Laura's Second Chance (Widows of Virginia Book #2)(10)

He raised his brows at her. “Are you sure, Ma’am?”

Laura nodded and sent him on his way. She went back inside, changed into something more appropriate and examined herself in the mirror. A simple prairie dress was all she had left in her cabinet – all her other dresses were either dirty or being washed.

After a quick readjustment of her hair Laura walked over to the main house and headed straight to Robert’s office. She knocked a couple of times before Robert invited her in.

“Robert,” she said in a quiet voice.

“Laura?” Robert rose from his seat to greet her. “I’m really sorry about earlier.”

She took a deep breath. “Robert, we need to talk.”

The man visibly gulped. To his credit, he merely nodded and invited her to take a seat.

“I know about this…” She gestured to the pile of papers he had pushed to the side as she sat down.

From his expression, Laura realized he dreaded the conversation about to happen. He didn’t even ask how she knew.

“You saw the bank statements?”

When she nodded but didn’t say a word, he continued, “I’m broke, Laura. Totally broke. I spent all the loaned money to save the farm.”

Her lips trembled. It was one thing to know of the debt, but another to hear Robert say it. The words hung heavy in the air.

“How did it come to this?” she asked. “Didn’t your family own a huge and prosperous estate?”

“My father, as a result of his extravagant travels, frittered away the family fortune. When he died, I tried to salvage as much as I could.” He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. “The farm - it’s the only property aside from the house that I was able to keep. The rest had to be sold or used as collateral.”

He sighed, then turned to Laura, his hands shaking as he gestured. “I was struggling and desperate to solve the financial crisis. I wanted to give up, leave everything behind. But then I received a letter from you. You can’t possibly imagine the happiness it brought me.”

Laura blushed. Robert’s letters helped her cope following Anton’s death. It was a comfort to know that her letters had given him similar hope.

“I said to myself, this is it. I can’t let this chance pass. I can’t let you go again. So I applied for another loan with the intention of reviving the farm to rehabilitate it in some way. Then I came to see you, with high hopes.”

He got up from behind his desk, walked up to her, kneeled down and grasped her hand.

“I can’t lose you again, it would be the death of me. My feelings for you never ceased. But I knew you loved Anton. When you married, I thought all my hope for happiness was lost.”

He leaned down, with both of his hands clasping her shivering one. Laura couldn’t breathe.

“I’m so sorry” he said. Tears cascaded down his face, warming Laura’s hand. “You deserve more than this. I cannot bind you to a future full of such uncertainty.”

“Oh, Robert.” Laura caressed his cheek. “I won’t leave you. You were there for me when I needed someone. I will not abandon you now.”

And as soon as she said it, Laura knew it was true. She couldn’t leave him now. Not ever.

*

After the fire, Robert would often stare at nothing in particular. He would sit silently outside the barn, looking at the charred earth. It broke her heart to see him falling apart.

“Robert,” she called.

He glanced up at her, gave a wan smile and patted the space next to him. Laura sat down.

The long stretch of the dirt road overlooked the plentiful trees and farmlands of their closest neighbor. She wondered what he was thinking about. Was he feeling guilty for his father’s transgressions that led to his family’s downfall? Was he thinking about his own drinking that had likely contributed to the situation? She’d like to think he was dreaming of a solution to the problems.

“Talk to me,” she said softly, looking at the landscape.

“About what?” He cracked his knuckles.

“Anything…” She looked at him. “Do you know how the fire started?”

“A lantern… I don’t know the details yet.”

Robert bowed his head down as he drew one deep breath. It sounded like he was about to break down.

“Are you going to be all right?”

He didn’t answer for a while.

“I don’t know…” he finally said. “I can’t think clearly these days. All these problems – the debt, the money, the people I am responsible for – I have to resolve this somehow...”

Laura didn’t say anything, she just let him pour out his worries.

“And then,” he looked at her with defeat in his eyes. “And then I think about you. About bringing you into a household with no future.”

Laura wanted to look away and put her own head in her hands, but she had to be strong for him. Like he had been strong for her.

“I wanted to give up,” he continued. “But every time I saw you walking around the house, the garden or out in the fields, I felt ashamed and disappointed.”

Laura forced a small smile. “You need not worry about me. I’m stronger than I look. You can lean on me for support.”

“No.” He shook his head. "Didn’t I say I would help you move on, completely recover from your loss?” He grabbed his own head. “But look at me, Laura! I’m a failure in all respects. I lied to you, I can’t fulfill my promise.”