Jacked (Trent Brothers #1)(128)

“He won’t shoot you,” Jen chided. “Just don’t call him that to his face or he just might.”

Sherry surrendered. “Hey, I didn’t make up the name. That’s what they call him on Facebook.” She took a drink of her water. “I can’t believe he’s got like forty-seven thousand fans on there. It’s crazy.”

Forty thousand what???

“I wonder how many likes that other hot cop from San Francisco has,” Sherry mused, painting one of her French fries with mustard. “I saw a post on him yesterday. He’s cute, too.”

My gut sank. Her use of condiments wasn’t helping. “Are you serious?”

Sherry nodded. “I thought you knew that. You’ve been dating him for weeks and you haven’t cyber-stalked him yet?”

Dread was pounding my nervous system. “No. I barely have time to study and sleep—”

“And have sex,” Sherry added.

I smiled at her while chewing the last bit of granola topping. “And have sex. No, I haven’t stalked him—at all.”

Jen eyed me over. “Nothing? No Internet searches or anything?”

Their expectations were ridiculous. “No. Why? Is that what all the crazy women are doing these days?”

“Not crazy women, well-informed women.” Jen pointed a baby carrot at me. “Knowledge is empowerment. You know that. I thought you’d at least be curious about the television star you’re dating. See what you’re getting into.”

Now I was worried. “Why? What am I getting into?”

Jen shrugged. “Beyond him being a local celebrity? I don’t know. You should see some of the comments they make on his fan page. I know you don’t do social media much but some of the stuff they say, well it’s sort of scary. I guess that means you’ve never watched his television show either. Did he show you any clips yet?”

“No.” I opened my bottle of mineral water and took a sip. “It’s not a subject he likes to discuss. Ever.”

Jen finished chewing. “Well, you can always watch a few of them on YouTube. There are about twenty of them, right Sherry?”

It bothered me that they knew more about the guy I was dating than I did. “You two watched them?”

Sherry shrugged it off and decorated another French fry.

“Without me?” I added.

“We thought you might be uncomfortable or something so…,” Jen said. “I’m sorry. We should have asked.”

Sherry reached for her pocket, retrieving her cell phone. “You want to watch one now?”

My head was swimming. Did I? “Not right now.”

“Maybe some other time then,” Jen said. “Does he know he’s all over Facebook?”

Images of my last patient—that little boy—unconscious, battered and bruised from head to toe, was dominating, drowning everything else out. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Is this bothering you? Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it. We’ll change the subject,” Jen said. “Let’s change the subject.”

Sarah waddled in through the doorway. The second our eyes connected, heavy-hearted sympathy flowed between us.

“Hey,” she said to the table. “Oh Erin.” She hugged me. “That was awful. Are you okay?”

I rubbed the forearm she had across my chest. “Yeah.”

“What’s going on?” Jen asked, scanning us for answers.

Sarah released me; the added weight of her pregnant belly giving her some discomfort as she straightened. “We just had a ped trauma. Horrible, horrible abuse case. Poor baby. Made me sick to think of it.”

“Abuse?” Sherry questioned. “Is that what was going on? I had heard something but I wasn’t sure. I can’t believe they cut back on overnight pediatric trauma coverage. As if we don’t have enough to do.”

“He was my patient,” I muttered, wishing we would never see cases like that ever again. “Makes you lose faith in humanity.” I studied Sarah’s jutting stomach. “Just confirms why I never want kids.”

A collective “What?” rose from the table.

Sherry stared at me in utter disbelief. “You don’t want kids?”

Sarah appeared wounded. “Why is this the first time I’m hearing this?”

I was beginning to worry I’d sprouted a second head or something. “After seeing the condition that little boy was in, it just proves that… never mind.” I held my tongue, knowing I was sitting at a table with three fierce mothers, all of who were ready to pounce.

I held up a hand. “Before you all start on me, it’s a personal choice. Some women want them. I don’t. I just don’t think motherhood is for me, that’s all.” I scanned their faces, knowing they would fight me tooth and nail on my declaration but none of them, none of them knew the horrors I’d seen or the blackest depths a woman’s soul could reach when under such pressure. No, my decisions were final and that was that.

Within a nanosecond, all three of them started to argue their points. “Listen, it’s my choice. I don’t want children.”

“Does Adam know this?” Jen asked.

I shook my head, wanting to find a safe place to hide. Memories of being alone, of being terrified while trying to give a baby CPR, seized me. “It’s not something we’ve discussed yet. We’ve only known each other a month or so. It’s too soon for that.”