Instant Temptation (Wilder #3)(14)

“Shit,” TJ said.

Stone looked at him, smile fading. “Yeah, now see, I sort of thought that’d be the good news.”

“Seriously, man,” Cam said. “You’ve done nothing but trek after trek this past year. Thought maybe you’d want to hang around.”

“You can help us with wedding plans,” Katie said as if that was actually some kind of bonus. “Instead of showing up at the last minute like you’d have to do if you left.”

Which is exactly what he’d been hoping for.

Annie arrived, looking harassed. “I’m late.”

No one dared agree with her. She was temperamental in the best of times, and pregnancy wasn’t one of them. No one wanted to risk their neck, not when her apron said it all: K*SS MY *SS—Would you like to buy a vowel?

Nick pulled her onto his lap, where she snuggled in, harassed look gone, replaced by a soft smile. “How are you feeling?” Nick asked her.

“Great, but Not-Abigail would be doing better if I hadn’t eaten all the brownies I made earlier.”

Nick rubbed her belly and smiled as Annie looked around. “What’s up? I miss anything?”

“You almost missed TJ telling us what his problem is,” Cam said.

Everything looked at TJ.

“I don’t have a problem,” TJ said.

“Really?” Annie asked. “’Cause you don’t seem like yourself.”

“Of course I’m myself. Who else would I be?”

“I don’t know,” Stone said. “Maybe some guy who’s really good at shoving all his shit into a box and not dealing with it.”

“What shit? I’m fine.”

Stone coughed into his hand and said, “bullshit” at the same time.

TJ ignored him.

Annie sighed. “Told you,” she said to Nick, who nodded sagely.

“Told him what?” TJ asked.

“That you’re still on that whole don’t-care, let-nothing-penetrate campaign.”

“That’s ridiculous,” TJ said. “I care about plenty.”

“About us, yes,” Annie agreed. “But what about outside us?”

“Hell, there’s so many of ‘us’ to worry about, why do I need more?”

“You used to need more. You used to have a huge wide circle of people you cared about. Then Sam died.”

They sucked in a collective breath. Except for TJ. He didn’t breathe. Samantha James had been his college girlfriend. Supporting herself through college as a river guide, she’d brought him into her world. Unfortunately, she’d been wilder than he’d ever even thought of being, and had lived more on guts and luck than actual skill.

She’d gotten herself killed on a river trip, and though it hadn’t been TJ’s fault—hell, he hadn’t even been on that trip—it’d hit him hard because it’d been an unnecessary tragedy. If only she’d followed her brain instead of her gut, if only she’d been better prepared, if only…

He really hated if only’s. When he’d decided to stay in the world that Sam had introduced him to, he’d promised himself that he’d never put himself in an if only position. As a result, he was a far more careful, more controlled guide for it. Stone and Cam called it anal. He called it smart. “This has nothing to do with Sam.”

They all looked at him with varying degrees of concern. In general, they weren’t an overly demonstrative family, which wasn’t a surprise when one considered their childhood. Annie had done her best to help, but the truth was, she’d been barely out of her teens herself, and they’d needed a jail warden far more than they’d needed a caregiver. Still, she’d somehow pulled it off, getting the three of them into adulthood without any jail time. She hadn’t done it by being a softie. “This has nothing to do with Sam,” he insisted. “What happened to her sucks, and yeah, I think about her, but me needing to get out of here has nothing to do with her, nothing to do with any of you actually, and everything to do with me.” He just needed to go, to get as far away from that daily dose of overwhelming love and happiness soaking the entire lodge. “Until another big trip comes along, I’ll just lighten the load around here with the shorter trips, I guess.”

“Fine with me,” Cam said. “We’re overbooked, and so far the only response to our ad has been either crazy, adrenaline-rush junkies or people who lied on their app and don’t know a snowcat from a snowmobile. But now that we have you sort of captive for the next few months…”

“We’ll definitely take advantage,” Stone finished. “In fact, we have a new client, some CEO who met you on your glacier trip. He wants to take his VPs on a memorable seven-day trek out to Weststar Peak, and by memorable, he means he wants to kick the VPs’ asses. He’s asked for some video to see the landscape before he decides for sure. Cam was going to go out there today, but you can do it.”

“Fine.”

“Which leaves me free this afternoon.” Cam waggled a brow at Katie, who grinned.

Stone pulled up the schedule on the computer and they spent the next half hour reworking it, taking trips from Cam’s and Stone’s queue and loading up TJ. When they were done, TJ looked at both of his brothers. “So whose idea was it for Harley to go to Desolation Wilderness alone?”