Hot Winter Nights (Heartbreaker Bay #6)(2)

Nor did the fact that sitting on a bench outside of Hunt Investigations’ front door were two old ladies dressed up as elves. Knitting elves.

The one on the left looked to be making a Christmas stocking. The one on the right was working on something too small to see. They smiled at him in greeting, lips coated in bright red lipstick. Left elf had a smudge of it on her teeth and her little elf cap seemed to quiver on top of her white hair.

Right Elf pulled out her phone. “I just got a text from Louise,” she told Left Elf. “It says, ‘Don’t be late for work tonight, Santa’s turned into Grinch. SMH.’” She blinked. “What does S-M-H mean?”

“Shaking my head,” Left Elf said.

“Oh thank goodness,” Right Elf said, putting a hand to her heart. “I thought it meant Sex Might Help.”

They both cackled over that before they saw Lucas.

“Hello there, young man,” Left Elf said. “We were hoping you were Molly. We’ve got a problem involving a bad Santa and she said to meet her here.”

“A bad Santa,” Lucas repeated, starting to wonder if maybe he was still in bed dreaming this day.

“Yes, we work for him. Obviously,” Right Elf said, gesturing to herself.

“You’re . . . Santa’s elves,” he said slowly. “And you work for him at . . . the North Pole?”

“Right.” Left Elf snorted. “We work right here in the city like you, at the Christmas Village in Soma, in too tight costumes for too little money. Honey, didn’t your mama ever tell you Santa isn’t real?”

Okay, so they didn’t believe they were real elves. That was a relief. Lucas had a great uncle who sometimes thought he was Batman, but that was only on the nights he drank away his social security checks with his cronies.

“Santa promised us half of the profits,” Right Elf said. “To go to the charities of our choice. Last year we made enough to give big and hit up Vegas for a long weekend.”

Left Elf nodded with a smile. “I’ve still got Elvis’s underwear from that big impersonator party we were invited to, remember, Liz?”

Liz nodded. “But this year, we’re not getting anything. Santa says there aren’t any profits, that he’s barely breaking even. But that can’t be true because he just bought himself a brand-new Cadillac. Molly’s my neighbor, you see.”

Lucas didn’t see at all. He was good at certain things, such as at his job of investigating and seeking out the asshats of the world and righting justice. He was good at taking care of his close-knit family. He was good, when he wanted to be, in the kitchen. And—if he said so himself—also in bed.

But he was not good in social situations, such as those that required small talk, especially with old ladies dressed up as elves. “This really isn’t the sort of case that Hunt Investigations takes on,” he said.

“But Molly said you’re an elite security and investigative firm that employs finders and fixers for hire, whoever needs them.”

Not strictly true. A lot of the jobs they took on were routine; criminal, corporate and insurance investigations along with elite security contracts, surveillance, fraud, and corporate background checks. But some weren’t routine at all, such as forensic investigations, the occasional big bond bounty hunting, government contract work . . .

Nailing a bad Santa wasn’t on the list.

“Do you know when Molly might arrive?” Left Elf asked. She was looking at him even as her knitting needles continued to move at the speed of light. “We’ll just wait for her.”

“I don’t know her schedule,” Lucas said. And that was the truth. Hunt Investigations was run by the biggest badass he’d ever met. Archer Hunt, and he employed a team that was the best of the best. Lucas was honored to be a part of that team. All of them, himself included, would step in front of a bullet for each other, and had.

Literally, in his case.

The lone woman in their midst was Molly Malone, equally fearless, though in other ways. She was the one to keep them all on their toes. No one would dare venture into her domain at her desk and put their hands on her stuff to check her schedule, but he could at least ask around. “I’ll go check her ETA,” he said and headed inside.

He found Archer and Joe in the employee room inhaling donuts. Grabbing one for himself, he nodded to Archer and looked at Joe, one of Lucas’s best friends and also his work partner. “Where’s your sister?”

Joe shrugged and went for another donut. “Not her keeper. Why?”

“There’re two elves outside waiting to talk to her.”

“Still?” Archer shook his head. “I told them we wouldn’t take their case.” He headed out front. Lucas followed because if his social niceties game was stale, Archer had zero social niceties game.

“Ladies,” Archer said to the elves. “As I explained earlier, your case isn’t the kind of case we take on.”

“Oh we heard you,” Left Elf said. “We’re just waiting for Molly. She promised to help us personally if you wouldn’t.”

Archer looked pained. “Molly doesn’t take on cases here. She’s office staff.”

The two elves looked at each other and then tucked away their knitting. “Fine,” Left Elf said. “We’ll just go straight to her at home then.”