Image (Insight #3)(71)

“You knew in enough time to put your mother to sleep...you watched me suffer with the idea...you felt my grief,” I argued.

“What did you want me to tell you – that I’d seen you hold a diamond blade against your chest more times than I care to recall?”

“You knew it wasn’t you that had to die – why would you make me suffer like that?”

“I didn’t know. The scroll, Alamos, Perodine...they all said it would move through the blood of Jayda.”

I stepped closer to him and pointed my finger at his chest. “My children stayed with my sister, and I raised yours. You knew that; you knew the descendants never moved - only the sisters.”

He held my hand against his chest, and my breath became measured as I felt his addictive sensation. I glared up into his dark eyes, which were shadowed by dark circles.

“You want to know what I remember?” he asked. I nodded. “I remember an old man looking into a small pool of water. He told us that evil would consume Jayda and subdue the power; you were Jayda, I was the power. You were determined to take your life to protect mine - to protect our world. You demanded that every diamond be shaped into a blade. Frankly, I’m surprised that every table in Analess doesn’t have one.” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “The worst part is, every time a shadow would cross our path, you’d raise a blade to your chest.” His eyes began to glisten. I knew he was holding back tears. “We lived in terror – terror that we’d be taken from one another,” he said in a voice just above a whisper. “I admit I was relieved to hear that in this life I was the blood of Jayda and you were the power...I wouldn’t have to watch you end your life.”

“You could have told us the children were never moved,” I said, wanting to be angry with him but finding it harder by the moment.

“How was I to know that our children never told their children? We didn’t hide it from them; they knew our family was divided,” he said.

“You had to have known,” I retorted.

“This may be hard for someone like you to understand,” he said slowly.

I stepped back, offended. I felt like he was talking down to me.

He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. “Listen to me before you lose your temper. This is hard for you to understand because you don’t dream like the rest of us. Dreams aren’t lucid; they shift forward, backward, side to side. Sometimes you live them, sometimes you observe them, and you can have hundreds in one night. You’re asking me to put all my dreams in order; you think that they’re clear to me? That I can recall them without any uncertainty? I’m only nineteen; it would be impossible for me to have lived all those lives in detail.”

He was right: I didn’t know how to dream like the rest of the world. The only dreams I remember having in my entire life were the ones I had inside Evelyn’s body - and they were out of control.

“They have to be clear enough for you to believe them soundly,” I said, staring back at him.

“You’re clear; you...are...always...clear,” he said as he let his hands fall from my shoulders. “Do you want to know how I reason that this hell is reality?” he asked.

I stared back at him. He let his fingers run through the energy that was surrounding me. “Because in this life your energy, your power, is stronger than ever before - leaving me no choice but to believe that the worlds I go to in my dreams are in a distant past,” he said.

“Was Landen in that life? Did I leave him for you? Do you remember?” I asked with pleading eyes. He stared back at me and turned his head slowly from side to side. “There was another man. I had children,” I argued.

“It was Dane,” Drake said as he tightened his jaw.

“What?!”

“Why do you think I can’t stand the sight of him near you? He was the one that refused to let your children come and live with us. You cried endlessly over them, and there was nothing I could do to help you.”

“Dane?” I said making a face. I loved Dane, but not in that way.

“He’s been in several of our lives,” Drake said.

“He’s a good guy,” I said - even though Dane’s behavior that day had been a bit off.

“He’s never wanted me to be with you - that’s for sure,” Drake answered.

“Have you ever seen Landen in your dreams?” I asked.

“Never,” Drake said in a serious tone. “There’s never been a doubt that you belonged to me,” he finished.

“You have doubt now,” I said, staring back at him.

Drake pointed in the direction of the study. “I can see how much he loves you,” he said. “It wasn’t clear to me until the demon stood between us.” He reached for my chest and let his hand rest where my wound was. “When you did this, I wasn’t strong enough to hold the darkness in myself so he could help you. He saw that and held it in himself so at least one of us could go to you. ”

Tears surfaced as I heard his words. “His love was strong enough to hold the demon inside of himself and strong enough to push him out – and after all that, he found the strength to heal you. He puts himself before the rest of the world. I have no choice but to respect him.”

“There’s someone that can love you the way he loves me,” I said, prepared to argue with him.