Ice (Elite Forces #1)(21)
“Oh. Well, that’s great,” I manage to say rather weakly. I have so many questions to ask. Like how in the hell I flew six and a half hours from Afghanistan to Germany without remembering a damn thing.
“You’ll be free to fly back to the States tomorrow morning. Tonight, I want you to rest.” She looks from me to Kaleb as if her statement was meant for him.
“I’m not leaving, Doc. No f*cking way,” he states demandingly.
“He’s fine.” I have things I want to talk to him about. He's one of the only people who can answer all of my questions.
“Very well. I’ll be back to check on you. If you need anything at all, please push this button and a nurse will help you with anything you need.” She pats my leg lightly. I watch her back until she disappears.
For the first time since I laid my eyes on Kaleb Maverick, I’m alone with him, free to do whatever I want with him, yet wanting absolutely nothing to do with him.
"Why are you here?" I can't help but sound irritated.
"Where the f*ck else would I be?" He sits back in his chair, kicked back, allowing my eyes to fall to his chest rising as he waits for my response.
"I don't know, but I don't need your ass watching over me. I'm fine."
"I never said you did. I'm here for me." Does he really think I'm an idiot?
"What exactly does me getting shot have to do with you?"
"You saved my ass in that mission." He sits up, leaning closer to the bed. Closer to me. Bringing his intensity into my bubble yet again.
"You're welcome." My sarcasm escapes before the nightmare flashes through my mind. I can see the boy’s face. He was on a mission to kill him, just like we were on a similar mission to kill anything in our way. He was so young, and it guts me to think of the shit these people feed their children just to attempt to get a surprise shot in on the enemy. Do they not have boundaries in their country to protect their futures and the people who will one day be the generation making decisions for them?
Tears fill my eyes as I replay the memories of watching him fall to the ground. I killed a child. I aimed my rifle at him and took the shot, knowing I would not miss. Flames fill my mind, pull me back to my conversation with Kaleb.
"Where's everyone else? Tell me they all made it out. Harris?" He stands when I ask about Harris. A ping of jealousy rushes across his face, but I don't care. I don't have time for his bullshit games. Harris is and will always be a soldier I care about.
"He's fine. He just left to get something to eat down the hall."
"He's here too?" The surprise in my voice is obvious. Since when did I become the bitch who needs bedside monitoring? I attempt to wipe the tears from my face and change the subject from what's truly burning me from the inside out.
"Yes. He disregarded my orders to leave. We need to talk about that."
"What's there to talk about?" Harris is a grown man who can make his own decisions. The mission is over. He has no say what any of us can do. Not anymore.
Kaleb stands over me. His eyes search for mine, and I quickly look down at my hands against the white sheet over my legs. I move the fingers of my good arm over the material and try to ignore the heat he's sending into my core. He makes me feel nervous as he stands there, and I welcome the sound of the door as Harris walks back in.
"Good f*cking morning, Elliot. It's nice of you to join us."
"Fuck off, Harris. Should've known you'd be eating while some of us here are having to do all the work." I'm not finished talking before he sits on the opposite edge of the bed from Kaleb and wraps his arms over my shoulders, being gentle as he does so.
"Leave it up to you to try to get a f*cking nap in on the job." I smile as he continues to tease me while Kaleb stays quiet. He remains standing and doesn't move an inch from his very close position right next to the bed.
My eyes graze his, and I try to think of the best way to get him to leave. Harris may need to be my out on this.
“Everyone else okay?” Looking at Harris, I begin to ignore Kaleb. Or at least it appears that way. My body knows he’s here, and no matter how hard I try to disregard him, I can't. He's under my skin and that makes a very bad recipe for disaster as I'm preparing to spend some time at home.
“All good. A few were banged up a bit there at the end, but nothing a little rest can't handle. It seems they're all excited to get the orders to head home to the States.”
“That sounds amazing.” It's been two years since I've seen most of my family in person. I know they miss me, and in a way I'm ready to be home, but I've left a piece of me behind in that desert. A piece I'm hoping like hell I’ll be able to cope with losing.
I continue to keep my issues hidden from the guys. I'm dying inside. I want to cry and scream from the top of my lungs for what I've done, but given the situation again, I'd do the same damn thing. I’d have to. He was aiming directly at my Commander. My job is to protect my team, no matter who I have to take out to do that.
I force myself to set it all to the back of my mind. There's plenty of time for me to deal with that in the days to come.
“You headed back home to Florida?” Harris’ hand on my leg pulls me from my thoughts. I'm due to have six months leave until I'm scheduled to return, but honestly, I don't know how long I have. I've signed up to return at any given point I'm needed. It's why I pushed myself so hard all these years to be the best I can be. I'm in the elite group of snipers they call on, and I'm willing to do what it takes to remain there.