I Stand Before You (Judge Me Not #2)(27)

I say in a quiet voice, “Trust me, Chase, out of this whole town, I’m the last person you should be asking these questions.”

He shakes his head and looks away. “That’s not an answer, so I’ll take it as yes, you expect me to f*ck up again.” He doesn’t sound angry, just resigned.

I’m so used to shutting people out and evading the tough questions. But if Chase is willing to be this real with me, then he deserves a real answer in return.

It takes me a minute to gather my courage, but I finally say, “Okay, it’s true, it has crossed my mind that you might screw things up again.” He winces, like my admission, said out loud, kind of hurts.

I hurry along. “But now that I’ve met you, I guess I don’t know what to think. I’m sorry I had doubts, Chase, but all those stories…” He rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter anyway. What I said before is true. I have no right to judge anyone in this town. God, if you only knew…” My mouth snaps shut. I’ve revealed too much in this effort to be honest.

I know from the way he’s watching me that Chase is waiting for elaboration. But I have nothing more to say on the subject. I pray he doesn’t push and make things awkward. Thankfully, he doesn’t.

Instead, he rubs the back of his neck and says slowly, “So, you’ve heard things, had doubts. That’s fine. But I’m not the same person I was four years ago.” His eyes meet mine, and it’s evident he’s speaking from the heart. This is as real as it gets.

“So,” he continues, “f*ck the rest of the congregation. What I want to know, Kay, is if you are going to give me a chance?”

I don’t hesitate. “Yes, I can. I will, definitely.” I mean it too.

He presses his lips together, smiles tightly. “Fair enough.”

This has been a heavy turn in a first conversation, but it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as one may expect. Still, for a moment, we both look everywhere but at each other. I want to lighten things back up, get back to flirting and having fun, and I think I know just what to do to make that happen.

I sigh dramatically and say, “Well, f*ck, I sure am glad we got that out of the way.”

I know the swear word will throw him for a loop—no one ever expects prim and proper me to toss around profanities. If they only knew, I am not so very wholesome. In any case, my tactic works. Chase’s eyes widen and meet mine.

“Gotcha,” I say.

And then we’re both laughing, like really laughing. And it’s good, like some little bridge between us has just been built.

“So, when do you start work at the school?” I ask when our laughter subsides.

“I’m supposed to start tomorrow,” he replies, shifting his tall frame. “Father Maridale wants me to clear out the principal’s office, start painting in there.”

“Oh, Mr. Kelly’s office.” I give a quick nod. “That’s good, it needs it.”

And does it ever, the walls are faded and dull, kind of gray. It’s anybody’s guess what color they once were. I suddenly have an idea, a way to show Chase I really meant it when I agreed to give him a chance.

“Actually,” I begin, “I teach over at the school, so I know every nook and cranny. If you want, I could stop by tomorrow and give you the grand tour. It’s kind of a small building, so it won’t take long, but at least you’ll know your way around after. What do you think?”

The flirtatious smile is back, and it’s like we’ve just passed another hurdle. “I think I’d like that very much,” Chase says softly.

I can’t help but smile in return; this gorgeous man just has that effect.

Things feel easy, relaxed, enough so that I tell Chase I’ll be working for the church this summer. Therefore I’ll be seeing him around a lot. Though I no longer plan to keep tabs on him, he’s obviously a decent guy.

I give him the story on why I’ll be covering for Connie, I tell him about the cruise she’s taking with her husband. The discussion then veers back to our tour plans, and Chase informs me he’s starting very early in the morning, way before I’m due in. We agree lunchtime will work best for my “tour.”

I ask him if he has a key to get in the school, because I could lend him mine and he could give it back to me when I see him. He thanks me for the offer, but says Father Maridale is giving him a key today.

“That’s why I’m here.” He glances to the rectory behind the church. “I should probably get going so I can catch him before he heads out.”

I redirect him to the church itself and tell him he’s more likely to find Father Maridale in the sacristy. Father likes to get to work on next week’s homilies right after Mass on Sundays. He can almost always be found seated at the desk next to the closet for the vestments. I tell him all this, and Chase thanks me for steering him in the right direction. We say our farewells, and he goes one way and I, another.

By the time I reach my car, I notice there’s something different in the way I feel. There’s a little more hop in my step perhaps. A squishy hop, as my flats are still wet, but a hop nonetheless.

I like Chase Gartner. I say it in my head, try it on for size. It feels right, so I say it again, this time out loud, as I get in my car. “I like Chase Gartner.”

Yeah, I do.