Infinite Possibilities (The Secret Life of Amy Bensen #2)(63)

This is my fault, Lara, and I’m sorry. I love you and I love Mom and Dad. I would never do anything to hurt you and it kills me to know that I can’t just make this go away.





Chad





His words stab me in the heart a million times over. The bottle doesn’t save him. It saves me. And I wait for some kind of meltdown, but it doesn’t come. It’s there, though, simmering in a hole inside me that was carved with what I thought was his death.

In this instant, I seem to be in that zone of mine, that place my mind takes me when I’m least capable of handling reality and have to survive. I hand the note to Jared and calmly start rolling the other papers back up. Liam’s hand goes to my chin, pulling my gaze to his. “Nothing in that letter says he’s dead.”

“I know I--” Pain rips through my pelvic area and I hunch forward, forgetting the other two men to press my hand between my thighs. “Oh...Oh Liam.”

“What is it, baby? What is it?”

“Call Dr. Murphy. Call her now.” I grab the seat back Jared occupies and another cramp rips through my abdomen.

“Get her on the line now,” Liam is saying into the phone. “I don’t know where she’s at. Just get her.”

A damp sticky sensation forms between my legs and I look down to see blood seeping through my jeans. “No. No. This can’t be happening. No. Liam, no.” I turn to him. “I’m bleeding. I’m bleeding.”

Liam curses. “Get us to the hospital now.”

Jared curses and says, “What the f*ck is going on back there?”

I hear Tellar say something to him, but I don’t know what, and really don’t care. Liam pulls me to him and I grab his shirt. “I got you, baby. I told you that. I got you.”

“This is why I didn’t want to be pregnant. I lose everyone.” My eyes burn but not nearly as much as my soul. “Everyone. I’ll lose you too if you stay with me.”

“You aren’t going to lose me,” he promises.

“But you can’t tell me I’m not losing the baby, can you?”

He caresses my hair. “Whatever happens, we’ll handle it together, baby.”

“Wrong answer. Wrong answer.” I bury my face in his chest. He was supposed to tell me it‘s going to be okay, like he always does. Instead, he cups my head and holds me like he’s afraid he’s going to lose me. I squeeze my eyes shut, the dampness clinging to my cheeks and the prickling in my head is welcome over the cramping in my belly. And for once, the past is easier to deal with than the present.

The sound of fire trucks fills the air and I hurt. Oh God, I hurt all over. It’s all there is, but for the smoke. I can’t escape the smell and slowly I become aware of the crackling of flames and everything comes back to me. My mother’s screams. Mom. Mom. I try to lift my head but I can’t. Tears spill from my eyes and I feel someone’s hand on my wrist, then my back.

“Holy f*cking shit, tell me she’s okay. I need her to be okay.”

Chad! I shout in my head at the sound of my brother’s voice but my lungs and throat burn too much for words and my neck is so very heavy.

“Are you insane, boy?” another man with a familiar voice I can’t place, demands. “I told you I’d take care of Lara. Get out of here before they come for you.”

“Is my f*cking sister okay? I need to know she’s okay.”

“She’s unconscious, but her vitals are good.”

“Then I’m taking her with me.”

“Is she okay, Dad?” yet another male voice asks.

“Get the hell out of here, Luke!” the first man shouts. “Go now.”

“But Dad--”

“Go! You saw nothing and no one.”

“But--”

“Go!”

There are footsteps and the sirens are blasting near my ears now. I tell myself to lift my head. Lift my head. But I can’t.

“You go too, Chad,” the man commands. “Go now.”

“I am not leaving without her,” Chad repeats.

“She needs a doctor,” the man says. “Once I know she’s okay, I’ll get her out of the hospital. You just get that paperwork we need.”



I blink awake with a cramp and I hear Liam’s urgent voice asking, “Is the baby okay, doctor?”

I blink to find I’m in a hospital bed and a man with grey hair wearing blue scrubs is leaning over me. “I need to run some tests. If you could step out--”

“No.” I grab Liam’s hand. “No. I need him here.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” He levels the doctor with a stare. “I’m staying.”

The doctor looks like he wants to argue but focuses on me instead. “How do you feel?”

“I’m still cramping and I think I’m still bleeding.”

He studies me intently. “Were you dizzy when you passed out?”

“I have...another condition,” I comment. “I black out.”

“Her doctor in New York is treating her for it.”

“Can we get her doctor on the phone?”

“I did better,” Liam says. “I have her on a plane headed here.”