Last Wish (Highland Magic #4)(69)

‘I’ve got it!’ Shite. ‘I mean, I do trust you. I just … forgot to tell you about the Foinse, that’s all.’

‘That’s fine.’ He stepped away.

Feeling hot and bothered, I rubbed my neck. I had completely lost track of what was going on. It was just as well that Bob took that moment to harangue us. He flashed into the room with a disdainful glance. ‘You’ll be relieved to know that we’re safe. The Sidhe are no longer trying to pursue us.’ He sniffed loudly. ‘You’re welcome.’

‘Thank you, Bob.’

He zipped up to Byron. ‘I didn’t hear anything from you.’ He wiggled his earlobe. ‘I know you’re broke but manners cost nothing.’

‘Thank you, Bob.’

‘Well,’ the genie demurred, ‘okay then.’ He flew down, hovering at the edge of Byron’s kilt. ‘What do Scotsmen wear under these things? I’ve always wondered…’

Byron grabbed him before he could take a peek. ‘Manners cost nothing,’ he reminded him.

Bob pouted. ‘Yeah, yeah.’ He looked over his shoulder at me. ‘I should tell you that Tipsy is throwing a tantrum up on the deck. Fergus, May and Candy are trying to calm her down but they’re not having much luck.’

I pressed the base of my palms against my temples. ‘Okay,’ I said, ‘okay.’

***

Bob hadn’t been kidding about the tantrum part. Tipsania was marching up and down the slick boards, picking up everything that wasn’t nailed down and throwing it away. ‘I will wring his neck. I will pull out his fingernails one by one.’ She grabbed a lifebelt and hurled it into the grey, churning sea. Mm. We might need those.

Candy stood to one side. ‘It’s better to let her run out of steam,’ he advised.

‘Steam?’ Tipsania shrieked. ‘I’ll show you steam. I will ram a steaming hot poker right up his arse. Then you’ll see steam.’

May shuffled up, Fergus following with a large golf umbrella in a bid to shield from the sun. ‘Ip. Ee!’ she squeaked.

‘Not now, May!’

Byron said, ‘That’s a Fomori demon.’

Ah. ‘Yes. Yes, it is. She’s nice, though. Honest.’

‘If it takes until the end of time, Integrity,’ he reminded me.

‘I wasn’t keeping her a secret! She just never came up!’

He obviously didn’t believe me. I gave up and focused on Tipsania instead. ‘What’s wrong?’

She stopped what she was doing and stared at me. ‘What’s wrong?’ she shrieked. ‘What’s bloody wrong? You imbecile! You poor excuse for a Sidhe! You white-haired cretin!’

‘I tried to warn you,’ Candy rumbled.

‘Tipsania,’ I said, trying again. ‘I know this has been tough on you. I’m really sorry about your dad. It’s important to grieve but I’m not sure this is the best way to go about it.’

She put her hands on her hips and marched up to me. ‘My dad was a wanker,’ she said icily. ‘I’m not happy he’s dead and I’m certainly not happy about how it happened but that’s not why I’m angry.’

Angry didn’t begin to cover it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d turned green and ripped her way out of her sodden wedding dress.

‘Aifric,’ she said, spitting the name out with disgust. ‘He’s not dead.’

‘No.’

‘I want to kill him. Slowly.’

Bob began to applaud. ‘Yes! You go, girl!’

Before I could say anything, Tipsania moved up until she was inches from my face. ‘Do you know what he said to me? He said that if I didn’t marry Byron, he would drag me to the altar himself and marry me. He would marry me! The nerve of the man!’ I opened my mouth but she still wasn’t finished. ‘As if I would tie myself to someone like him! And look!’ She grabbed my head and forced it down. ‘Look at what I’m wearing! It’s a monstrosity. Bows!’ she spat. ‘Nobody wears bows! I look like Cinderella. I’m not some servant playing dress up!’

Candy held up his hand like a wary school kid. ‘I think you look pretty.’

She paused for a moment. ‘You always think that! That’s not the point! My wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Now it’s ruined!’

I was confused. ‘You wanted to get married?’

‘You don’t understand anything!’

‘Tipsania,’ I said reasonably, ‘Aifric can’t touch you now. We’re well away from him. You don’t have to worry.’

She scowled at me ferociously. ‘There’s only one thing that will stop me worrying.’ She stomped over to Candy. He looked rather frightened and I wasn’t surprised. ‘I want you to know,’ she said, ‘that I am not doing this just to take myself off the market and stop Aifric from forcing me into marriage with him or Byron or anyone else who comes along. I’m doing this because I love you. Got that?’ The words flew out of her at a tremendous pace. She swallowed, smoothed her billowing dress down and forced herself to relax. Then she got down on one knee. ‘Candy Carmichael. Will you marry me? If you don’t say yes, I will cut off your bloody—’