Into the Water(52)

‘Bullshit!’ I said, and I tried to laugh. ‘That’s total bullshit.’ Everyone was staring at me and it was impossible to keep my face from going red. ‘It’s bullshit,’ I said again.

‘Why would he invent a story like that, Lena?’ Sean asked me. ‘Why would Katie’s little brother come up with a story like that?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I don’t know. But it’s not true.’ I was staring at the table and trying to think of a reason, but my face just kept getting hotter and hotter.

‘Lena,’ Erin said, ‘you’re obviously not telling the truth. What’s less clear is why on earth you would lie about something like this. Why would you try to protect a man who has taken advantage of your friend like that?’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake—’

‘What?’ she asked, getting right up in my face. ‘For fuck’s sake what?’ There was something about her, about how close she got to me and the expression on her face, that made me want to slap her.

‘He didn’t take advantage of her. She wasn’t a child!’

She looked really pleased with herself then, and I wanted to slap her even more, and she just kept talking. ‘If he didn’t take advantage of her, why do you hate him so much? Were you jealous?’

‘I think that’s enough,’ Julia said, but no one listened to her.

Erin just kept talking, kept going on and on at me. ‘Did you want him for yourself, was that it? Were you pissed off, because you thought you were the prettier one, you thought you should get all the attention?’

I just lost it then. I knew that if she didn’t shut up I was going to hit her, so I said it. ‘I hated him, you stupid bitch. I hated him because he took her from me.’

Everyone went quiet for a bit. Then Sean said, ‘He took her from you? How did he do that, Lena?’

I couldn’t help it. I was just so fucking tired, and it was obvious that they were going to find out now anyway, now that Josh had gone and opened his big mouth. But most of all, I was just too tired to lie any more. So I sat there in our kitchen and I betrayed her.

I’d promised her. After we argued, after she swore to me that they’d split up and she wasn’t seeing him any longer, she made me swear: that no matter what happened, no matter what, I would never tell anyone about them. We went to the pool together for the first time in ages. We sat under the trees where no one could see us and she cried and held my hand. ‘I know you think it’s wrong,’ she said, ‘that I shouldn’t have been with him. I get that. But I loved him, Lenie. I still do. He was everything to me. I can’t have him hurt, I just can’t. I couldn’t bear it. Please don’t do anything that would hurt him. Please, Lenie, keep this secret for me. It’s not about him, I know you hate him. Do it for me.’

And I tried. I really did. Even when my mum came to my room and told me that they’d found her in the water, even when Louise came to the house half mad with grief, even when that piece of shit gave a statement to the local papers about what a great student she was, how much she was loved and admired by students and teachers alike. Even when he came up to me at my mother’s funeral and offered his condolences, I bit my fucking tongue.

But I’d been biting and biting and biting for months now and if I didn’t stop I was going to bite clean through. I was going to choke on it.

So I told them. Yes, Katie and Mark Henderson had a relationship. It started in the autumn. It ended in March or April. It started up again, in late May, I thought, but not for long. She ended the relationship. No, I didn’t have proof.

‘They were really careful,’ I told them. ‘No emails, no texts, no Messenger, nothing electronic. It was a rule with them. They were strict about it.’

‘They were, or he was?’ Erin asked.

I glared at her. ‘Well, I never discussed it with him, did I? That’s what she told me. It was their rule.’

‘When did you first find out about this, Lena?’ Erin asked. ‘You need to go right back to the beginning.’

‘No, actually, I don’t think she does,’ Julia said suddenly. She was standing over by the door; I’d forgotten she was even in the room. ‘I think Lena is very tired and should be left alone for now. We can come by and do this at the police station tomorrow, or you can come back here, but that’s enough for today.’

I actually wanted to hug her; for the first time since I’d met her, I felt like Julia was on my side. Erin was about to protest, but Sean said, ‘Yes, you’re right,’ and he got up and they all marched out of the kitchen and into the hallway. I followed them. When they were at the door, I said to them, ‘Do you realize what this will do to her mum and dad? When they find out?’

Erin turned round to face me. ‘Well, at least they’ll have a reason why,’ she said.

‘No, they won’t. They won’t have a reason,’ I said. ‘There was no reason to do what she did. Look, you’re proving it right now. By being here, you’re proving that she did it for nothing.’

‘What do you mean, Lena?’ They were all stood there, staring at me, expectant.

‘She didn’t do it because he broke her heart or because she felt guilty or anything like that. She did it to protect him. She thought that someone had found out. She thought he was going to be reported and that he’d be in the papers. She thought there would be a trial, and he would be convicted, and he would go to prison as a sex offender. She thought he’d be beaten, or raped, or whatever it is that happens to men like that inside. So she decided to get rid of the evidence,’ I said. I was starting to cry by then and Julia stepped out in front of me and put her arms around me; she was going, ‘Shhh, Lena, it’s all right, shhh.’