. You want breakfast?”

“Sure do.” Chester knew not to push. The story would come out eventually and he was a man who bided his time.

Immediately, they fell back into their old pattern. The groom took his seat at the table and stirred three heaping spoons of sugar into his mug while Devlin got out a bowl and filled it with two measured cups of cereal, one tablespoon of peanut butter and just enough milk to cover it all. Chester had been eating the same breakfast for fifty years. Maintained it gave him a youthful glow.

Devlin put the bowl in front of the man and sat down with his own mug. “Why do I think I’m the only one who’s surprised we’re back having breakfast together?”

Chester shrugged, digging in. “A’cause y’re the only one.”

A ghost of a smile played across Devlin’s face. “You always were unflappable.”

“No, just more easygoin’ than you. You been wound tight since the day I met’cha. Always a fighter, even when things are going your way.”

“It’s been a while since things have gone my way.”

“Not true. Ya just can’t see where y’re going next right now.”

There was a long silence as the phantoms of the previous year danced on the table between them.

“So, it’s been a while,” Chester said between mouthfuls. “How’re ya doin’?”

“I’m getting by.”

“Saw the jumps set up in the ring.”

“They’re not for me.”

“Didn’t think so.”

“I’m finished competing and, even if I could ride, I don’t know…. Losing Mercy was just too awful.”

“Don’t I know it. Missin’ her myself. But things, they come into a life an’ they go out an’ that’s the way it works. You can’t hold yourself back because it hurts. What ya need to be doin’ now is looking for what’s come to take her place.”

With that, A.J. walked into the kitchen. And Devlin thought he was going to choke on the symbolism.