Impossible To Resist (BWWM Romance Book 1)(70)
Feeling the same hunger for him that he felt for her, she tasted his tongue, twisting hers around it, and sucking gently on it as her belly tightened and everything in her felt like a riot of desire.
She turned her body fully toward him and slowly slid both of her knees up around him so that she was sitting on his lap facing him. As she moved her body gradually toward him, spreading her thighs as she went, she felt his rock solid erection press against her body and the feel of him against her made her gasp with intense need. He cried out softly as she began to move herself along the length of him, their swimsuits a thin barrier over their bodies.
He clenched his hands on her hips, pulling her down harder against his erection, rubbing it on her and making her sigh softly as their kisses deepened and he lost himself to his desire for her. Connor’s mouth left hers, trailing slowly down her neck, biting her skin gently as he kissed and pulled at her skin with his teeth and lips, moving lower and lower as they moved their hips together, pressing hard with desire against one another.
His mouth descended to the swell of her breasts and he kissed at them hungrily, his mouth moving the material of her bikini top aside until he had captured her dark nipple in between his lips and teeth and was sucking at it, rolling the tip of his tongue over it while she arched her back and rode herself against him harder.
Connor’s hands slid beneath her bikini bottoms at the waist, and he slowly moved them over the round flesh of her ass as he pulled her tight against his groin. Everything in him was lost in her, and there was nothing in the universe but her, until he let her nipple go, running his hot tongue over it again and again, kissing and pulling at it, and then he looked up into her face and everything in him stopped.
She looked down at him, hungry for him, aching to feel him deep inside of her, but when their eyes met, he gasped and a tidal wave of guilt washed over him and bound him tightly. He pushed her away from him suddenly, and she stared at him with wide eyes, full of confusion.
“What… What is it? Did I hurt you somehow?” she asked sadly, shaking her head and reaching her hands to him.
He drew in a deep breath and turned away from her for a moment, his hands pushing hers gently away. “No. You didn’t hurt me. I was hurting you. I was hurting us, and failing in the biggest possible way; letting you down.” He felt wretched for what he had allowed himself to do.
She shook her head again at him and tried to get close to him again. “You aren’t hurting me or us, Connor, I want this with you!” she said in an anxious voice as her eyes searched his downward turned face. “Please… don’t stop. Don’t push me away. I want you… I want you so much…” she said softly, reaching her hands under the water and sliding them up his thighs toward his groin. “Connor… we both want this.”
He shook his head and closing his hands around her forearms, gently pushed her away again. “NO! We can’t do this! It isn’t right! You are my student and I’m your teacher, and there’s nothing right about this at all! I have a duty to you, and allowing this to happen between us is failing that duty in the worst possible way!”
His eyes met hers and he spoke seriously to her. “I want you more than you could imagine, but that doesn’t make it right, and that doesn’t mean that we should give in to our desires. We are not in a position to have a relationship like this! We have to maintain our roles. I cannot let you down this way! I won’t!” he insisted, pushing himself up to his feet.
She felt hot tears sting her eyes and she looked away from him, reaching her hand over to the material of her bikini top and pulling it to cover her exposed breast. He sighed and reached for her, bringing her to her feet in front of him. He placed both of his hands on either side of her face and tilted it upward to him. She looked at him sadly and he saw a tear as it rolled down her sculpted cheek.
Connor shook his head. “God, you are so beautiful, and I feel so lucky and flattered that of all the men you could have, you somehow decided that you want me, but you and I aren’t able to have each other that way. It’s my job to teach you and guide you, not to make love with you, no matter how much I want to.” He shook his head and looked up for a long moment, taking a deep breath. “God, I want to.” He sighed and then his eyes lowered to hers again.
“You deserve to be in a loving relationship with a young man closer to your age who isn’t in any kind of position of authority over you. An equal. Someone who doesn’t have a responsibility to you the way that I do. Please understand…” he whispered, begging her to see the rational perspective of their situation, rather than the emotional one.
She sighed and pulled his hands from her face, nodding slightly and turning away from him. She knew what he meant, but it did nothing to dampen the fires that burned hotly inside the depths of her, the fires that made her ache for his touch, his kiss, his body to be inside of hers.
He followed her out of the hot tub and they walked back to their room silently, each of them saddened and hungry for the other. They each took a turn rinsing off in the shower and putting their pajamas on, and neither of them said a word to the other as they went to bed with their backs to each other, both of them barely one breath away from rolling over and reaching for the other to make love.
It was a long while before either one of them fell asleep, but they both finally did, and though neither of them had a restful sleep, both of them woke with a start as the phone rang in the morning.