Hitched (Hitched #1)(5)

"Do you like him?" Vi asks.

"What do you mean?"

She rolls her eyes. "I mean, do you like him? I know you liked the sex. Sounds like the man could seduce a nun and live to tell the tale. Plus, he's a modern day super hero who saves little kids. So, the only other question is, do you like him as a person?"

I think about it a second, but I could have answered right away. "Yes." Even though I don't know him very well, or at least can't remember knowing him, I like him.

She pats my arm, a knowing smile on her lips. "Then, honey, don't blow this. Marriage might have been a bit… extreme on your first night. But that doesn't mean you can't keep dating the man. You don't meet many like him in this world."





Chapter 4


From Different Worlds


I groan, letting my head flop back against the couch cushion. "My head is going to explode. I'm dying. It's likely a tumor."

Tate scoffs, and Vi jumps up. "Time for my Super Secret Hangover Cure All!"

"Oh God, no! Not that!" I whine. "Anything but that. I thought you were my friend. I thought you loved me."

She darts into the kitchen, ignoring my pleas, and comes out a few minutes later with a glass full of red... something.

"It's tough love. Here you go!"

The first thing you'll notice about Vi's hangover cure is the smell. The fumes alone could kill you. The second is the unnaturally bright red color, like Hollywood blood. But it's the taste that really does you in.

She's never told us the ingredients, but Tate and I made a list once. It included such delicacies as innards of beetles, lava from an active volcano, ash, vomit from a dog that's been poisoned and ate its own shit, and the tears of dying children.

"Drink up. Don’t miss a drop, or it won't work."

"I hate you."

But I drink. I drink as I feel it eating through my esophagus and trying to claw its way out of me like an alien. I drink as the taste makes me want to cut out my own tongue. I drink until there's nothing left, and I shove the glass back into her hand.

"Never again," I growl, grabbing Tate's water bottle to wash the taste out of my mouth.

"I love you too," she says, sauntering back into the kitchen.

The phone rings, and it doesn't send shooting pain through my brain. The drink is already working. How and why we'll never know. Vi is probably a witch in her spare time.

She comes out to answer it, nods briefly and puts the caller on hold. "It's Joey?"

"He's a regular. Good guy. Lawyer with a lot of friends. He ends up best man to many of them and is always looking for new bachelor party ideas. He got tired of the same old strip clubs, so now he uses us."

She puts him on speaker, and Joey and I exchange pleasantries before he gets to the reason for his call.

"So my buddy's getting married for the third… no, fourth time, and we need to do something really over the top."

I flip through my mental Rolodex and land on something fun and unique. "How about skydiving?"

"That could work. Keep it as a plan B. But I kind of had my heart set on a tank."

"A tank?" I can't keep the surprise out of my voice. Vi rolls her eyes, and Tate looks a bit panicked.

"Yeah, a buddy of mine said he knew a guy who went to Russia and got to ride a tank. You know how to set that up?"

No. We're in Las Vegas, not Russia. Holy f*ck. But of course, I don’t say that. "I'll look into it." Though in my mind I'm already working on that plan B. "How many guests?"

"Twenty-three."

Tate whistles at the number: it’s larger than their usual.

Joey continues. "Kacie, I was wondering, is there any kind of discount for a large party? Because with the divorce, things have been tight, you know?"

Joey told me about his ongoing divorce at our last party. He'd caught his wife sleeping with an old flame from college. Apparently, she'd never stopped loving him. Now, because they didn't have a prenup, they had to split everything down the middle. Joey didn't care too much about that, but they had two kids. He was fighting for them.

"Don't worry. We'll make it work. You'll get the Hitched Frequent Customer Discount." Something I just pulled out of my ass, but whatever.

"Ah, thanks, Kacie. You’re a doll."

We hang up, and I go into the kitchen for something to eat while Tate starts typing on his laptop. "Kacie, there's no way in hell we're going to get a tank for these guys, you know that right?"

"I know." I find some cheese and crackers. Good enough.

"So what's the plan?" he asks, still googling the impossible.

"The plan is to create an adventure that will make him forget about tanks and Russia and remember why he loves us and Las Vegas so much."

Vi heads to the kitchen for coffee. "You're too good to these people. I could never do your job."

"I'm pretty sure I could never do yours either," I say, thinking about what it must be like to work as a Dominatrix. "Oh, I nearly forgot!" I leave the food on the counter and run to the closet by our front door to pull out a bag. "I bought stuff for my super stealthy plan to put Hitched on the celebrity map!"