I See You(72)

‘I didn’t think at all.’ That wasn’t true. She’d been thinking about Lexi. It was inevitable, she’d known that as soon as the case came in. A girl, raped by a stranger on her way home from school. ‘I’ll take it,’ she’d told her DS instantly. She’d treated the victim with the compassion she had wished her sister had experienced, feeling like she was making a difference.

A few days later they brought in the offender; a DNA hit on a known sex offender. He declined a brief; sat smirking in the interview room in a paper suit. No comment. No comment. No comment. Then he yawned, as if the whole situation were boring him, and Kelly had felt the rage building inside her like a kettle about to boil.

‘So you were driving home …’ Nick prompted, when Kelly didn’t say anything. She forced herself to focus on Tillman.

‘I was coming past the station and I realised I was probably still over the limit from the night before.’ The corner of Tillman’s mouth curled into a smile, and Kelly realised he knew full well the admission could never result in legal proceedings. She would have bet her pension on Gordon Tillman being a regular drink driver: he was just the sort of arrogant wanker who would claim to drive better after a few pints. ‘I thought I’d better stop for a coffee, so I pulled over and asked a woman if there was somewhere nearby.’

‘Can you describe this woman?’

‘Mid thirties, blonde hair. Tidy figure.’ Tillman smiled again. ‘She recommended a café relatively close, and I asked if she wanted to come with me.’

‘You asked a complete stranger out for coffee?’ Kelly said, not bothering to disguise her disbelief.

‘You know what they say,’ Tillman said, the smirk still playing across his face, ‘a stranger’s simply a friend you haven’t met yet. She was giving me the eye as soon as I pulled up.’

‘Do you make a habit of asking women you haven’t met out for coffee?’ Kelly persisted.

Tillman took his time; looking Kelly up and down again, and shaking his head very slightly before answering. ‘Don’t worry, love, I only ask the pretty ones,’ he said.

‘If you could continue,’ Nick interrupted, ‘with your version of events.’ Tillman registered the emphasis, but carried on.

‘She got in, and we headed towards the café, but then she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.’ The grin on Tillman’s face made bile rise in Kelly’s throat. ‘She said she’d never done anything like this in her life, but she’d always had this fantasy about having sex with a stranger, and what did I think? Well,’ he laughed, ‘what would you think? She said she wasn’t going to tell me her name, and she didn’t want to know mine, and then she directed me to an industrial estate on the outskirts of Maidstone.’

‘And what happened there?’

‘You want all the details?’ Tillman leaned forward, looking at Kelly challengingly. ‘There’s a name for your sort, you know.’

Kelly didn’t miss a beat. ‘And there’s a name for your sort.’ There was a knot of rage in her stomach, and she concentrated on keeping it there.

There was a pause. Tillman smirked. ‘She gave me a blow-job, then I f*cked her. I offered her a lift back but she said she wanted me to leave her there. Part of the fantasy, I guess.’ He held Kelly’s gaze, as if he could sense there was a battle raging inside her; that this entire situation was unlocking something she’d so successfully suppressed. ‘She liked it rough, but then a lot of women do, don’t they?’ He smirked again. ‘Judging by the noise this one made, she loved it.’

She loved it.

The suspect hadn’t taken his eyes off Kelly for the entire interview. She’d been with a male colleague, and the offender hadn’t said anything provocative; hadn’t made any move to intimidate Kelly. It was when the tapes were off, and Kelly was leading him back to his cell alone, that he leaned in towards her. She felt the warmth of his breath on her neck, and smelt the stale tang of body odour and cigarettes.

‘She loved it,’ he whispered.

It had been like an out of body experience, Kelly had thought afterwards. As though it were someone else who had spun round with her fist raised; hitting him squarely on the nose, clawing at his face. Someone else losing control. Kelly’s colleague had dragged her off, but it was too late.

Kelly wondered when Lexi had written that letter to Durham Constabulary; whether even by that point Lexi cared less about the outcome than Kelly did; whether Kelly had almost lost her job for no reason.

‘That’s it, is it?’ Kelly said, pushing the image away. ‘That’s your story?’

‘That’s what happened.’ Tillman folded his arms again and leaned against his chair, making the plastic creak. ‘But let me guess: she’s had an attack of the guilts, or her boyfriend’s found out, and now she’s crying rape. Right?’

Kelly had learned a lot over the last few years. There were better ways to deal with criminals than by getting angry. She leaned back, mirroring Tillman; the palms of both hands raised as though she were accepting defeat. Waiting for the smug smile she knew was coming.

And then, ‘Tell me about find the one dot com.’

The change was immediate.

Panic flashed in Tillman’s eyes and his whole body tensed.