In Safe Hands (Search and Rescue #4)(88)

Soon, though, he went quiet. That was scarier than his shouts. Had he been overcome by the gas? Had he left her to be blown to bits, alone in death as she’d been so much of her life?

When she heard the muffled sound of his voice, relief poured over her, quickly followed by guilt. He shouldn’t be in here. He shouldn’t have to die because of Daisy’s mixed-up mind. His unclear words continued, and she assumed he was talking on the radio. When even that stopped, she drew in a shaky breath.

“Ian?” she called through the door, his name cracking in the middle. “I’m sorry for the knee strike.”

“It’s okay, Daisy.” His voice was still loud enough to reach her, but he’d quit shouting. “You really need to leave.”

“I can’t.” With all the weights she found back on the rack, she sat heavily on the mat. The air around her felt weighted, thick with anticipation, ready to explode at any second. “I’m sorry.”

“C’mon, Daisy,” he coaxed. “I like you. Even Rory likes you, and she has a very limited number of people she can tolerate. We don’t want you to be blown to bits.”

His words reminded her that she wasn’t the only one in danger, that she’d be responsible for this brave, beautiful man’s death. Because she was a coward, Ian could die. That seemed so wrong. “Please go, Ian. I don’t want you to be in bits, either.”

“You’ll just be outside for a little while,” he said, ignoring her plea. “They’ve shut off the main line, and they’re setting up the ventilator fan to exhaust the house. As soon as it’s clear, you can come back inside.”

Instead of answering, she drew her legs to her chest and rested her cheek on her knee. How could she explain the mind-erasing terror that took over when she thought about stepping outside? It wasn’t rational, wasn’t logical, but it was real, and it just might kill her and Ian.

“Jennings is worried about you. He wants you out of here, too.”

Just the mention of Chris broke something inside her, and she started to cry. Daisy tried very hard to keep silent, grateful for the muffling effects of the door between them. She’d been so proud of her baby steps, of the unlocked inner door and of staying conscious despite her glimpse of the outside. It had given her hope that she’d eventually get better.

Now, though, curled in a ball and sitting in a dark gym, a dead bolt and a rack of weights separating her from the fireman who was risking his life trying to save her, she didn’t see how she’d ever be worthy of someone like Chris, a hero who ran toward danger. All she did was hide from imaginary bogeymen.

“Daisy? You still conscious in there?”

If she didn’t talk, he’d think she was passed out—or dead. “Yeah.” It was impossible to hide the tears in her voice, and she flushed with that additional shame.

“Did you hear me before? About Jennings?”

“Yeah.” She wiped her cheek on the knee of her pants. “He deserves better.”

There was a pause, and then he groaned. “Are you serious? You’re going to make me do this?”

“Do what?”

“Have this conversation.”

“What conversation?”

“This conversation. The one where you make something simple complicated.”

“What do you mean?” She scooted over next to the door so she could lean against the wall and hear Ian better. As much as she didn’t want him to risk his life by staying with her, it was so comforting to have him there.

“If you want to be together, be together. Stop making it so complicated.”

“Does Rory make things complicated?” Daisy knew she was changing the subject, but she didn’t want to talk about Chris, not when she was on the verge of being blown up and never seeing him again. The thought made her want to bawl like a baby, and she’d just managed to control her tears.

“Nope.” His tone was positively smug. “That’s one of the reasons I’m marrying her.”

“Marrying her?” she echoed. “You two are engaged? Congratulations!” It occurred to her that it was a strange conversation to be having in a gas-filled house while barricaded in her training room. The fear eased when she talked to him, though.

“Don’t tell her yet,” he warned as his radio chattered faintly in the background. “I want it to be a surprise.”

“Surprise? You’re not going to put the ring in her pulled pork at Levi’s or something equally cheesy and public, are you? Because I think Rory would hate that. Plus, she might break a tooth or swallow it or something. I’ve never understood how burying a diamond in food is romantic.” Granted, all of her experience with proposals had been from watching TV or movies or reading about them in books.

“No.” By the heaping amount of defensiveness he managed to pack into that one-word denial, Daisy was pretty sure he’d been planning something close. “Nothing like that. I just want it to be a surprise.”

“I won’t tell.”

“Thanks.” There was a pause before he spoke again. “Do you seriously think that Jennings isn’t full-out panting for you?”

The change of topic threw her. “What? No, I…I mean…what?”

“Because if you even glance in his direction during training, he starts flexing.”