How We Deal With Gravity(60)
“Don’t be embarrassed. What is it?” I ask, needing to know she’s okay, that I didn’t just blow the best thing in my life.
“It’s sort of like when you imagine something for so long—when you actually dream about it—and then you get to live your dream? I guess…uhhhh, this sounds so stupid, I know, but Mason, I used to dream about being with you like this. I just, I’m afraid it’s not real,” she says, her eyes starting to tear again.
I pull the blanket up to cover her, then I pull her in closely, wrapping her completely in my arms so she has nowhere to go. “Avery, I’m in over my head here. This whole feelings thing, well…it’s foreign territory for me. But I can promise you one thing—this? This is real. It’s the realest f*cking thing I’ve ever known. And I’m a persistent, stubborn bastard, so you better get used to me,” I stop short of telling her I love her, but the thought actually runs through my mind. If I weren’t such a chicken shit, I would.
She just stares into my eyes for several long minutes, her hand against my face the entire time, like she’s trying to memorize me, and I let her. To be honest, I like looking at her eyes. The green against the paleness of her face, and the hint of red to her hair is perfection. If I could paint a portrait of a beautiful woman, this would be it.
“So, we’re sort of doing this backward, but…I’d like to take you out tomorrow. You know, on a real date,” I say, laughing at my earlier thoughts of how I was going to seduce her during our night out. “I already sorted things out with Claire. Oh…and I got your dad’s permission.”
That last part actually makes her laugh. “You…asked my dad? You asked Ray Abbot if you could take me out?” she says, her giggle making my lungs fill with air.
“Sure did,” I say, kind of proud of myself.
She shakes her head and shuts her eyes for a second. When she opens them again, her smile is the brightest I’ve ever seen. She moves forward and kisses me softly but long. “Thank you,” she whispers against my lips.
“You’re welcome. But…you should know, we’re going cow-tippin’, so you might not want to thank me until you see all of the things I’ve got planned for the date,” I joke, and she considers me for a few long seconds before deciding I’m full of shit. “Seriously, it’s a surprise. Just some things I kind of want to do…with you.”
She blushes then, and I realize exactly everything we have done, and I squeeze her against me tightly.
“I mean, clothed activities,” I say, rubbing my nose against hers.
I get up to turn off my light, but when I do, I realize Avery is standing behind me, my blanket still clutched to her body. “I feel like such a loser, but…I really do have a paper to write,” she says, slapping her hand to her face in embarrassment. I forgot all about that—my stomach dropping at the thought of her not spending the night next to me…especially after what just happened.
“Okay, well…I’ll wait up,” I say, opening the door and looking around the hall and stairs to make sure the coast is clear.
“Are you sure? It’s going to be a while,” she says, chewing at the tips of her fingernails.
“Positive,” I say, swatting her on the ass once playfully while she steps into the hall.
“Okay, well…I’ll just knock lightly,” she says, her finger still dangling from her mouth. I pull it away and kiss her one more time.
“See you soon,” I say, and I stand there to watch her walk away, her bare shoulders and back almost as sexy as her front. She smiles one last time before she ducks into her room, and I watch the light flip on from underneath her door.
I think I’m waiting for the panic to set in. This is all new to me…wanting a girl to actually come back? I slip downstairs to pick up our clothes, and I go ahead and indulge in a few gulps from the milk myself. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to do that and not think of Avery—and tonight.
When I get back to my room, I pull out the guitar and play for about an hour, hoping she’ll be joining me soon. By midnight, I turn the light off and actually pace the small space of my room, opening the door to check on her light every five minutes. It’s always on, and I know her studies are important to her, so I take a deep breath each time, and come back to sit on my bed. I wish like hell I read. I actually read a few news blogs on my phone, but I’m just roaming over the words. I’m not paying attention to anything.
By two in the morning, I give up and let my eyes fall shut. I’m so f*cking tired, and as badly as I want to wait for her, I just can’t.
I don’t know when she came in, but when my eyes blink open, the faint sound of Avery’s phone alarm is chirping next to me, and her hair is draped across my chest. She blinks her eyes open slowly and the cutest yawn on earth leaves her lips, followed by what has now become my favorite smile.
“You made it,” I say, smoothing her hair back and tucking it behind her ear.
“I came in an hour ago. It was a tough paper, but I promised. And I missed you,” she says, literally stealing every last piece of me with her words. She promised—the heaviness of that single word burning in my chest, and locking up my soul. And even though I haven’t said it yet, I know I love her. And I know I can’t lose her or let anything happen to her or even see her cry without it absolutely wrecking me.