Ink and Bone(64)

He gave a little laugh. “Don’t you know I’ll go with you anywhere, Fin?”

She did know that. He had the most faithful heart of anyone she’d ever known. Something in her that she hardened against him softened once more. She laced her fingers through his and felt his energy warm and good.

“You want to work?” he asked. He put the pages down beside the bed. They were photographs of historic documents, hard to decipher, but Finley had a mental model of the area now, some idea how close to the path an entrance might be. But a lot could have changed since those maps were drawn. Nature was in constant motion, always changing and renewing as much as it appeared to stay the same.

“No,” she said. “Not really.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. He pressed his mouth to hers. He tasted of peppermint; the stubble on his jaw was pleasantly rough on her skin. She disappeared into the sweet softness of his lips, the strength, the heat of him. She gave in. It felt good not to fight, not to always keep trying to do what was right, as opposed to what she wanted. Which seemed always to be two very different things.

“Fin,” Rainer whispered, throaty and soft. “I thought you didn’t want this anymore.”

She didn’t answer him, just peeled his shirt off as he unbuttoned hers. She let him lift her, wrapping her legs around him. His living space was spare and dingy with a small refrigerator and a hot plate on a countertop, a light bulb hanging from a wire in the ceiling. It was cold, a draft of icy air coming in from the back door that led to the alley behind the shop. There was no place she’d rather be.

“I love you,” he breathed in her ear.

She let him slide off her jeans, and she ran her hands along his arms, over the dragon and the phoenix in flames, over the bouquet of black roses, and the burning man. She ran her hands through his hair, down the strong muscles of his back, shivering as he buried his face in the curve of her neck.

She didn’t answer him. But she did love him. She loved his hot temper and his desire to possess her. She loved his talent and his kindness, his boyish sweetness. She loved the way she felt when they were together, desired, safe. She even loved all the wild emotions he invoked in her. All the other things, all the reasons why not, had receded from her memory. Or maybe they were the reasons why. Because the things that hurt were very often the things that made you feel most alive, like the ink on her skin, the storm of her emotions.

Even as she disappeared into Rainer, Finley was aware of Abigail who watched from the corner of the room, her face impassive and cool. What was Rainer to Abigail? Just another shiny thing she wanted, that she was using Finley to have. Or was it that she was trying to lead Finley to self-destruct? As often as she’d seen Abigail, as connected as they were, Finley still wasn’t sure what she wanted, if she was good at heart or bad to the bone. Maybe like Finley, she was a little of both.

Finley pulled Rainer close, then pushed him down so that she could climb on top of him. He unlatched her lacy bra and tossed it, gave her that wild little boy smile that always thrilled her, lit her up inside. Then there was a flicker of worry across his face. He took her hand and kissed her fingers.

“Are you sure, Fin?” he said. “Don’t play me, okay. I’ve got too much skin in this game.”

He was so alive, such warm flesh, and so much light in his eyes.

“I’m sure,” she said. When she put her hand to his face, she saw the shadow of Abigail’s hand. In the mirror across the shop, Finley saw Abigail, hair flowing around her like flames, astride Rainer where Finley should be.

Finley felt a lash of anger, and she let it expel Abigail, push her back and away.

No, said Finley. He’s mine.

Abigail retreated to the corner, watching. When Finley looked back at Rainer, he was staring at Finley, seeing her, not Abigail.

“It’s you,” he said. “It’s always only been you.”

She only has as much power as you give her, Agatha had told Finley. You are flesh and bone. You make the rules.

Up until that moment, Finley hadn’t believed her.

i had a dream. hello. Fin?? heeeellllllooooo???

u know what time it iz luzr?

didja get dat? I had a DREAM.

really.

yeeaahh. im like u now.

ok. biting.

im gonna be the worldz most famous snowboarder. BAzillions in sponsorships. girlz toss their bras at me when I win the olympic gold yo.

way better than my dreams. wenz ur first snowboarding lesson?

Aw wrz the love? U know I kill on the boardz.

It was three in the morning, Finley tangled up in Rainer who slept like the dead. The phone gave off its unnaturally bright glow, lighting the room.

Ur not at gmas. Ooo ur at Rainers. Telling mom.

How wud u know?

Find my frenz.

Ugh, the Find My Friends app. She’d let her stupid brother follow her and now all he had to do was look at his screen to find her on a map. She clicked, scrolled over, and turned it off, making her status unavailable.

I just shut it off.

ha ha too late.

donchu dare tell mom.

i won’t. just like I won’t tell you that dadz been here all week.

when are they going to grow up?

looks like never. they seem . . . happy.

good for them.

don’t be a hater.

go to sleep luzer and dream of all your groupies cuz that’s closest ur gonna get to any real action.