James (Resisting Love #3)(9)

I clench my teeth together. “Sasha, my job is unpredictable, I don’t have a say in when I need to leave. It’s not my choice, trust me, I want to be here! More than anything.”

“Your job or your girlfriend?” she asks snidely. Oh, so that’s what this is all about.

“Are you jealous?” I taunt.

“No, why would I be?” she replies as she looks down at her nails.

“Maybe because you still want me?” I say hopefully. Her brown eyes pierce mine, but she stays silent. She takes Jye out of his feeding chair and to the sink where she washes his face and hands.

“Hey, little man, where are you off to?” I ask Jye, noticing his board shorts.

“Beach!” Jye calls out, a huge grin on his face.

“Can you watch him while I have a quick shower?” Sasha asks, sounding anything but happy about it.

“Of course.” Spending time with my son is a blessing, not a chore.

“Okay, I’ll be about ten minutes.”

“Take your time. Come on, Jye,” I say as I take his hand in mine and pull him towards the living room.

***

Sasha

I take a quick shower and get ready for the beach. Jye and I both love the ocean, and right now the weather is perfect for it. I pack a bag for both of us, and then walk out of my room wearing my bikini with denim shorts and a white kaftan over it.

While I was in the shower, I practised my speech. I get weak around James. After not seeing him for so long, I’m almost desperate to be in his presence. I can’t let myself forget about everything that happened in the past.

James isn’t mine, and he'll never be mine.

Broken trust isn’t easily repaired.

“James?” I say.

“Yeah?” he replies, checking me out from head to toe.

“Maybe we should work out an agreement. You have Jye for the weekend, something like that.”

He puts down the truck he was holding and instantly stands up. “No. Like I said, my work is unpredictable and besides I don’t want to see him only two days a week. When I’m not working, I want to be here,” he states.

“I needed you, James. I had a job interview, and I couldn’t even reach you. I had to drop Jye off at my mother’s house!”

“I’m sorry, okay? If you ever need anything and you can’t get me, call Kade or Chase, they'd love to help out.”

“What is it that you even do for work?” I ask in exasperation. I’ve asked him before, but saying you run an organization isn’t really telling me anything. James’ eyes soften and he steps closer to me, putting his hand on my cheek.

“When we broke up, Sasha, I never cheated on you. I f*cking loved you, I would never have thrown that away,” James whispers. I get a flashback of that moment, me standing at the front door of a random house and James inside, telling me that I was no one to him.

“No one,” I whisper back softly.

“What?”

“I’m no one to you,” I repeat in a daze like state.

“You're everything to me, Sasha,” he replies in a forceful tone. When he leans forward and locks his lips with mine, I allow myself a moment of weakness. A moment to taste the man I love, to live in a fantasy. He pulls back, his chest heaving slightly.

“You have a girlfriend!” I spit out.

“No, I don’t,” he says with a crooked grin.

“What happened?” I ask him, needing to know the answer.

“We broke up. You and Jye are my priority. I was dating a girl named Tatiana, but now we’re over. Now that that’s out of the way, are we gonna go to the beach? Have a nice family outing?” he asks.

I nod my head yes. I realise later that he never answered my question.

***





Chapter Five


James


“Thank you, James,” Bethany says gratefully.

“No problem. Okay, you know the drill, the officer will be by tomorrow,” I tell her for the second time. She thanks me again. I walk out of her house, making sure she locks it behind me, and then head for my car. I sit there a moment, sighing ruefully. Another day I didn’t get to see Jye. I miss my little man, and his mama. I miss my family. The last two days have been hectic.

I check my phone, no missed calls or text messages. That’s almost worse. They don’t even need me. I just come and go, as work allows me to, but I’m not actually needed. I hit the steering wheel with the palm of my hand in frustration. I need to be with my family.

***

Sasha

Today we’re heading to James’ house for a family lunch. Everyone wants to see Jye, and I have to admit that I’m nervous to face his mother. I used to be pretty close with Lucy when James and I used to date, and she's a lovely woman. Anyone would be lucky to have her as a mother-in-law, which is why I dread seeing disappointment in her eyes.

I glance at Jye in the rear view mirror and take a deep breath. He's fast asleep and sucking his thumb, looking adorable in his distressed jeans and superman shirt. I park my car in James’ driveway and sit still for a few moments, buying time to compose myself. A slight knock on the window makes me jump, and I instantly turn my head to the right, coming face to face with James. His lips are pursed together, like he’s fighting a smile. The action draws my gaze to his lip ring that I’m so fond of.