Initiative (Suncoast Society #31)(50)

Maybe you already know this about her and that’s why she’s chosen you.

Either way, keep this in mind—she is not a weak person. But there is a part of her that craves the security that being owned mentally and emotionally gives her. Is it because of the shitty relationship with her parents? Who knows? I’m not a shrink.

Don’t ever mistake her submission to you as weakness. She is one of the smartest, strongest people I know, and for her to trust you enough to give you that kind of control over her takes a lot of strength on her part. Never take her for granted. Never forget how special she is. She will be absolutely and completely devoted to you. All she asks for in return is that you never violate the trust she’s placed in you.

I won’t say I was perfect. I’m not narcissistic. I know I stumbled and made mistakes along the way, especially early on. Maybe I should have tried to push her a little more out of her comfort zone and gotten involved in the local BDSM community again. I don’t know. Before I met her, I was involved with a group whom Ed knows. You can talk to him. I’m guessing he probably still has connections there and can introduce you to people, if you aren’t part of that group already.

She was terrified of us being outed. More for my sake than hers, actually. She worried about what people would think of me. Frankly, I didn’t give a shit what people thought about me, but in that way, I did cave to her.

I always worried if I went before her how she would get on without the structure, without the emotional safety our dynamic and our relationship gave her. Without friends who “knew” about this part of us to help her through it. Hopefully Ed and Kristin and others have been there for her. I don’t know how long it’s been since I died, but I hope she hasn’t suffered alone in that time.

Please, love her. Cherish her. Protect her. Don’t be afraid to own her, and don’t be afraid to give her what she needs. If you aren’t experienced in BDSM, Ed can give you a lot of contacts to help you through that part, if you aren’t into it already. It’s not about just beating someone or ordering them around. It’s about understanding what they need and giving it to them.

I’ll admit I’m a little bit of a sadist. I love spanking her, and then making her orgasm until she has to safeword. I love tying her up. There are a lot of things that, if you talk to her and ask her about them, she’ll tell you. Even if just for her sake, find out what those things are and learn about them. You might find you grow to like them, too, when you see her reactions to them.

If you can’t take care of her like that, then do her and yourself a favor and end things now. Don’t lead her on. Don’t give it a try even though you loathe it. She won’t be happy in the long run if she doesn’t have that. Vanilla just doesn’t do it for her. Being kinky is hardwired into her brain the way it is hardwired into my brain. Better to admit it before you waste good years of her life and yours forcing something that’s doomed.

If you can do this, though, just know that you’ll have the best woman who ever walked the face of the planet at your side. Intelligent, sweet, beautiful—my very good girl.

Please love her and take good care of her. She’s my most precious possession and all I want for her is to be happy and safe and loved.

I left her a letter for Ed to give to her upon my passing. You’re free to read that as well, if she wants you to. The gist of it was that I wanted her to go on and find love again, to find a new Master who was worthy of her. You can let her read this, if you want. If you’re good enough for her, if she loves and trusts you, and if Ed had cleared it, then you have my blessings to be her new Master.

I wish you the best, and hope that the two of you have many good years together.

Best wishes,

John Costello



Grant sat back and took a deep breath.

“Well?” Ed finally asked.

He nodded at Ed’s envelope. “You first.”

Ed took a letter opener and opened it, quickly scanning the card inside. “Whew. It just says when you’re done to take the letter back, that you can make a copy of it, if you want, and for me to hold onto it…in case.”

“In case things don’t work out?”

“Right.” He returned the card to the envelope and tossed it onto the folder. “That’s a damn relief. I thought he’d pull a Kaden on me.”

“How so?”

“Long story.” He nodded toward the letter. “And that?”

He handed it over, and the envelope. “Here. Read it yourself.”

He sat back as Ed did just that. While what Susie had already told them about John made him respect the man, reading the letter from him reinforced that opinion.

When Ed finished reading, he laid the pages on his desk. “Wow,” he quietly said. “I thought dealing with Kaden had prepared me for anything.” He looked up at Grant. “While I suspect there won’t be any do-overs for her, did you want to leave anything…just in case?”

He thought about it, then let out a little laugh. “Sure, but he said it better than I could, and adding, ‘Ditto, me, too,’ to the bottom of that letter seems a little rude.”





Ed made him a copy of the letter and returned the original to the file. Sitting in his car out in the parking lot, waiting for the AC to cool it down, Grant studied the letter again.