In For the Kill (McClouds & Friends #11)(58)

“Was it after her mom died?”

“When her mom was killed, you mean,” Rachel corrected. “But, no, I was talking about last year, when you were in the hospital.”

Sam’s jaw sagged. “Huh?”

“She practically lived at Legacy Emanuel when you were in the ICU,” Rachel informed him. “Mama drove down to Portland to get her when you got put into a normal room. They wouldn’t let me sleep in here with her, like usual. Mama did, because of her nightmares.”

His mouth was dry. “Nobody told me Sveti came to the hospital.”

Rachel shrugged. “Your family didn’t see her. They wouldn’t have recognized her if they had. Sveti’s friends with a nurse who works in the ICU. She let Sveti sit with you whenever your family wasn’t there.”

Sam’s mouth opened and closed. Nothing came out.

“You get shot a lot, don’t you?” Rachel’s voice was disapproving. “Mama says it’s a bad habit. The worst habit a boyfriend can have. Worse than smoking.”

Hysterical laughter burst out his nose. “You could say that.”

“You’re no good to Sveti if you get shot. Learn to duck, okay?”

“That’s the plan,” he assured her.

“Okay, then. My work here is done.” Rachel flounced toward the door, then turned. “Don’t touch her dinner, or I’ll tell Mama.”

Air whooshed out of him when the door shut. He thudded down onto the couch. She’d sneaked in and sat with him in the ICU when he was unconscious? God, what a waste. If only he’d woken up in time and busted her. What he could have accomplished, with months to ruthlessly play the convalescing invalid pity card. He would’ve had her nailed to the wall by now. He’d have closed the deal long before this seductive Illuxit bullshit ever came onto the horizon.

But what-ifs were a waste of time.

He stripped off his shirt and climbed into the bed wearing just his jeans, curling his body around hers. Her heartbeat felt rapid and hectic, as if she were dreaming. God knows about what. Something scary.

He wished he could crawl into her dreams and do battle with the monsters there. She deserved a champion, even inside her mind. Hell, especially inside her mind. She’d stood guard while he was in extremity. He could do the same. He lay wide-eyed in the darkness. Battle ready.

It happened a couple hours into his watch. Sveti exploded into movement, wailing something in Ukrainian. Good thing Rachel had given him a heads-up, because it would have scared the living shit out of him otherwise. He parried her blows and carefully rolled on top of her, containing her body without crushing it. She thrashed and yelled.

“Sveti, Sveti, Sveti,” he crooned, batting her clawed fingers away from his eyes. “Sveti, it’s me. It’s Sam.”

Slowly, her flailing ceased, easing down to a violent tremor. “Sam?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He dared, finally, to lift himself, reach to flip on a lamp. “You’re safe, baby.”

“Sam? Oh, God, I’m so sorry. Did I hit you?”

“Nah,” he lied. “Not very much. Little kitten paws.” Actually, his face smarted from the blows that had landed, but even a whack on the face from Sveti was sexually stimulating. He was really that f*cked up.

He pulled her close, but she wrenched away and huddled herself into a knot. Hugging her knees, hiding her face. He’d gotten familiar with that pose by now. “Nightmare?” he asked gently. “Tell me about it.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, actually, I do,” he said. “Come on. Tell me.”

He waited, stroking her back. Minutes went by. Her heart rate had eased off. He lifted her hair, exposing her face. “Tell me,” he urged.

She sighed, surrendering. “From when I was taken, years ago. One of our guards, Yuri. He was foul. He stank, and he was cruel, and violent, and he . . . well. Anyway . . .” Her voice trailed off.

Sam finally prompted her. “He sexually abused you?”

She shook her head. “He wanted to. He was working up to it. But the woman who watched us, Marina . . . she held him back. There had been this other girl, back in Kiev. She’d been raped by the men who had kidnapped her. She got some disease, maybe hepatitis. She had night sweats, fevers. Anyhow, when people came to test us, they found that Aleksandra’s organs were no longer viable. Big shake-up. Heads rolled.”

“Jesus,” he muttered. “What happened to her?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I woke up, and she was gone.”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said. “That’s awful.”

She nodded. “That’s the only reason he didn’t have sex with me,” she said. “Marina didn’t trust him not to be HIV positive, or whatever else. But he compensated by beating me. That excited him, too.”

He wound his arms around her again and squeezed her against himself. There wasn’t anything to say that wasn’t stupid or vapid.

“Aleksandra was the one who first explained sex to me.” Her voice was bleak. “That was my introduction to it. Straight from the mouth of a twelve-year-old girl who’d been kidnapped and gang-raped.”

Sam hid his face against her hair.

“See what my problem is? I’m as f*cked up as you might expect, considering what happened to me. You don’t want to get near it, Sam.”