How We Deal With Gravity(46)

“What’s a’matter there, Mason? Cat got your tongue?” he asks, his temper simmering just under the surface. I say one word out of place, I’m pretty sure he’s going to slide that chair back into my shin and turn around to knock out my teeth.

“Ray…it’s not…it’s not,” I’m about to say what you think. But I don’t know what Ray thinks. Hell, I don’t know what I think! I just know that what happened with Avery last night wasn’t about me getting a piece. And it’s not just a one-time thing. And it’s all I can think about.

“It was a long night Ray, and she needed someone…to talk to. We talked,” I am such a goddamned liar.

Ray slides his chair out and walks over to the trashcan where he leisurely slides the crumbs from his plate. He is eerily calm, and I swear I feel like I’m in some horror movie where the dude is going to jump at me with a knife at any second. I’m careful to keep a good distance between us as he walks closer to rinse his dish.

He hasn’t responded to me, not even with as much as a nod or a smile. Nothing. I’d guess that he didn’t hear me, but I know he did. We’re alone, in a quiet kitchen. Part of me thinks he likes watching me squirm like this. Fine—let him make me squirm. Whatever it takes to keep him from knocking me on my ass.

“When was your last long-term relationship, Mason?” he says, still not looking me in the eyes. This is awful, and with every word he says, the more miserable this conversation becomes. But it’s inevitable; at least, it is if I ever want to kiss Avery again. And I do. I’ve never wanted anything more. But this answer I’m about to give isn’t going to help.

“I don’t know…high school, I guess,” I say, knowing that the longest I was with any one girl in high school was about a month—and that was only because she didn’t want to break up before we won homecoming king and queen.

“High school,” he nods to himself. He chuckles lightly under his breath, shutting his eyes and shaking his head while he dries his hands on the towel. “High school, Mason. You were a kid. And I gotta tell you something—high school doesn’t count.”

I don’t respond, because he’s right.

“Mason, Avery was married. And the guy walked out on her. When she needed a man, he turned out to be a boy,” his eyes are on mine now, and my stomach feels like it’s full of rocks.

“No offense, Ray, but Adam is a douchebag,” I say, feeling like I need to stick up for myself. I may be a f*ck up, but I’m not Adam Price. I don’t run from people when they need me. Of course, no one has ever needed me before.

“You’re right, Mason. He is, and you’re nothing like him,” Ray says, and I feel like I can breathe for the moment. I don’t know why that man’s opinion of me matters so much, but it does—and now that Avery’s in my head, too, it feels like it matters more.

“But here’s the thing...I’m not going to live forever. I know, it’s a shocker,” he jokes, rubbing his hands around his giant belly. “But seriously, Mason. There is going to come a day where my baby girl…she’s going to be alone. And what life has put on her plate—well, it’s a heavy load. And she needs a partner, someone to help her carry it. But you can’t drop things on her when times get tough. And you can’t choose something else first, because Avery and Max—they get to be first. They have to be. Because if they’re not Avery will fall apart.”

I know everything he’s saying. It’s the debate doing ten rounds in my head right now. I know Avery needs someone, and I know I’ve only been around a couple of weeks, and everything sputtering in my chest right now is all new and warm and honeymoon shit. But I also know I’ve never wanted to be anywhere more…not even the road. And I’ve never wanted to be someone’s someone. But damn do I want to be her everything.

“I get it, Ray. And I won’t be reckless. I promise,” I say, holding his gaze, which is intimidating the hell out of me, but I suck down that fear and hold it anyway, pushing on. “But just so you know…it’s not like Avery is just some girl to me. Your house…it was always more of a home to me than my own home. And Avery—she was a part of that. I might see her differently now, but I’ve always seen her. She’s always been home.”

Ray bites at his bottom lip, his eyes lowered and cautious. “Mason, I have always thought of you as a son. I hope you know that. And I’m glad that you feel that way about being here. But Avery has always seen you as more. I’m not na?ve; I know when my daughter loves someone. You just make sure that if you decide to open that door—to her and Max—that you’re ready for everything on the other side.”

There’s nothing but silence after he speaks, and he doesn’t stick around long enough to hear any more of my thoughts. I know he’s not really interested. And I know that it would probably make Ray rest a lot easier if I put on the brakes, finished out this little stint here at home, and headed back out on the road, without starting something new with his daughter. And maybe my life would be a whole hell of a lot easier, too. But I’m starting to wonder if it would be worth it? Any of it? Without…her?





Chapter 12: Learning How to Do This


Avery



Everyone is looking at me like they all know. The girl in front of me in class kept turning around and smiling. I think she sensed my mood—I feel ridiculous that I thought last night was anything more than it was.