Keeper(42)

There’s still so much I don’t understand.

An invisible hand wrapped around my heart and squeezed until I was sure it would break, the smiling faces of my parents as the only witnesses.

With one hand clutching at my chest, I pulled the comforter over my head, blocking out the world.





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN


“There you are.”

I turned to see Maggie walking toward me, her hands plunged into the pockets of her jeans. Her face was pale, and there were purple circles underneath her eyes, similar to my own.

“How’d you find me?”

“It wasn’t hard to guess.” Maggie shrugged. “Besides, it’s a really small town.”

I nodded as she settled beside me on the picnic table.

“Why are you here, Lainey?”

“I really don’t know,” I replied after a minute or two. I’d woken up restless from my nap and grabbed my car keys. After driving around aimlessly for a while, I’d ended up back at the cemetery. “I guess I just didn’t know where else to go. I thought maybe if I came back here, where I saw her last, that Josephine might show up. Explain a few things.”

“Has she? Shown up, I mean?”

“No. It’s been frustratingly quiet.”

“And the trees?”

“I haven’t gotten close enough to find out.”

Maggie reached over, took my hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know all of this . . . isn’t what you expected. But it’s better to know, right? The truth will set you free and all that?”

“I did want answers,” I said. “But I don’t know what to make of the ones I got. Two weeks ago, I was plain ol’ Lainey Styles, and now I’m apparently some all-powerful . . .” I couldn’t say the word out loud. “The truth about my mom and Josephine. All the lies. How am I even supposed to process it all?”

“Well, step one is to not freak out.” Maggie gave my hand another squeeze.

“Yeah, but how can I not freak out? It seems easier to completely fall apart than to accept any of this as true.”

“But it is true. What else could explain all the weird stuff that’s been happening to you?”

“I know.” I pulled away from Maggie and dropped my head in my hands. “But it shouldn’t be. I had my life all planned out, ya know? Since middle school, I’ve been killing myself to be the best at everything, to be number one. All I ever wanted to do was to get into a good school with a great science program and be on my own, have the opportunity to see and discover the world. I wanted the chance to figure out who I really am. But this?” My voice cracked. “It’s not exactly what I had in mind. . . . It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not,” Maggie agreed. “But this is your life now. This is who you are, and you can’t run away from it. You have to face it.”

My shoulders sagged. The whole story sounded too ridiculous to be real, but there was a ring of absolute truth to Serena’s words. And even stranger than that was the feeling of acquiescence that was gnawing away at me deep down—it was like being reunited with a long-lost friend or finding something valuable you didn’t even realize you had lost. It felt as though a part of me had already accepted the news of my newfound “witch” status without so much as a blink of an eye, while another part of me was convinced I had lost my mind.

It made me uncomfortable to feel so at war with myself, but I was trying not to let it show. “How are you so calm right now?” I asked Maggie. “You’re handling the news way better than I am.”

Maggie shrugged. “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to, Styles. I’m the girl who spends more time with fictional superheroes than I do with actual people, the girl who spent an entire summer learning Elvish, the girl who already believed in magic. It’s not that far-fetched for me, if you think about it. Besides, you’re my best friend and I believe in you.”

“But what if I really am a . . . witch.” The last word came out in a whisper, and I grimaced.

“Then you’ll learn to deal with it,” Maggie said. “I think you’re looking at this all wrong. You know, before he was part of the Super-Soldier Project, Steve Rogers was this puny, unimpressive guy who was more likely to break his arm playing checkers than to accomplish anything noteworthy. But then he became freaking Captain America! You get what I’m saying?”

“Um, yes?”

Maggie laughed. “God, Styles, you have got to read more comic books.” She leaned forward. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve dreamt of being bitten by a radioactive spider or finding a magical thunder hammer? I’ve spent my whole life wishing to be more than just ordinary. But I’m just me, just Maggie, and that’s probably all I’m ever going to be.” Maggie grabbed my hand again. “But you, Lainey, you get to be anything but ordinary, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

The words settled over me, wrapping around me and covering me with calm reassurance. I smiled. “You know, Mags, even if things go to hell, I’m glad to have you by my side.”

“Oh, don’t get all emotional on me now,” Maggie chided, but she was smiling too. “I’ve got your back, you know that.”