Jacked (Trent Brothers #1)(160)

“So tell me, Erin…” His fingertips bit into my skin. “What happens if I get you pregnant?” His eyebrows rose. “No condom between us…” He rolled his hips over and over again, bouncing me hard and rough over his bare skin. “Pretty sure if I dig in there I can find the strings to remove that thing.”

Fear caused new pressure to build. I was drawn and quartered and completely unable to stop him from doing anything he wanted.

“So what happens, huh? You gonna cut our baby out of your body? Toss it in the garbage like Nikki did?”

I felt the bottom drop out, knowing with absolute certainty what angry f*cking felt like. He stunned me and broke my heart, railing into me so hard it took my breath away.

“She did that, you know. Told me she miscarried and I believed it… ’til I got the f*cking bill.”

I didn’t know. I gripped the ropes in both hands, wishing to get free, wishing I could take his pain away, wishing he wasn’t inside me while losing his mind. My head shook back and forth, trying to deny that I’d be like that. I knew the value of life and how precious it was and how quickly and violently it ended. We weren’t humans—we were biological marvels. If Adam got me pregnant—

Sweat dripped down his chest. His teeth were clenched. “Would you do that, Erin? Would you? Answer me!”

“No!” I’d never hurt him that way.

“No? I saw the way you shied away from Turk’s kid, so I know you’re f*cking lying to me. You know what I think?”

I didn’t even want to venture a guess.

“I think you’d rip that miracle right out of your belly and lie to my face like she did.”

Tears stung my eyes. I’d never felt so hopeless in all of my life, powerless to convince him beyond what he believed. His lack of faith in me tore open new gaping wounds. I was nothing like his ex. “I wouldn’t.”

He squeezed my legs together, pressing my thighs to his body within his muscular arm and f*cked me harder, ebbing the pleasure toward pain. “Why don’t I believe you? It’s okay, I’ll give you want you want. After all, my cock is good enough for you.”

“I wouldn’t,” I cried out, needing him to believe me. “I swear.”

He released my legs as if they’d burned him. They flopped apart with a twitchy jerk, back to their bent positions. Muscles within my thighs quivered and quaked. Adam reached forward, grabbing me by the back of my neck, pulling me up to meet the ferocity in his eyes.

“Lie to my face, Doc.”

He impaled me again.

He was just as torn, equally as broken.

“I’m not lying.”

He slammed into me, holding our gaze with each thrust. “Then f*cking tell me the truth. You want a future or a memory?”

I wanted the moon and stars, wrapped in his unyielding promises. “I want you.”

My hair tangled in his clawed fingers. “Would you want what we created too? Would you?”

“Please don’t.” He was asking too much—asking me to become a danger to myself and others. “Please.”

“Answer me!”

“You’ll hate me,” I cried, my chest cracking into a million pieces of pain. “I’m not a murderer. Don’t… Oh God, please. When I turn, you’ll hate me.”

His scowl turned cruel. I tried to hide my face in my shoulder; my self-loathing burned the edges of my eyes. I choked on my tears, sputtering through the rising sobs that shook me while I dangled in the air. He’d turned our love to hate and me into my darkest fear, where the ugliness consumed me. The desolation and despair pulled me under. “You’ll hate me.” I barely whispered the words, drowning in their validity.

Adam’s arm cinched around my waist, my legs circled his hips. With one hand, he pulled one of the ropes, releasing some of the tension holding me aloft. He bent sideways, fetching something long and silver. With a few passes, the sharp blade sliced through the tangle of rope above me.

His knife hit the ground, using both arms to hold me to him as my legs failed to support my weight. A few steps and he sat with me sprawled over top of him.

“Shh… sweetheart.” He brushed my hair back over and over again. “What is it that has you so scared? Please, please tell me. I want to understand.”

“I didn’t do it. I could never… I save lives.” Memories slammed into each other with such violence, it was hard to stop shaking. “I didn’t do it. I’m not like that. I could never… hurt… but so many women do. So many women… She made me carry the jugs, putting my fingerprints over everything. And when the police came she just pointed and said that I did it. I didn’t. But they didn’t believe me. They didn’t even care or question her.”

Adam just watched me intently as I fell apart. The silence was deadly.

“That’s why I need to finish. So that never happens to another child. But what happens when I break? Will I turn into a monster, too?”

I knew he didn’t understand.

I had nothing left. Irrationality had taken control. “I don’t want to turn into a monster.”

“That won’t happen, Erin. You’re an angel. You’re a savior, not a monster.”

We were both in denial, except mine was wrapped in a thick layer of hysterics. “You don’t know that. Women change. The hormones or something.” I shook my head. “They do unspeakable things.”