Jackson Stiles, Road to Redemption (Road to Redemption #1)(49)

“No, screw that, Nick. This?” I make as big a f*cking circle as I can with my hands toward the house. “Is never going to get fixed. You think you can get that through your thick ass skull? And that bike?” I point at it, but f*ck if I’m gonna look at it again. “Is not gonna bring Mike back.”

I feel it as soon as the words leave my mouth. The sting behind my eyes, the shortness of breath. The twisted knots in my gut. The memory of conversations that I gave zero thought to, which cost me a brother.

I reach across my chest. It f*cking burns like hell, the ink underneath my shirt.

“Listen,” Nick says to me after a couple painfully long minutes of silence between the three of us. “I’ll get ya home. Just let me tell Mia, and I’ll grab my—”

“I’ll take him.” Green’s unexpected offer throws me off guard.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” She looks completely serious right now. Maybe even concerned. Which is freaking me the f*ck out. “I’m headed in that direction, anyway.”

How does she know which way is my way?

“How do you—”

“Stay so awesome? It’s hard work.” She smiles, and I have no idea how to react. Is she putting on a show or is she being serious here?

I don’t have to think about it too long.

“If you’re sure. I’ll just go make sure Ma’s okay.” Nick’s already backing away toward the front entry.

Green nods. “Absolutely.”

I breathe. Or try to. “Tell her I’m sorry for…” I wave at the house. Nick nods. He knows what I mean.

“Okay then. Let me get your stuff. We’ll talk, bro. Okay?” He looks to me for some kinda sign that I’m not gonna go home and drink myself to sleep. I can’t give it to him. Instead, I start for Green’s car, ready to get the hell outta Dodge for the night.

Maybe longer.





X X X


“You wanna talk about it?” Green tries to open up the floodgates about ten minutes into our drive. There’s a No Entrance sign that’s been up for roughly a decade, though, unfortunately for her.

“No.”

“You wanna talk about something else?”

“No.” What am I, in Lana’s office?

“You probably should talk about it.”

“Leave it alone, Green.”

“But I just─”

“Leave it the f*ck alone.”

She skips a beat when I get loud about it.

“Fine,” she concedes. Another ten minutes go by, and she apparently can’t help herself.

“Jackson?”

I blow out some air. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I told you, Green, it’s not your—”

“No.” She cuts me off. “I mean, about the article.”

My connection with the outside world is broken as I turn to face her. Wasn’t expecting that from her, either. She’s all about the surprises tonight.

“I knew you knew about it, of course. I knew you hated me for writing it. But I didn’t know you’d actually read it until you quoted it tonight.”

Gotta say, not used to getting apologies. Not that I need ’em, but when I hear them, I almost don’t even recognize what’s happening.

“Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you then.”

That’s a laugh.

“You don’t know me now.”

“I know there’s a heart under there somewhere.” She rests her hand against my chest. It’s warm as f*ck. “I saw it tonight. I saw it the other day when I found Stix in the back of your car. I know someone like that wouldn’t take advantage of people the way that article suggested you do. So, I’m sorry.”

Her hand finds the steering wheel again.

She’s kinda f*cking wigging me out with this sappy shit, to tell you the truth. I don’t know if she’s being sincere or playing me for information. I certainly don’t know how to interact with her on this level.

“Green?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t go soft on me. Comprende?”

I watch her to see if she gets it. When she glances over to read me, she looks like she wants to say something else about it, but in the end, the sides of her mouth turn up in a slight grin. She nods when she goes back to watching the road.

“Comprende.”

“Cool.” I return to watching the world go by, and the car becomes silent again, which I like much better.

Pretty soon, we’re approaching my apartment complex. In the middle of thinking about how Mikey used to follow me every f*cking where, and how it used to drive me batshit crazy but I’d kill for him to do it one more time, it hits me that I completely forgot to ask Green how in the hell she knew where I live. Before I can open my mouth to begin the questioning, I see the lights just around the corner. Red and blue flash against the trees that line my apartment building’s property, and all of a sudden, I have a very bad feeling.

A sick to my stomach, I don’t wanna f*cking know, bad feeling.

As Green turns into the parking lot, I see the yellow tape sectioning off an area of the complex. My feet itch to get out of the car, and when Green parks, I’m out before she can ask me anything about it.