Keep Quiet(86)

The kids rode in the backseat, their heads bent over their iPhones and their ears plugged with earbuds. Ryan didn’t text at all, but listened to music, and Sabrina rehearsed her speech, whispering to herself like a nightmare voiceover, “… a tragic loss for the track team and the Concord Chase High School community as a whole…”

They stopped behind a long line of cars, plumes of exhaust floating into the air like ghosts. Jake tried to tune Sabrina out, but wasn’t succeeding. She was whispering, “… and she had so many talents and hobbies, for example, she was excellent with computer graphics and made a super-professional website for…”

They were almost at the high school, which was just around the corner. A dark van inched beside them in the right lane, and Jake looked over. Inside the van was a couple just like them, except the man was driving. A younger kid played a handheld video game in the backseat, his face wreathed in eerie green-blue light. Jake had checked every passing car to make sure it wasn’t the dark BMW, the detectives, or otherwise suspicious.

The traffic eased, and Pam steered right around the corner onto Racton Hill Road. Flashing police lights sliced through the black night, from cruisers out in force, parked on the curb. Cops grouped on the sidewalk, and Jake realized that they were just directing traffic to the high school. One motioned the cars to keep moving, waving a flashlight with an orange cone.

Jake thought of the detectives and worried if they would interview him again. Would they just drop in or call first? Did he need a lawyer? Did Ryan? Should he call Hubbard? Jake hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Pam alone yet. She would get a lawyer, probably a separate one from him and Ryan. And she’d get a divorce lawyer, too.

“We’re late,” Pam muttered under her breath.

They were only at the middle school, and Jake could see the high school ahead on the left, a long, two-story box of red brick, its continuous panels of windows ablaze with light. “Not very.”

“That’s not the point. Late is late.”

“So will everybody else be, in this traffic.”

“Again. Not the point.”

Jake let it go. He was trying to make it better, but that was impossible. They were going to the memorial service for a young girl they had killed, and they were ruined, guilty, and afraid. A corrupt family, bound by a secret crime. Bankrupt, despite the money they had. Nothing could be made better.

The traffic eased, and the car began to move forward. Pam exhaled. “Finally.”

Jake didn’t say anything. He could hear Sabrina whispering, like a prayer, “… Kathleen was an extreme loss for the Concord Chase High School community in its entirety…”

“How’d your Western Civ make-up go, Ryan?” Pam asked, tilting her mouth up as if she were talking to the rearview mirror.

“Fine,” Ryan answered, after a moment.

“How do you think you did?”

“Fine.”

“Really?” Pam arched an eyebrow, edging up in the driver’s seat.

“What, did you look on the Parent Portal?”

“Yes. Did you?”

“No. He graded my test already?”

“Yes.”

“What did I get, Mom?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll do better next time.”

Ryan didn’t reply.

Sabrina whispered, “… Speaking as the captain of the track team, I can assure you that Kathleen will be sorely missed by every…”

Jake turned to Ryan, who looked crestfallen. “Don’t sweat it, buddy.”

Ryan didn’t say anything to him, either.

Jake turned back around, pained. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to Ryan if he and Pam divorced. His son was already depressed and guilt-ridden. It wouldn’t help that he’d ping-pong back and forth between their houses. Jake would become a weekend father, if that. Everything had gone to shit because of his decision on Pike Road. In trying to be a good father, he’d been a terrible father. In trying to save his son, he’d destroyed him. He’d driven his wife away. He’d lost everything.

Story of my life.

Sabrina said, “… there are so many cool stories about Kathleen, like that she sang the loudest on the bus, and that everyone on the guys team wanted to take her out, but there is one main story I know that will tell the audience about her…”

Jake felt his chest tighten as they reached the lighted brick CONCORD CHASE HIGH SCHOOL sign and turned into the entrance, where another cop directed them to keep moving toward the back, behind the school.

“Damn.” Pam sighed. “They’re sending us to the lot by the tennis courts. It’ll be a long walk.” She shifted up to the rearview mirror, slowing the car. “Ryan, Sabrina? You guys want to get out here, since we’re running late?”

“No,” Ryan answered, after a moment.

“But honey, you won’t get a seat.”

“The team will save me one.”

Sabrina said, “I’ll stay. I’m good.”

“Okay.” Pam fed the car some gas, and they approached the entrance doors on the right, then they stopped again in the line of traffic. A thick crowd thronged under the lighted canopy that covered the entrance doors, and at the perimeter, a TV news crew filmed a pretty anchorwoman raising a bubble microphone to a tall, well-dressed man with dark hair, talking in the bright white klieglights.