Jacked (Trent Brothers #1)(114)

I needed to digest all of that while feeling his words settle in my most sensitive places. “So you want someone you can tie up?”

He drifted his lips down the back of my hand. “No, I want you, Erin. But yes, from time to time I would like you to let me take complete control of how you receive your orgasms. Sound doable?”

“Just a little kink?”

“Don’t take it to a dark place, babe. It’s just a little surrender every now and then.”

My body naturally softened. “Then why did Tampon Girl make it sound so horrible?”

Adam chuckled, his gaze warm with his amusement. He pulled the blankets up over us. I laid my face on his arm and cuddled deeper into his chest, my body sated with fantastic sex and heavy with exhaustion and mental overload. Yet, content.

“Because,” he said, “Tampon Girl has a way of twisting everything and finding a way to be miserable about it. But you…” He folded our hands together and pressed them to his chest. “You are just the opposite.”

He kissed me sweetly and slowly, letting me know the depth of his feelings without saying a word.

“One last question,” I managed to say.

Adam pulled his face back.

I let my fingers sift through his soft hair. “Is this Shib… rope stuff the extent of it? The truth.”

He smiled softly, pressing into my touch like a pampered lion. “It’s Shibari, and yes, that and seeing you in my cuffs is about the extent of it. You look worried.”

Part of me was.

“Think rope swing, okay? And maybe being tied to my bed for a few hours while I make you come over and over again.”

I liked the sound of that very much. “Why rope?”

Adam shoved at the pillow under his head. “I like it. I like the feeling of control it gives me, Erin. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

I could sense I was making him agitated and I was too tired to properly analyze it all. My fingertip traced the ornate rope tattoo that wrapped his upper arms. It made sense as to why he decorated his body with the symbol that gave him a sense of stability. His spirit was just as vulnerable as mine.

Life, death, crime, control… it was all so very exhausting. I snuggled into him and closed my eyes, but Adam was restless.

“Hey,” he said softly.

I stirred. “What?”

“My bed is much more comfortable than yours,” he whispered. “Just sayin’.”

I smiled, agreeing with him. My old mattress felt like a rock compared to his.

Adam let out a deep yawn.

“Just sayin’, Cop?”

He smiled, kissed my forehead, and tucked me back under his chin. “Just sayin’, Doc.”





I PULLED MY black cargos on and zipped them, going commando underneath, my cock as deflated and tired as the rest of me. Erin had slept peacefully for about six hours. The first half hour of which I’d just laid there and watched her instead of sleeping.

I’d been too restless, too worried after my disclosure to sleep. Too many variables played out in my mind, all surrounded by one central fear, if I truly self-analyzed it. She’d let me cuff her and surrendered without a fuss, but would she be truly open to taking it further?

I remembered when I first tried to bind Nikki with rope. It was an experiment, an attempt to fix some of the problems we were having. Too many things weren’t adding up, leading me to believe she was messing around with someone else behind my back. She’d vehemently denied it and I didn’t have solid proof, but once the seed of doubt was planted, it slowly ate at me.

I didn’t know what else to do to build the trust back up between us or to give myself a sense of control again. My life had been a speeding train headed on a collision course with an immovable mountain, everything in fast forward and careening out of control.

I needed to find my center, my focus.

I’d practiced Shibari with a few girls back in college; I’d taken classes with local rope bondage artists and, over the years, perfected my techniques until I’d mastered it. It was fun and a hell of a rush, and filled a need inside me that nothing else was able to meet.

When I tried to introduce Nikki to Shibari, she had laughed in my face for a good portion of it, stating repeatedly that I was being a controlling ass amongst other demeaning names. My counselor said I was feeling emasculated. I actually looked it up on Google to see if I could agree with that assessment.

It wasn’t too far off the mark, actually.

We’d tried it again a few times after that but each of those encounters had left me more frustrated and fractured than was smart or healthy.

I ran a hand through my wet hair and sat down on Erin’s bed to pull my socks on. At least this time I didn’t wake up shaking after hearing the echo of gunfire. No, this afternoon I felt pretty f*cking fantastic for once.

After stirring Erin with some kisses in bed, I’d woken us both up completely in the shower with some soapy foreplay. Waking with Erin, feeling her hand twine with mine, her naked body resting comfortably against me, I was finding it hard to remember what life was like without this feeling in it.

This was the kind of connection I’d kill somebody to protect.

I’d given her two more orgasms after that and, considering how hard I’d taken her, I highly doubted I could get another erection right now even if I tried.