Hot Sauce (Suncoast Society #26)(11)

Happier than he’d ever been in his life.

And now, after having read his journal, she understood why. He’d finally been living a fully authentic life.

Not a completely open one, unfortunately, but at least an authentic one. As authentic as he could. He’d been enjoying himself, loving life, and…

He’d written that he’d been worried about her, about her mental state. One of the reasons he’d allowed her to talk him into permanently living with her. He’d felt she was going to work herself to death if he wasn’t there to force her to use her days off for rest.

Still looking after her, and here she’d thought she’d been looking after him.

She closed her eyes. “Why’d you have to like moscato?” she mumbled, her head throbbing. The fruity wine was too easy to guzzle down in copious quantities, unlike hard liquor or beer, of which she wasn’t a fan.

There were two texts on her phone from her friend, Jenny, checking on her. After responding to those, Vanessa forced herself up and out of bed.

After accomplishing that major feat, she used the bathroom, washed her face and brushed her teeth to clear the nasty taste from her mouth, swallowed a couple of ibuprofen, and then took Carlo out into the backyard to do his business.

Squinting against the bright late-morning sun, she stood in the doorway of the lanai and watched as Carlo did his thing in the grass. The early summer morning already felt warm and muggy. Yes, the backyard was totally surrounded by a privacy fence, but she liked to keep an eye on the dog anyway.

Especially now.

Her head throbbed.

On second thought, maybe drinking herself stupid over the next few days wasn’t such a good idea after all. It didn’t lessen the impact of her grief, and all it had done so far was make her feel even more damn miserable.

Actually…

Once Carlo was back inside the lanai, she stripped and jumped, naked, into the pool. She hadn’t turned the heater on in months, and it was a comfortably cool temperature. Enough to help lessen the throbbing in her head a little.

As she floated on her back with her eyes closed, she remembered the Saturday before how, after mowing the grass, Tony had jumped into the pool, clothes and all, and invited her to jump in with him. She’d been in a T-shirt and shorts and weeding the back flowerbed.

After kicking off her sneakers and socks, she’d jumped in, too, clothes and all, both of them laughing.

Now, in retrospect, she felt guilty as hell that he’d been mowing the lawn. He’d had pneumonia even then, but he’d insisted he was fine despite the cough.

He hadn’t been fine.

Carlo let out a whine. She opened her eyes and looked to find him standing at the edge of the pool, closest to her, staring at the water and whining.

She flipped over and swam to him, smiling at the way he wagged his tail when she joined him at the edge.

“Sorry, buddy. I know you don’t like the pool.” Hell, bathing him was an Olympic-worthy sport. They took him to a groomer a couple of times a month for baths and trims.

Now it would be her doing it.

Alone.

I need to update his microchip in formation. And the vet’s office. And the groomer.

So much kept cropping up to add to her to-do list. Things she kept thinking about. Ed Payne, the attorney Tony had used to draw up his will and hers, had given her a checklist of things to handle. Some things she could do immediately, and some would require her brother’s death certificate, which the mortuary would give to her when they received the certified copies. And some things would have to wait until after probate was finished.

Not that it would take very long, because he hadn’t had much. And she’d been the executor and recipient of his estate. His retirement fund, his life insurance policy, and what he’d had in the bank.

The money in the bank she could access, because he’d added her as a co-signer back when he’d moved in with her, just in case.

At the time, she’d thought it was unnecessary, but she’d responded in kind and added him.

Now…

I’ll have to take him off my bank accounts.

Tears threatened again as she choked back a hitching sob. The first thing she needed was some food in her stomach. With the worst of her hangover beginning to recede, she’d definitely decided not to spend the next couple of days drunk.

She didn’t like feeling like this in addition to grieving for her brother.

Looks like I don’t have much of a future as an alcoholic.

She emerged from the pool, to Carlo’s immense relief. She quickly toweled off with her clothes and returned inside, going straight to the shower. After feeling somewhat human, she pulled on a T-shirt and nothing else, her long, auburn hair damp and loose down her back, and headed for the kitchen. It was nearly eleven in the morning. No, she wasn’t a morning person, usually. Her days off were always spent sleeping late unless she had to get up to walk Carlo because Tony wasn’t home.

But she had stuff to do and wishing she didn’t have to do it wouldn’t get it done.

That stuff to do included going online and notifying people in Tony’s social networks about his passing.

Not a chore she relished.

I could ask Jenny to do it…

No, because again, that would have violated the spirit of Tony’s request. At Vanessa’s request, Jenny had kept silent about Tony’s passing, except to inform a few close local friends Vanessa knew about who’d been welcomed at the small, private service for him.