Inevitable Detour (Inevitability Book 1)(27)

But there’s no denying there’s something more intense developing between us.

The careful way in which Farren holds me as we begin to dance to a slow song—like I’m fragile and he’s the only one equipped to care for me—strengthens my suspicion that he’s falling for me too, in some way.

I relax into him, trusting him. Our bodies sway to melodic lyrics that speak of the beauty of having someone to lean on when times get tough. How fitting. As the song continues, I feel Farren’s gaze on me. Glancing up, I find his emerald eyes burning with strong desire and need, assuring me that I am not the only one feeling this heady attraction.

The side of Farren’s mouth curves up slightly when he sees his emotions reflected in my eyes. Quietly, he implores, “Essa, what are you doing to me?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

I lower my chin and lean forward to place my cheek against his solid shoulder. Farren’s fingers wind through my hair, loosening the strands. Pins fall to the ground haphazardly, but I don’t care. When my hair tumbles to my shoulders, I lean back, my gaze questioning.

Farren just smiles and shrugs lightly. “I like it better this way,” he says.

I nod once, and our eyes remain locked as Farren continues to comb through my hair with his fingers. He uses one hand at first, then both. His ministrations are gentle. I like it. I like the possessiveness in his touch. I like the familiarity. And I like that Farren seems to intuitively know how to touch me.

It makes me want him more than ever.

I lower my gaze to his lips, full and moist from the wine. With a confidence I never felt before, I stand on my tiptoes and lean closer to him. I tilt my head slightly in what I hope is viewed as an invitation.

Farren responds immediately. His grasp in my hair tightens and he urges my head back. Lowering his lips to my neck, his tongue darts out to taste my skin. “Delicious,” he says.

I shudder in the best kind of way and murmur, “Farren.”

With his hands remaining in my hair and my head still tilted back, he kisses me everywhere…down my neck, across my shoulder blade, back up to my jaw. “Oh,” I gasp.

His lips are everywhere but where I want them most—on mine.

I slide my hands up his solid and wide back. I caress the softness at the nape of his neck. And then my hands are in his hair. So silky and soft, just how I imagined it would be. When I pull at the ends of his hair gingerly, Farren groans huskily.

His lips capture mine, at last, and he kisses me hard. This is heaven, a dance of lips and tongues. Farren tastes like red wine and man, and I become drunk of him.

He presses his body into mine when I moan, and I am made fully aware that his kisses aren’t the only thing that’s hard. As his arousal continues to deliciously press into my abdomen, I kiss him like crazy.

Soon, we’re practically bruising one another as our hands and mouths express all of this pent-up want and need.

I let out a light moan, and, between kisses, Farren says, “Tell me what you want. Say it to me.”

“I want,” I breathe out a stuttered breath. “I want…”

I don’t know what I want, not exactly. My body wants Farren, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, but my inexperienced self urges me to slow down.

“Essalin?” Farren pulls back slightly, his eyes boring into mine, searching for a go-ahead or a denial.

What will it be?

“I’ll do anything you want,” I blurt out. “I don’t know how great I’ll be, but I want to be with you. I’ll try to please you.”

I sound like what I am—a mostly inexperienced young woman who doesn’t know what she’s getting into. Understanding dawns in Farren’s eyes. His hold on my hair loosens, and though one hand remains wrapped loosely in the long tresses, his other hand skims down to the small of my back.

“Essa…” He exhales loudly. “Look, we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“But I am ready,” I insist. “I want to be with you.”

Farren eyes me skeptically. “You really think you’re ready for what this is leading to? You really think you’re ready for me?”

Holy hell, I don’t know. What I do know is that the starry-eyed girl part of me wants to believe if we become intimate it will lead to something more. But the practical woman side of me knows this might only be about sex. Mind-blowing, amazing sex I’d surely never forget, but sex for sex’s sake, nonetheless.

And the problem with that is that I want more. I don’t want a sex-only thing with Farren. Even so, I’m torn. I don’t know how to proceed.

I try to look away, but Farren’s hand goes to my cheek. I have no choice but to meet his gaze when he urges me to.

Quietly, I say, “I’m just not all that experienced, Farren.”

His brows shoot up, and I quickly amend, “I don’t mean I’m a virgin…if that’s what you’re thinking.”

The look on his face tells me that’s precisely what he’s thinking.

I want to be forthcoming, so I admit, “I’ve only had sex one time, though.”

“Essa…” Farren says on a sigh.

I close my eyes and say, “I guess I’m just confused. I don’t really know how this is supposed to work.” Oh, what am I babbling about?