James (Resisting Love #3)(41)

“I messed up. I just didn’t want to hurt you, Sasha. I know I’ve only made it worse now, but f*ck. I couldn’t let you run again. I won’t let you run again. I want us to be a family more than anything, and I promise you I'll never let you down again. I’m willing to do anything to build the trust back between us. I'll put in so much effort to fix this. Just give me a chance, please, that’s all I’m asking for. One chance.”

I watch as different emotions flicker in her eyes.

Pain.

Hurt.

Regret.

I never want to see her upset again. Her pink lips are slightly pouted, and I want nothing more than to kiss her, to erase the last few days. When she says nothing, I can’t take it anymore. I walk over to her and push her long thick hair onto one side of her neck. With the tip of my index finger I lift her chin up and stare into soulful brown eyes.

“I love you so much. I want you in my life, Sasha. Now that I know what it feels like to have you here, I can’t go back to being without you. You know I'll never take you for granted and I'll always treat you like the princess you are. We're perfect together, please don’t give up on me,” I whisper. I’m begging and I don’t even care. I will get down on my knees if I have too. I guess it’s true, love has no pride.

Sasha exhales, her shoulders drooping as she leans her head on my chest. I cradle her head to my chest, closing my eyes and savouring the feel of her touch.

“Let’s go to bed, James,” she finally says, putting me out of my misery. She stands and I take the opportunity to taste her lips in a soft kiss. She doesn’t respond but she doesn’t push me away either. She wants me, but doesn’t want to. It hurts that she feels like that, but I can fix it. I know I can.

We lay next to each other, only slightly touching.

“Are you still married?” she whispers.

“Just need a few days for the annulment to go through. It’s getting taken care of, don’t worry, okay?” I tell her, hoping I’m saying the right words. I shuffle closer to her and take her into my arms. I kiss her on her forehead, breathe in her scent, so f*cking happy she’s home where she belongs.

***





Chapter Twenty-Two


Two weeks later


Sasha

Work drags by slowly. I know it’s not helping staring at the clock every five minutes, but I can’t seem to help myself. Finally five thirty arrives and I can’t get out of there soon enough. I sing along to Incubus ‘Love Hurts’ on the drive home, probably more loudly than I should be. When I get home Jye is sitting on the floor playing with his toys. I scoop him up in my arms, and place kisses all over his face. He giggles and happy coos, “Mama.”

“How was your day, baby?” I ask him. I see James watching us interact out of the corner of my eye, and I hesitantly look his way.

“How was work?” he asks me, his tone careful and deliberate. I sit Jye on my hip, and his chubby hands grip onto my arm.

“It was okay. The usual,” I tell him.

“You know you don’t have to work,” he tells me. He's said this many times before. He has enough money, so I don’t need to work. The thing is I only work part time, and I want to have my own money.

“I know, James,” I respond. He knows how I feel about it, so I don’t elaborate.

“Can we go out for dinner?” he asks me. He stands with his hands resting on the table, dressed in fitted, worn jeans and a white shirt. He’s playing with his lip ring, blue eyes unwavering.

To say things have been slightly strained between James and me would be an understatement. I’d like to think they're slowly getting better, but I’m not so sure. His annulment was finalised but the damage it caused was still lingering.

“Actually, I’m kind of tired,” I tell him honestly.

“Okay, I’ll order in,” he instantly says.

I walk past him and into Jye’s room. We play for a little while and I read him a few books. I always make sure to spend time with him on the days I’m at work, since I don’t get to see him all day.

The food arrives and we all eat together, making small talk. After Jye goes to bed, I have a shower, get dressed and then read in bed while James watches TV next to me. I know this was the wrong book to pick when a sex scene piques my interest. James and I haven’t had sex in awhile. A soft moan escapes my lips, and I cringe, hoping he didn’t notice.

“What are you reading?” he suddenly asks, his voice a deep rumble.

I clear my throat. “Just a romance,” I evade. One minute my Kindle is in my hands, the next James has it. I see his eyes quickly read the scene and I want to die of embarrassment. James' eyes widen, and his lips curve into a knowing smile. The atmosphere in the room changes, the air getting thick. He places the Kindle down on the side table and then stands up, lifting his top off in one swift move. I eye his rippled chest, the hard curve of his torso, and finally the deep indentured V. The man is a god.

“Clothes off, Sasha. Now,” he demands. He removes his own pants, standing there in all his glory as I undress. He kneels on the bed, and starts to stroke himself. It’s then I know that he's re-enacting the scene that I was just reading. Heat pools in my lower belly, as I wait for his next command.

“Lie down on your stomach, Sasha.” I lie down and hear him open and close a drawer.