Insight (Web of Hearts and Souls #1)(106)

“Willow, you better calm down. Landen will come in here,” Olivia warned.

I glanced to the window. Landen and Chrispin were playing football with little Preston. Libby was cheering them on from our porch.

Landen and I can now use each other’s gifts as our own. He was sure to feel my panic, my fear. As my eyes landed on him he froze in mid-play and looked in my direction. I walked over to the window, smiled and pushed my fears away so he would think I was all right. As he fought with his natural instinct to protect me, he hesitated at first, then finally nodded and resumed playing the game.

I turned and walked slowly back to the table and stared down at the photo. An eerie sense of déjà vu haunted me as I gazed at the image from long ago. I could have never loved him—could I? The past months came rushing through my mind: the day Drake had found me at the lake, our fight in the string, and finally the moments he held me, shielded by a white glow. Until now, I had let myself relish in victory, but I was a fool—this was not over.

I felt Clarissa’s intent to see me, her emotion moving closer to my front door. In a panic—wanting to hide any evidence that connected me to Drake Blakeshire I grabbed the photo and ran to the stairs. Stunned by my sudden outburst, Olivia chased after me.

“Where are you going?” she yelled.

I nodded my head to the open door that Clarissa was about to walk through. Olivia then turned and saw her walking toward my front porch. “Wait,” Olivia shouted. “Clarissa was with me when I found the photo. She already knows.” By the time she finished her vain attempt to comfort me I was already at the top of the stairs. I turned, gazed down at Olivia and swallowed hard, assuming they had told Chrispin and Dane. That I was the last in our circle to know how horrible of a soul I was in my past.

“Just us,” Olivia swore, cautiously climbing the stairs, not trusting any reaction I may have.

Hearing Olivia’s promise, Clarissa stepped shyly through the threshold. Olivia gave Clarissa a guilty glance, then motioned for her to follow us. I turned and crossed the open hall to the room I was escaping into.

This was my studio two walls were all windows, large doorways led to the second story porch. Blank canvases lined the white walls. Landen told me it was the first room he designed for this house. A shy smile emerged on my lips as I thought of him, how aware and connected he seemed to be with my every desire. I didn’t deserve him—this photo in my hand proved that.

I shuffled my feet across the floor and opened the doors to let the fresh air in. I needed to breathe. It felt like the world was closing in around me.

“I guess you showed her,” Clarissa muttered as they caught up to me.

Olivia nodded. Regret was dominating her emotion. Sometimes I wish I could turn off this insight of mine, feeling others so clearly, it robbed me of the ignorance I wanted to hide behind.

“Where did you find it?” I asked under my breath.

Clarissa walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “We told your mother we would bring back things that were salvaged from your childhood home each time we went to Franklin. We were packing boxes up when an envelope fell over. That photo fell out.”

I wasn’t over the pain of losing that house, which Landen and the others had to burn to the ground in order to stop Drake from owning anything that connected him to my essence. I wasn’t over the idea that dark magic really did exist in this world. That I was, in a sense, at war with it.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Olivia said, walking to my side.

“I just don’t see how it’s possible. How this could be real?” I whispered, looking down at the photo in my hand. Drake’s image was breathtaking. Perfect in every way and my image could not be happier to be at his side. A sick feeling rose and settled in the back of my throat. I struggled to remain calm to fight back the emotions that would send Landen to my side.

This felt so wrong. The idea of me and Drake as a couple felt horribly wrong, for a host of reasons that I could not begin to explain. It was as if my soul knew secrets and did not trust me enough to speak of them.

“It’s a photo. It doesn’t represent a life with someone. It could have been taken before you found Landen,” Clarissa assured, rubbing my back while trying to hide the lie in her voice. She knew, like I did, that somewhere in time I must have loved Drake. I couldn’t figure out why she was so at ease with this. Landen was her brother; her heritage taught her that soul mates are eternal. Clarissa should be full of rage for the fact that apparently I had forsaken a universal vow.

I wanted to hide behind her lie and believe that I’d only loved Landen, but the sickening feeling was growing more unbearable. I knew that it wasn’t true. I nodded to give them peace, even smiling a little to hide my raging emotions beneath a calm surface. I was getting good at that, pushing down my fears and putting on a strong front. I had no choice. My entire life had been flipped upside down without warning. Though I had found Landen, I knew there was a long dark road ahead of us.

“You haven’t told Dane and Chrispin, have you?” I questioned.

They both said no at once. They knew that lying to me was useless. I had almost mastered Landen’s insight of hearing truth in words. I could only sense truth as they spoke.

“Chrispin doesn’t need another reason to hate Drake,” Olivia said, feeling remorseful.

Chrispin had lost his father, Livingston, by Drake’s hand. The salt in the wound was when we all learned that Drake was one of Livingston’s sons, binding Drake to all of us by blood.