Junkyard Dog(55)

“I love you too,” she says.

Rolling my eyes, I walk toward the door. “Yeah, f*cking duh, Candy.”

“Sure, as if you had any idea. You’re not fooling anyone.” Candy grabs my arm and smiles up at me. “Thank you for bringing us here.”

“You’re welcome. I want you to know how I understand the kids are part of the deal.”

Candy pulls me to a stop before we reach the back door. “I promise I’ll never hurt you on purpose. Even though trusting people isn’t your strong suit, you can trust me.”

I study Candy and then cup her face. Kissing her softly, I feel both powerful and scared as hell. She has the power to hurt me. No one in the world can break me like Candy can now. I’ve given her this power, and I’ll learn how to live with feeling vulnerable. Until I get the hang of it, I’ll pretend to be the * I’ve always been.





THIRTY THREE - CANDY


The minute we turn onto Hayes’s street, I know something is up. I’m uncertain what he has in mind when we pull up to his big, modern, concrete home. Now I’m outside watching the kids play with Nightmare in the expansive, manicured backyard. A too quiet Hayes stands at my side. When he crawls into his head, I always worry. Normally, he's thinking about how many people he needs to kill to get what he wants. Now he’s thinking about me.

“I like your house,” I say, breaking the silence. “It feels like you in every way.”

“Well, it is my house.”

“I’m Candy, Hayes. Don’t put on your bullshit mask for me.”

His dark eyes find me and study my face before he finally asks. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re overwhelmed by having us here and by saying those three words in your bedroom. You want space, but you’re afraid to ask for it. You think I’ll be mad, but I know you, and I know you’ve been alone for a long time. Space makes sense. Not only for you but for me too. I’ve been without a man all my life. Even when I was dating, I never viewed myself as part of a couple. Now I love you, and I want to spend all of my time with you, but I also want to have my life stay the way it was. I know what you’re feeling, so you pretend with me.”

“You want time away from me, huh?” he says.

“Not yet, but I will. It’s normal for people like us. We’re basically loners. If I didn’t have the kids, I’d be alone a lot, and I’d be okay with that. I don’t need to be entertained by people. I want my space, so I understand you feeling trapped.”

“You’re projecting.”

“Am I, Oprah?”

Hayes grins. “I actually did hear that word on her show. It was years ago while I was waiting at the dentist.”

“Don’t lie, boss. We both know you love Oprah. I bet you watched her every day.”

“Pain in the ass.”

“Maybe but I love you. I’m not in denial of who you are. I understand all the bad that comes with all the good. I know you aren’t a man accustomed to having children playing at his house or a woman rolling around in his bed.”

Hayes stares at the sky, and I catch him smirking. “What you were doing to my pillow was damn sexy.”

I smile too and take his hand. “Having us here is a big step. I don’t need you to make any other big displays for a while. Just relax.”

Hayes leans down to kiss me, hears the kids nearby, and changes his target from my lips to my cheek.

“They know we kiss,” I say, pulling him down to kiss his lips.

Hayes wiggles free. “My parents once made out in front of me. I still have nightmares.”

“No offense, but your parents weren’t as hot as us.”

“My mom was a good looking woman.”

“Yes, very handsome,” I say and then dodge his hand when he tries to smack my ass.

I walk to where the kids are petting Nightmare. The mammoth dog stares at me with his big, dark eyes, reminding me of his owner. They’re both giants living in a normal sized world. Though excited to have company, they’re also still hoping we’ll leave soon.

“He likes when I scratch him behind the ears,” Chipper tells me.

Kneeling down, I pet the dog, and he rolls on his side to get tummy love. I glance back at Hayes watching us with his dog. There’s something a little lonely about the way he stands apart. Every night, he comes home to an empty house. Nightmare is accustomed to being alone all day. They’ve only had each other for so long and adding to their little group is probably scary as hell.

I know I’m scared about my future with Hayes.

His house feels like his. Mine feels like mine. The kids just settled into their new lives in White Horse. None of us are really interested in change. As long as we keep things simple for the time being, this arrangement can work.

Unfortunately, Hayes doesn’t believe in simple.

“We ought to go somewhere for your fall break,” he tells the kids after we sit down at his dining table to eat.

“Where?” Chipper asks immediately.

I know my son wants a father figure. He tried with his real father, but Toby has no interest in children. He won’t even hold his “wanted” son, Charlie.

Chipper tried bonding with his grandfather, but Charles Eddison isn’t the warmest man. He loves his grandkids, but they freak him out. I doubted he was hands-on with Toby either.