Last Stand (The Black Mage #4)(94)

I sank to my knees by the king sprawled out across the floor. My vision blurred and my hands shook as I kneeled.

“You got w-what you w-wanted.” Darren’s chest rose and fell as he sputtered; his lips were stained with blood. “Your v-villain is dead.”

“But—”

“You fool.” Darren choked as he tried to sit up and swore, his face white as snow. Red seeped through the tunic covering his chest, bits of scarlet pooling underneath. “G-get out of h-here.”

“You saved me.” There was a blinding ache in my head. I could feel each time the casting trembled and shook. My projection was growing weaker with every second that passed, every time a bit of roof collapsed. “Why?”

How long would my magic last?

“D-didn’t save y-you.” He was struggling to breathe, and his words rattled in his chest.

Something inside of me snapped. Darren had never been in that second glacier’s path when we’d heard the explosion—he’d had no reason to cast.

Unless he’d been attempting to save me.

“Liar!”

Darren’s laugh was weak as he looked up at me. “S-so w-what if I a-am?”

It was like a blow to the ribs. I couldn’t breathe.

He swallowed.

“You h-have your a-answer.” The words were pained. “N-now g-go.”

The projection was splintering inside my head; I could feel it as every last strand snapped across space. So much of my world was awash in pain. So much of it was black.

You have your answer.

I did.

But I couldn’t leave.

I reached for the second strap at my arm. I felt the sting of cold metal as I slipped the blade from its sheath and plunged it into my bandaged hand.

Then I screamed.

I screamed as pain enveloped me whole. Needles stabbed along my spine and my mind roared out in shock. I screamed until my voice was hoarse.

Then the magic washed over me like a cloud of shadow, filling in the spaces traditional casting couldn’t hold. It kept the roof from caving in.

I kept the dagger centered as I opened my eyes. My whole body trembled, but I was already on the ground. Had I been standing, I most certainly would have collapsed.

I sucked in a sharp lungful of air, wondering how long my pain casting would hold.

“G-get out of h-here… p-please.” Darren’s voice was hoarse. My eyes flew to his, and in Darren’s… in Darren’s I saw grief.

My fingers shook violently as they brushed his wrist. “I-I can’t.”

His eyelids fluttered shut, and for a moment no one spoke.

“Y-you are g-going to die.” His face was more ashen than before.

My laugh was hollow. “I always was too reckless.”

The pain was mounting in my skull, like a bank gathering snow.

“P-perhaps they w-will… f-find y-you in t-time.”

His breaths were raspy and loud.

My fingers burrowed into his sleeve. I wanted the king to look at me. I was kneeling here on the ground, spilling blood as the last of my magic gave way to the last few minutes of our lives. I needed him to see.

Gods, if we are going to die together, I need him to see me.

I needed him to understand.

“They won’t.”

Garnet met my blurry eyes, and he swallowed.

“You’ve a-always l-loved me… d-didn’t you?”

I nodded, and something burned in the back of my throat.

“It w-was Blayne? A-all along?”

I didn’t have to ask what he meant.

“He loved you, but…” I swallowed as another wave of pain cut off the rest of my words. “…but he wasn’t the man you thought he was. Y-your father got to him too young.”

Darren turned away from me; his shoulders shook violently as he choked. He was seeing our past for what it really was.

Realizing what his actions had cost.

“Darren—”

“A-all t-that I-I’ve done…” He couldn’t look at me. “Y-you should… just l-leave m-me here to d-die.”

I shook my head violently until I realized he couldn’t see it. Tears poured down my face. “No.” My hand grasped at his wrist. “D-Darren… I…” Hysteria was mounting and making it hard to speak.

“Please l-look at me,” I begged.

His jaw twisted, and I could see the pain in every line of his face. It was worse than the pain inside my head. I saw a broken king.

“I should have t-trusted you,” I whispered. “I-if I had…” If I had, this wouldn’t have been us.

His hand trembled as he placed it on top of my own; it was icy cold.

“C-couldn’t have k-known.”

My heart was fighting its way right out of my chest. After everything, this couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be us. Anger, sorrow, guilt, and regret were rising and rising, and there was nowhere left to go.

“It’s not fair!” This wasn’t supposed to be how our story went. In fairy tales, the prince saved the girl. In mine, the princess destroyed him.

My shoulders shuddered uncontrollably, and I couldn’t stop from repeating the words. “It’s. Not. Fair.”

“N-nothing about us h-has ever been f-fair.”