Hot Commodity (Banks / Kincaid Family #1)(19)

He wondered why’d he’d been in such a hurry to grow up, why he’d gone after Sienna when everyone warned him to stay away, why it had sucked the happiness from him when he tried to make her smile.

Swallowing, he strolled forward.

His nephew glanced up. The way his face lit had Cameron’s insides twisting even more. If only he’d stayed away from Sienna, he’d probably have his own little ankle-biter by now who would look up at him as if he were someone worthy and important.

"Unca Cam!" Aiden called. "Come pway wiv’ us."

Cameron grinned at the enticing offer, even as his stomach clenched, making the sour alcohol inside swirl and gurgle and work its way back up his esophagus. Ignoring the heartburn, he settled himself Indian style on the floor next to his nephew and picked out a blue block.

He glanced at his sister before stacking it. "So, what do I have to do to convince you not to tell anyone about this little incident?"

Leah handed Aiden a yellow arched-shaped block and proceeded to ignore Cameron for another ten seconds before she lifted her face and blew out a breath. "Well, I’ve already called Devin at work and told him."

Cameron rolled his eyes and grabbed a red block. Of course, she wouldn’t keep anything from her husband. Great.

"Okay, then," he said. "What do I have to do to keep you from telling Mom and Dad?"

"You mean, you don’t want them knowing you once again got married without telling anyone or even letting us meet your wife first?"

Frustrated, Cameron ran his hand through his hair. "Look, this was all just one big accident, okay?"

"Well, it wouldn’t have happened if you’d been sober. I thought you were past that, Cam. I thought you didn’t need grief counseling anymore."

Cameron stopped cold. He didn’t want to go over this again. He hated it when his family looked at him with sad, frustrated eyes and wondered why he couldn’t just straighten out his act. He hated disappointing them.

He’d been doing so well about hiding the misery too.

"Obviously, you don’t remember what yesterday was," he muttered quietly, gripping the red block in his hand so hard he was surprised it didn’t crumble.

The date would get him off the hook this time, but he was going to have to do better about keeping his problems concealed.

Leah glared at him, setting her hands on her hips, "Obviously, I don’t."

What? He cocked her a surprised look. She seriously didn’t know? It didn’t seem possible. The anniversary had been glaring at him as it crept closer like a big red blinking sign. Death date approaching. Death date approaching. He didn’t understand how anyone could forget.

"Mom and Dad’s anniversary is coming up," Leah mused thoughtfully. "But other than that—" She stopped cold, her eyes growing wide. "Oh, Cam," she said, sympathy filling her voice.

Not wanting to deal with anything that resembled pity, he turned away. A fresh wave of grief gripped him. Yesterday had been the anniversary of Sienna’s suicide. He couldn’t believe he’d celebrated by going out and marrying some blonde pop tart who only wanted to crawl back to her mother after the woman had tried to whore her out to a complete stranger.

"Just don’t tell Mom and Dad," he said, mortified when his voice

cracked. "Please."

Leah touched his back. "I won’t tell anyone. I mean, except Devin."

He turned and hauled her into a grateful hug. "Thank you." He closed his eyes as he inhaled the scent of her shampoo. He wished he could stay there a while longer, holding a concerned loved one and drifting in a fog of pleasant—

"Now, about this alcohol."

Groaning, Cameron pulled away. Leah’s hands tighten as if she wanted to keep him closer and protect her little brother from something that couldn’t be protected.

"Bubby—" she started.

"Leah, don’t. Please. I’m not…I can’t...Just don’t worry about it, okay. It was one insignificant relapse. Honest to God, I haven’t touched the stuff since…" well, not since the last painful death date a year ago. But he wasn’t going to mention that bit of news to his sister. His family assumed he’d been dry for three years now, which was true, save for those few anniversary binges.

As her son continued to play between them, Leah eyed him miserably, intensifying the despair brewing inside him. If only he could return to his happy place, the ache would go away. He wouldn’t have to deal with—

"You’re a recovering alcoholic, Cameron," Leah stated firmly, jerking him back to reality. "You can’t afford a relapse, small or otherwise."

He sighed and pressed a hand to his skull where his hangover wasn’t slacking off. It hadn’t been his intent to drink at all last night. He’d been so sure he could deal with the date sober. But when the memories had crashed down around him, he’d needed to escape the pain and darkness. He’d have done anything to forget.

The funny thing was, he hadn’t thought of Sienna once last night, not from the very moment he’d looked up into a pair of big blue eyes and grinned at Olivia Donovan.

"Drinking once a year on the anniversary of my wife’s death should be allowed," he muttered. "Give me that much at least."